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Old 04-08-2007, 10:50 PM
Location: The Frenchie Farm, Where We Grow 'em Big!
2,078 posts, read 5,658,520 times
Reputation: 1066


Originally Posted by wilkermoo View Post
My husband and I have been spending a great deal of our time for the last year trying to figure out where we should live. We are both in our late 20's with no kids and have been married about 4 years now. We have been going back and forth about what is most important to us when deciding where to move, or whether not to move.
The area that we currently live in is very expensive, but everything we know is already here. Are there others out there going through something similar to what we are going through? What are you doing about it? What are some of the factors influencing your decision?
We're stuck on the same boat. We narrowed it down to ABQ, MSP, CMH, or DIA. We live in LA and we may stay because of his profession. But our biggest obstacle has been for us is the gay rights issue. Not alot of gays know that they are limited to have and not have as a citizen of the US. So we're tearing it down from state to state. What a hassle. Adoptions, civil unions, estate issues.... even hospital visitation. Not to bring ya' down, but one thing that helped out for us is that we visited the different cities as mentioned in their worse weather situation. We were quite suprised.
Well, good luck in your endeavours. And keep asking those questions, no matter how obscure they may be!
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Old 04-09-2007, 06:52 AM
Location: Hartford County
106 posts, read 330,917 times
Reputation: 81
Default yup

I'm ready to move and confused as well. Until I discovered this board I was inches away from making a life altering move, but then half the places I was considering are shown in a new light on this board. I never ever thought of the mass movement to and overcrowding problem in say Raliegh NC. This board opened my eyes to some things I never considered while at the same time made me nervous to make that big jump.

Still researching...
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Old 04-09-2007, 07:19 AM
Location: South Carolina
5,298 posts, read 5,773,735 times
Reputation: 8141
Yep we are also having that same problem and it can be draining.
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Old 04-09-2007, 07:20 AM
1,229 posts, read 3,154,578 times
Reputation: 286
IT is also great, if you can afford to do so, to move to different regions of the USA and the world, if you can!, to have those expereinces, some people thrive on the experiences, I know I have, I do not regret most of my travels, I see them as meeting new people, experiencing new things, I never would of had been able to if I were stuck in the same town and state all my life, never seeing the world..but that is just me, I love new adventures!
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Old 04-09-2007, 12:04 PM
Location: Hartford County
106 posts, read 330,917 times
Reputation: 81
Default The thing is...

The thing is kids change the equation. When I was single I traveled more and even made a sizable move to another state. Now, with two young ones and considering schools, it's not easy. The last thing you want to do, despite a strong impulse, is uproot your family, even for a year, if it's a nightmare. It's roll the dice and everytime I think I've found the right area there's always some drawback. What it comes down to is something I said in another thread... either do it or stay and make peace with staying. Obviously no place is perfect but in moving you want it to be to a better place. This board is enlightening and I've learned a lot about the U.S. and it's best places to live while at the same time it made me think the grass is not always greener. Things I'm finding wrong with my current home state is happening to other areas or possibly on the horizon. We're all trying to be visionaries and to make the right choice. Some people live their whole life without considering moving and shrugging and/or bitching through hardships and stupidity hoping an end is in sight while others feel the urge to check out new frontiers and challenges when life starts going stale or economically unfeasible. It's confusing because sometimes the grass IS GREENER and other times it's a major mistake. We're all trying to tip the scales into our favor and it gets confusing because the intel' is confusing. One person hates a place and is fleeing from it while another has moved there and is in love with the area. It's a crazy world. I think a lot has to do with how our local and federal government have run places into the ground.

But from what I gather there seems to be a few solid areas throughout the U.S. that have strong praise by the people that live there. If you'd have asked me ten years ago if I'd consider moving to any part of Wisconsin I'd laugh. What's the appeal? The weather sucks. I'm not a winter person. Since then and currently with my research on this board I'd be foolish to not consider Madison, Wisconsin. Life isn't simple. And as I said bringing kids into the equation narrows the field. If single we could all spend a year in New Orleans, a year in Boston and a year in the Pacific Northwest. Being 40 and with kids... well... you know what I mean. Suddenly the midwest and places such as Madison or even Buffalo that I normally would have imagined not being my cup of tea might very well be my cup of tea in my current state of mind.

So no you are not alone. One day I want to move and the next day I think I should stay. But as time flies it gets harder for several reasons so I either have to do it or make peace with staying and possibly moving in sixteen years when I retire and my kids are old enough. BUT I think I'm not alone in worrying that I might not be able to afford anywhere with the way things are going. People used to retire to Florida. Now look at Florida. In twenty years the affordable places might be narrowed down to Mississippi (no disrespect to people living there) with everything North and South of it developed and taken.

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Old 04-10-2007, 07:44 AM
222 posts, read 730,480 times
Reputation: 143
Default Same Boat, Different Crew

My spouse and I find ourselves looking at various locations ourselves, although we are in a slightly different place in our lives than a lot of you. We are in our mid-40s and our kids are grown, so we don't have to worry about schools or even paying for their college anymore. We both have fairly portable careers (webmaster and lawyer) so we should have lots of options.

