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I completely agree with you. I actually am coming back to KC next month to attend a wedding for my cousin. He is getting married and is only 24. People tend to get married much earlier than average in that area it seems. I think it has to do with the prevailing rural culture that surrounds the area even though it is a large city. I am in a career field that will likely transfer me to many different cities and towns over time so I would hate to be TIED DOWN in one particular area.
One of the reasons I left was also due to the poor climate for single people, even in areas of KC, MO. I also left because I hate hot weather and KC has way to much of it for my taste. Another reason I left was to be close to my retired parents in NH. Lastly, I left because I wanted to take a job that was close to fantastic natural ammenities. I am close to the ocean, lakes, and mountains. I would only leave NH if I absolutely had to. It is one of those kind of places... You would have to visit to understand. "Live Free or Die"
Coming to KC in July. Brace for a heat wave!! Sounds like you have it pretty good up there. I would definitely love to visit the northeast. The only part of the US I have yet to visit.
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Originally Posted by Thomas R.
That's young to you? To me that's about the right age, maybe a bit old. You hopefully have your degree, a job, and are still young enough that having kids doesn't have health risks. My two oldest siblings married at 20 and are still married. My older brother C married at 25 and I was interested/happy he waited so long. My little sister is unmarried at 29 and I kind-of assume that means she'll never marry. (I don't plan on marrying, I'm 32. Maybe that's not too old, but meh)
I went to my nephew's wedding last weekend and he was eighteen. She was not pregnant or anything, he just wanted to marry her. I felt like that was a bit young, but this was seen as a bit judgmental and I felt a bit bad thinking it. Now I have another nephew who married at nineteen after he'd fathered two kids with the gal. I found that odd, but he has a good job. He certainly makes more money than I'm likely to ever make. Still I'm sympathetic to the idea that 18-19 might be a tad young.
I'm 20 now and I could never imagine being married at my age! I will admit I do have maturity issues. There are several young ladies that I have known for a long time that I could've married right now but would rather wait until both were mature enough, stable living, and had a degree. Most 20 year olds are in school still. No way in hell can you manage to be married, work to support yourself, your wife/husband, and perhaps a child; whether you're going to school or not. What kind of job would pay good enough money to a 20 year old??
Maybe (and I'm guessing) your family has different views on marriage. I would never at 18 said I loved a girl. Just way too young.
Besides people should just have fun in their early 20s. If you get married young, you'll miss out on the good things. I'm totally chill with having a monogamous relationship around the early 20s but at least wait until your in your near 30s to get married because I'm sure you've met a lot of your financial goals and you've had your fun.
Whoo, gone a little bit to far here. KC single's market is poor... end of story. This is one of the reasons I'd stray away from here. I'm about to hit that age where all my friends are being tied down. I don't want to be tied down. I was never a child...
Back on topic: Like I said, KC is good for family's (like the OP is looking for a good family town) so they shall have no problem finding a family oriented town around the 4 states.
BTW nothing wrong with being married young... If that person wants to be in that kind of thing for the rest of their life, so be it.
BTW nothing wrong with being married young... If that person wants to be in that kind of thing for the rest of their life, so be it.
I just don't get the appeal of getting married young- especially when you tie yourself down in a place like KC (no offense). For some people it definitely works, though. I am a big traveler and would hate to feel semi-trapped in place.
Yes, I am coming to KC in early July. I am keeping my fingers crossed for cool weather
Last edited by GraniteStater; 06-14-2009 at 08:22 AM..
I just don't get the appeal of getting married young- especially when you tie yourself down in a place like KC (no offense). For some people it definitely works, though. I am a big traveler and would hate to feel semi-trapped in place.
Yes, I am coming to KC in early July. I am keeping my fingers crossed for cool weather
We've already hit the 90s so better be praying to the weather gods
Well what's "young" I guess varies from region to region and era to era. To me "proper marrying age" would be 22 to 28. The idea 24 is "young" to get married is sincerely hard for me to understand. At 24 you should be clearly an adult with a job, some kind of education, etc. You can run for Congress at 25.
