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Old 12-13-2008, 10:51 AM
 
3 posts, read 70,268 times
Reputation: 17

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Your friend in Shawnee is right, it isn't like that here. I live in Wichita, much bigger than Shawnee (metro pop. 500,000) And yes, kids swear, but we never worry about fights, or kids stealing things. Kids here a friendly and respectful to each other. Then again, we do live in a very good neighborhood. Northwest Wichita is probably the best place in the city to raise kids
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Old 12-13-2008, 05:24 PM
 
Location: New York City
2,814 posts, read 6,020,271 times
Reputation: 3164
Quote:
Originally Posted by bande1102 View Post
I'm on the East coast--Maryland and live in one of the most "desirable" neighborhoods/counties. But I'm so fed up with the kids around here that it is driving me crazy. The profanity/violence/lack of parental supervision is getting worse. And I'm talking about kids in elementary school. My neighbor's kids, who are 6 and 9 were blaring music with sexually explicit lyrics last weekend. A few weeks ago my 8 year old was on the sidewalk, literally in front of my house (I'd ran in to get him a water) and another 8 year old jumped him and stole his foot ball (???). Apparently my son didn't give it to him when he told him to. You can talk to the parents all you want, they just don't care.

Are kids like this everywhere? My dh says yes and get over it. My friends recently moved to Shawnee, KS and say no, move west. My brother in law moved to Texas and says its a MD/DC/NoVA thing and wants us to join him there.

Anyway, I'm looking for a safe, affordable, family friendly town to raise my boys. Does it exist? What's the trade off? Are things that different geographically across the US?
My child attends elementary school in Manhattan. Granted, it's one of the best schools in this city, but I'm always amazed how nice these kids are. I attribute this to both their parents and the school itself, which spends time fostering community and encouraging kindness.
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Old 12-13-2008, 07:29 PM
 
Location: Scarsdale, NY
2,775 posts, read 10,722,400 times
Reputation: 794
Quote:
Originally Posted by bande1102 View Post
I'm on the East coast--Maryland and live in one of the most "desirable" neighborhoods/counties. But I'm so fed up with the kids around here that it is driving me crazy. The profanity/violence/lack of parental supervision is getting worse. And I'm talking about kids in elementary school. My neighbor's kids, who are 6 and 9 were blaring music with sexually explicit lyrics last weekend. A few weeks ago my 8 year old was on the sidewalk, literally in front of my house (I'd ran in to get him a water) and another 8 year old jumped him and stole his foot ball (???). Apparently my son didn't give it to him when he told him to. You can talk to the parents all you want, they just don't care.

Are kids like this everywhere? My dh says yes and get over it. My friends recently moved to Shawnee, KS and say no, move west. My brother in law moved to Texas and says its a MD/DC/NoVA thing and wants us to join him there.

Anyway, I'm looking for a safe, affordable, family friendly town to raise my boys. Does it exist? What's the trade off? Are things that different geographically across the US?
Scarsdale, NY. You'll hear loud music occasionally but the kids are just stuck-up, not criminal-minded. Parents here watch there kids like a hawk. I know kids who get grounded for a month for getting a 96 on a report card.
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Old 12-13-2008, 07:37 PM
 
Location: Coastal Northeast
16,738 posts, read 23,170,683 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bmurphy View Post
Unfortunately, it's not confined to any one area.
Agreed. Every neighborhood will have both types of kids/families.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Futcha View Post
Scarsdale, NY. You'll hear loud music occasionally but the kids are just stuck-up, not criminal-minded. Parents here watch there kids like a hawk. I know kids who get grounded for a month for getting a 96 on a report card.
Funny, Fairfield County is a lot like that too. Except the kids are grounded at 3pm, and by 7pm the parents are out buying them an iPhone because they feel bad for punishing them. Some kids have no idea what it's like to be middle class, it's sickening.
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Old 12-13-2008, 07:42 PM
 
395 posts, read 904,310 times
Reputation: 194
Dude, it totally depends on where u are. It depends on where in TX. If you're in austin kids are probably pretty chill, hippy parents etc. But if you're in H-town and you have some snot-nosed brats, the son of some fortune 500 guy, driving around in daddy's car, you get bad apples.
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Old 12-14-2008, 09:14 AM
 
Location: Cleveland
3,070 posts, read 10,705,408 times
Reputation: 961
There is kids like that most the places I have gone. NE, Midwest, south, west, it goes on everywhere. I wouldnt say it depends on the city or area as it does who lives next door to you or on your street.