We also somehow managed to sell our home in Michigan last fall, at a time when many others loooking to leave haven't been so luckly. We are fortunate enough to be renting a nearly new place for less than what the mortgage would be. Unfortunately the job market here is shaky and getting shakier every day. So, we're looking. The problem? When you can go anywhere, there are a lot of choices! And, a lot of opinions.

We grew up in Indiana, lived in Texas in the mid-80s and have been in Michigan now for 20 years, so we have moved around a little. While we would like some warmer weather, I don't think we want the high humidity in the South, or the harsh winters of the Great Plains. Most of the East Coast looks expensive and crowded to us, as does most of the West Coast. We could move somewhere else in the Midwest, but that wouldn't really change our situation that much, and we could find ourselves in the same boat 5 years from now.

Like many of you, we'd like to be near (45 minutes) a big city with all the stores, resturants, museums and things we love, but still live in a small community that is safe, cheap and quiet, with a mild four seasons: the Holy Grail for City-Data Readers, I'm afraid. (Actually, if the economy was better here in Michigan, the place we are currently living would be darn close to that.)

This message board has been very helpful, but sometimes frustrating because just when we think we've found the "perfect place" we read a thread that convinces us that the grass may not really be greener on the other side. Housing Costs! Crime! Corrupt Government! Polluted Water! Weather! Ugh!

Yet, the pull is still there and we keep on looking. There are such great resources online (like this site ) that it makes it almost like a big game . . . but then the stakes are very high, aren't they?

We have found a couple of potential sites and will try to make some visits this spring and summer to check them out. At least we can afford to do that. Sounds like many other folks on this message board can't afford to do that and are trusting all of us to paint them a picture of where we currently are or hope to be.

Good luck to all in your quest.

Last edited by Yac; 01-08-2008 at 06:50 AM..
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Old 04-10-2007, 07:56 AM
Location: Area 51
44 posts, read 33,382 times
Reputation: 12
If i could choose...California (without any kind of doubt).
But its expensive.
The southern states are great, but there are too much conflicts between razes...
New York and the north east states are soooo bored for me...i mean, no sun as california, no beautiful beaches...
New mexico and arizona are OK.
And for ending, the center, colorado and utah,but i dont like it, because it seems desert.
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Old 04-10-2007, 08:48 AM
25 posts, read 128,086 times
Reputation: 19
We know how you're--all of you--feeling! Our children are either through college, or almost; we're in a good position, at last, job-wise. (We can work from anywhere now.) You'd think we'd know exactly where we want to go next, after too many dreary years in Delaware. But no!

We've thought of California, but where we'd like to settle in that state isn't affordable. We've thought of the Pacific Northwest, but when we get right down to it, we're not tolerant of endless gray drizzle. We've thought of Vermont, but that beautiful state has only one or two areas we'd consider, and we've found some downsides to those areas. Also, Vermont is about as far from any family as we can be, and we love family!

For a time, Colorado was high on the list, but it does seem that you have to live in the mountains or you're, essentially, living in desert. Flat, dry. Also, can anyone tell me of a city (smaller than Denver) where one can live and find--now that we're middleaged!--really good medical care? Along with all the other things you might imagine we'd find desirable.

Like Golden1, we never thought we'd consider the upper midwest, but the Madison area is beckoning. (Also like Golden, we considered North Carolina, but were put off by several things, including the burgeoning population exactly where we'd want to live.) We know about Wisconsin weather, but that's not too much of a problem for us. Greater Madison seems great for people with our interests and enthusiasms, good health care, and we have some family in nearby states. I guess I should go to the Wisconsin board to ask some specifics, but meanwhile--opinions anyone?
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Old 09-15-2010, 02:24 PM
907 posts, read 1,789,177 times
Reputation: 362
now that dh can work from home, We are torn between moving closer to family (michigan) and spreading our wings and settling out west (Denver or several other places we've had in mind)

we do have kids and we'd like for our family to know them better but they live in ghetto areas so the closest we could move to them is 2 hours away. I'm not sure if anyone would bother to drive that far to see us enough to make putting our dreams on hold worth it :-(

what to do what to do...
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Old 09-15-2010, 04:15 PM
26 posts, read 39,636 times
Reputation: 41
I never gave much thought to where I really wanted to live until recently. I moved around when I was a kid and my family is scattered all over, so I never had ties to any one area. The only ties I come close to having are in Chicago, which is where both my parents are from and all my extended family lives. I recently got divorced, and decided that I wanted to be close to family but I didn't want to move to Chicago as I'm not a fan of big cities. I decided that I wanted to move to Michigan as I love it there and it is close to Chicago, but there are small towns on lakes. ...I think if you are looking for a place to live, perhaps start out thinking what's important to you and then look for cities that meet that criteria. Best of luck to you!
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