[I am speaking of the state of North Carolina in this post. I'm sure it's a great place if you have a man with you!!! I am trying to correct the fact that some people thought I was talking about Maryland, but the board keeps saying I'm not writing enough......
As a transplant from Maryland, now living here in North Carolina, I can give an honest observance of the situation here. I am a chubby,(not fat), long haired brunette swimming in a sea of skinny short haired tanned blonde's!
These women smile and say "bless your heart" to me all the time, at first it seemed nice, then I realized....not really. Another phrase said sounding nice, "Why don't y'all come over here and sit?" Then turn their backs and ignore you. What's that all about?
I'm not some creature from the black lagoon...I was considered very attractive, until I moved here.
Now I would say I'm just "okay". It's sort of like the high school football star that goes to college and finds out he wasn't that great after all. In my teens and twenties, once considered a real hottie in my town, still considered attractive now in my town. I'm just uh, "okay" here.
I have seen girls in their 20's here that look better than anyone on tv or movies. Does the word "10" mean anything to you? I have seen plenty of "10" since moving here. Their mothers are who I am dealing with, and it's no fun....I have very few friends here. I haven't really connected with anyone. It's Stepford!!!!!!
The men are the worst. Remember the movie, "Deliverance" ? Some actually look like those guys. Then there are the no shirt, cut off shorts, tanned, guys asking you for money, beach bum drunks, druggies....what losers, and all cut from the same cloth....just like little carbon copies of their redneck male chauvinist selves! WE ARE TALKING MEN IN THEIR 30S, 40S, 50S, 60S.......Not some teens on vacation....men who live here, and this is the way they live ALL YEAR!!! They are only nice to you when they sober enough to want beer or cigarette money from you. You have to hold your breath from the stench on them from the night before.....and I don't EVEN want to know what caused it. It's hard to believe it is still like this here in the South, but it is. You won't hear that from the State Reps, or in their tourist ads....but it's true.
Not all, certainly NOT ALL, but so many men here set the women's movement back 50 years! Just like rap videos is doing to the rest of the country. Here in NC, a woman's job is to feed a man's ego and serve him beer nightly. I just could not believe what it is like here, I feel like I'm in a frikin' time warp. If a woman wants a man's attention, she must bow down to him and speak meekly and friendly, and usually only when spoken to. Have a soft, friendly tone to her voice and ask, (beg) for anything (even groceries for the family) nicely. I have seen my friends behave this way around men here!!!
I carry on the behavior learned from growing up in the north. I am more thankful and more appreciative for it everyday. That is one of the things living in the South has taught me! It doesn't go over well here. I don't care anymore!!! I guess a woman moving here from the north with a man, would not have encountered some of the problems that I have, she would have let the man deal with them. Therefore, northern women with men, would not have the same experiences as I have. I would not recommend moving here as a single woman. I have had mechanics and tow truck men in particular treat me like another species, one that was not fit for them to even be speaking to......and this was over the phone, totally their fault, and they hadn't even seen me!!! They just knew I wasn't a woman using the flirty, submissive tone that Southern women do and that they were used to. I'm paying good money for your service, I am speaking to you in a nice, yet professional way.....I don't have to stroke your ego....that's not part of the deal, and if it was.....you should be stroking mine since I am the one paying YOU!!!
I came here with little money and no computer, so one day I made a trip to the local library. The have a waiting list to put you name on for computer time, which I did since the computers were all full. I had been waiting about 10-15 minutes when a man came in, winked at the librarian and said hey sweetie and she said hey back (hey means hello here in the south). He scribbled his name on the board and grabbed a seat. A man got up leaving a computer empty. As I stood up, I couldn't believe what I saw, the man that had just came in appeared to be "racing" me to the computer. I said, "excuse me" I was signed in first, before you, I was here a good 10 minutes before you were" He replied, "well, too bad, i got here before you, have to wait your turn!" Outraged, I looked at the librarian and exclaimed, "Excuse me, but I was here 10 minutes signed in before him, see on the board???!!!" The librarian looked and me and smiled and shook her hand and said, "oh, hun....these people here will be off in no time...just sit down a minute.....it won't take long at all" and she shook her head and snarled up her nose. Blatant sexism!!! I walked back by the man to leave, enraged I yelled at him, "Well, so much for "Southern Hospitality!" Little did I know that it was more a sexism thing than a southern thing.......
I could go on and on at the times that I have been at convenience stores, waiting to pay while the cashier is getting someone cigarettes or something....then a man walks in, I am totally ignored as if I don't exist, the girl smiles and says, "just the gas sir", but I won't go into all that......
My experiences here have certainly made me appreciate and understand what certain minorities have gone through and continue to go through in this country........there is nothing worse than feeling invisible........
IN CONCLUSION--HERE IN THE SOUTH:
MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMEN (LOOKS) UGLIEST MEN (ALL AREAS)--for the most part!!!
Ciao bella, Beachloverextreme
I'm sure North Carolina Is a great state in so many ways, just not in this way.