Now I would think of 20 as young, just not too young. The teenage weddings of my nephews struck me, at the time, as slightly weird. (And I wasn't the only one bothered)
However for much of history my standard would even be deemed strict. Sixteen was the age girls started getting married from ancient to early modern times. My Dad married at 19, which wasn't that odd then yet strikes me as a bit too young now. If your culture/society doesn't depend as much on getting a degree earlier marrying ages make sense. Also if your society expressly links marriage to starting a family then waiting until your thirties can be unwise. (Getting pregnant after 35 can work fine, but is more problematic) Lastly if your culture/religion expressly disdains pre-marital sex than earlier marriage ages are often preferrable.
On the financial issue my nephew, the one with two kids and a house, works in the oil industry. He makes a good living because he has something of a high risk job in a way. Still he made me realize I was wrong. My assumption was two kids and a wife before 20 meant poverty. The stats seemed to justify that. However you can't always judge individual situations based on statistical probabilities. I was almost shocked when he got a house and even moreso when I heard how much he makes a year, but weird things can happen. This doesn't mean I recommend doing what he did, far from it as I'm still not convinced his good times will last, but I'm not so willing now to categorically say it never works.
Well what's "young" I guess varies from region to region and era to era. To me "proper marrying age" would be 22 to 28. The idea 24 is "young" to get married is sincerely hard for me to understand. At 24 you should be clearly an adult with a job, some kind of education, etc. You can run for Congress at 25.
Now I would think of 20 as young, just not too young. The teenage weddings of my nephews struck me, at the time, as slightly weird. (And I wasn't the only one bothered)
However for much of history my standard would even be deemed strict. Sixteen was the age girls started getting married from ancient to early modern times. My Dad married at 19, which wasn't that odd then yet strikes me as a bit too young now. If your culture/society doesn't depend as much on getting a degree earlier marrying ages make sense. Also if your society expressly links marriage to starting a family then waiting until your thirties can be unwise. (Getting pregnant after 35 can work fine, but is more problematic) Lastly if your culture/religion expressly disdains pre-marital sex than earlier marriage ages are often preferrable.
On the financial issue my nephew, the one with two kids and a house, works in the oil industry. He makes a good living because he has something of a high risk job in a way. Still he made me realize I was wrong. My assumption was two kids and a wife before 20 meant poverty. The stats seemed to justify that. However you can't always judge individual situations based on statistical probabilities. I was almost shocked when he got a house and even moreso when I heard how much he makes a year, but weird things can happen. This doesn't mean I recommend doing what he did, far from it as I'm still not convinced his good times will last, but I'm not so willing now to categorically say it never works.
In the recent past, the average age of marriage was quite a bit lower compared to the present.
For most European countries the average age for marriage is much higher than the US.
Marrying Age around here seems to be around 18-23, but that's just my own observations.
To me, there's no reason to hurry into marriage, but my sister got married at 20 (her husband was 19) and they're both going strong. They dated for years. My Mom got married at 19, my grandmother at 18.
Maturity is different for each person. Some are mature enough to marry at 20, some are still not mature enough to marry at 24. To say any age over when you officially become an adult (age 18) is too young for marriage is difficult. Maturity can vary greatly.
And being married doesn't mean that you have to have kids immediately. You can wait for a long time if you want to. My sister has been married 4 years and is not pregnant yet, and has no plans for motherhood as of right now.
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You would have to visit to understand. "Live Free or Die" 
!! Sounds like you have it pretty good up there. I would definitely love to visit the northeast. The only part of the US I have yet to visit.
! I will admit I do have maturity issues. There are several young ladies that I have known for a long time that I could've married right now but would rather wait until both were mature enough, stable living, and had a degree. Most 20 year olds are in school still. No way in hell can you manage to be married, work to support yourself, your wife/husband, and perhaps a child; whether you're going to school or not. What kind of job would pay good enough money to a 20 year old??