There is nice kids, and theres not so nice kids. Some of its due to lack of parental supervision. Some kids are just probably on the internet too much or TV and can watch whatever, but all they see is whats going on, and they do it, but most the time theyre not mature enough to completely understand it. I can see how it would be annoying because you live in nice neighborhood, and Im assuming you didnt expect this type of stuff to be going on.
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Old 12-14-2008, 11:06 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
34,691 posts, read 33,695,295 times
Reputation: 51909
Quote:
Originally Posted by bande1102 View Post
I'm on the East coast--Maryland and live in one of the most "desirable" neighborhoods/counties. But I'm so fed up with the kids around here that it is driving me crazy. The profanity/violence/lack of parental supervision is getting worse. And I'm talking about kids in elementary school. My neighbor's kids, who are 6 and 9 were blaring music with sexually explicit lyrics last weekend. A few weeks ago my 8 year old was on the sidewalk, literally in front of my house (I'd ran in to get him a water) and another 8 year old jumped him and stole his foot ball (???). Apparently my son didn't give it to him when he told him to. You can talk to the parents all you want, they just don't care.

Are kids like this everywhere? My dh says yes and get over it. My friends recently moved to Shawnee, KS and say no, move west. My brother in law moved to Texas and says its a MD/DC/NoVA thing and wants us to join him there.

Anyway, I'm looking for a safe, affordable, family friendly town to raise my boys. Does it exist? What's the trade off? Are things that different geographically across the US?
How many people in the place where you live now, are from there originally? I bet a lot less than the place you left.

In my opinion, the area you are in is probably highly transient. And also in my opinion, highly transient areas are the stinkiest places to live (income level doesn't matter) because people are just temporarily parked until their next move (usually job related). They don't give a rat's patootey about their neighbors or the community because they know they're just passing through for a few years. That Maryland house they live in is not "home." Now, they do want things/services and they want the place to be safe but they just aren't vested in the community like other places with a more long-term stable population.

I don't have any kids. When I moved from Long Island to Maryland, one of the first things I noticed was no high school aged kids working after school --- all Mexicans working in the places where high school kids normally work. I thought, are teens that lazy these days that they don't have after school jobs?

Twelve years later I moved to Tennessee from Maryland. It has a population of about 3,500 more people than my Maryland town. Although I'm retired, I'm again in a government town but the difference is the parents work in the town they live in or they live 1 town over so they're home earlier than the parents were when I lived in Maryland. Here, high school kids still work in fast food places and other typical places that employ teens so they learn responsibility and how to deal with people. They volunteer through their schools and their churches. There are actually kids here that are still in scouting. I know because I just saw a flatbed full of them last night at our town Christmas parade. The newspapers (we have 2 in our suburban town) report a lot on kid accomplishment, academic and volunteer. Do you see a lot of that kind of kid reporting in your Maryland newspaper? In fact, other than sports, do they report at all on kid accomplishments? Kids here won a nationally prestigious science competition and were regaled by the entire town for weeks...and no touchdown was involved.

My town has a large retiree population but they retired from government (and government contractor work) and stayed here, the town they worked in - I'm the odd one who moved here in retirement. But the point is, as long-time residents, the town and the kids in it are important to them. They even voted for a tax increase to rennovate the high school. When is the last time you heard about seniors voting in favor of having their taxes raised for something school related?

My opinion is, and the point I'm trying to make, is if you are able to live in a town that has a high percentage of natives and long-time residents, that's probably where you'll be more likely to find better family/community values. Most people when they move look for other transplants to live among because it's less work to fit in but I don't think that's better than living in a traditional stable community.

If I was looking for a place to raise a family, I'd be looking for one that doesn't have a lot of people moving in and/or out of it.
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Old 12-14-2008, 11:30 AM
 
7,848 posts, read 18,273,490 times
Reputation: 2783
Quote:
Originally Posted by gimme it View Post
My child attends elementary school in Manhattan. Granted, it's one of the best schools in this city, but I'm always amazed how nice these kids are. I attribute this to both their parents and the school itself, which spends time fostering community and encouraging kindness.
All schools promote character education...I don't know if the school you're referring to is public or private, but one big difference in the two is that public schools are required to accept every student, and they just about have to murder someone to get kicked out of school - and even then they just go to another public school system.
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Old 12-14-2008, 02:04 PM
 
559 posts, read 1,312,077 times
Reputation: 219
I think it has more to do with what type of neighborhood then what state/part of the country your in.
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Old 12-14-2008, 02:28 PM
 
Location: Royal Palm Beach, FL.
63 posts, read 80,441 times
Reputation: 33
It all depends on what type of neighborhood and school. And the parents.
My daughters (who are in 5th grade) have heard 6th graders swear in the hallway at school. They've heard kids play inappropriate music on the bus through their portable iPod speakers. They overhear kids talking about things with a sexual nature. And the list could go on and on.
We live in the midwest, and looking at the rest of your posts, I see it doesn't only happen here. Basically I just tell my kids to ignore it
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