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Old 04-08-2007, 08:29 AM
 
Location: Deep In The Heat Of Texas
2,639 posts, read 2,462,495 times
Reputation: 700

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dingler View Post
People are really not that busy. That is used as an excuse. People would not be spending so much time on the Internet or watching TV. Actually the amount of time people spend looking at a screen is at an all time high. People have time in most cases.... they just do not enjoy talking to their neighbors, or feel that their neighbors do not like talking to them, so they give space.

I do not think people are really that busy, there is just a change in society in many communities where people only choose to interact with just a select group of people, and spend the rest of their time looking in a screen.

I talk to my friends about this and they feel it is part of the breakdown in society but working class neighborhoods are generally more friendly.

Are there any old fashioned neighborhoods out there where people enjoy talking to each other?
I do agree with you that people are not all that busy and I, for one, spend much too much time on this computer. I have tons of other things I should be doing, but....well, no excuse....I'm just not doing what I need to be right now.

Anyway, I talk all day at work to teachers and middle school students and when I arrive home in the evening, I do not want to talk anymore. I close my front door and literally say out loud, "Ahhh, peace and quiet." While sitting in my backyard, I also want peach and quiet and not have to visit with bored neighbors. I may feel differently one day when I'm retired but until that day comes, I like it now the way it is.

I do have many good neighbors and I know they are there for me if I need them or I am there for them, but we all pretty much like our solitude.

When I first moved into this neighborhood 20 years ago, I was a baking fool at Christmas time. I baked plates of cookies for many of the neighbors and really got very little response from any of them as far as wanting to be friendly. So much for Texas southern hospitality. They are the Texans; I'm just a transplant. Oh well, that's okay because now I want my quiet time more often than, I guess, most people do.
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Old 04-08-2007, 08:37 AM
 
Location: Old Town Alexandria
14,505 posts, read 23,786,134 times
Reputation: 8838
Default good post-

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dingler View Post
I have lived in four different quiet neighborhoods in Northern Virginia in the last 20 years and each one is more unfriendly than the next. Do not expect southern hospitality in Northern VA (with rare exceptions). This area is no longer the south, but instead reminds me of New Jersey.

I do talk to long term residents of the area and they miss the southern hospitality of the "good old days" when people would meet out in their yards and talk about what ever came to their minds. You knew all your neighbors and many were friends. I have not lived in a neighborhood like that since the 1970s in MN.

Is there any place like that left outside small towns in America? Or has being a friendly neighbor something from the past? Has everyone retreated to a life of looking in a screen all day (cell phone, IPODS, PC and TV) What would you like in a next door neighbor?
Dingler- It sounds like the neighborhood my Mom grew up in- everyone talked over the fence; people had parties; people interacted. (NY suburbs in the 60's and 70's)

In some sense- some people are just busy, but in probably a higher percentage- it is the way society is (unfortunately) People keep to themselves more. Although here in Tenn, my neighbor made a point to bring cookie and send Christmas cards. I am sure if we had kids- there would be more interaction.

I know exactly what you mean though, and I guess there are some areas wher people are friendlier, if you are lucky to find it.

sunny
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Old 04-08-2007, 10:15 AM
 
Location: Vero Beach, Fl
2,949 posts, read 12,183,823 times
Reputation: 2075
We are a small community of 9 homes within a major community. We know everyone in our neighborhood. We talk to everyone and vise versa. We are more friendly with 3 of our neighbors - we pick up each others mail, help each other, have drinks, dine out on occasion. So, I think we are fortunate.
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Old 04-08-2007, 10:42 AM
 
833 posts, read 4,457,302 times
Reputation: 970
Default neighborly in southern Virginia

I guess we lucked out in this neighborhood. We live in Chesapeake, VA (southeast VA) in a newer neighborhood with about 88 houses. We have impromptu dinners and happy hours in our driveways. We have superbowl parties with each other, babysit each others kids, watch each others' dogs while on vacation, etc. It's a very friendly neighborhood. Just recently my neighbor came over to our house to babysit on Sunday night from 10:30pm until 12:30am so my husband could pick me up from the airport without having to bring our toddlers along in the middle of the night. She just came over in her robe and brought her book. And I would gladly do the same for her. Kids are always out playing, riding bikes. Adults are always out gardening. We often have hour long conversations in the front yard while taking walks or out in the driveway with our kids. We have a very tightly knit neighborhood that I'm hoping we will find again when we move sometime in the next year. I'd love to be able to pick up the whole neighborhood and move it with me!
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Old 04-08-2007, 11:20 AM
 
1,501 posts, read 5,191,034 times
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Always lived in neighborhoods before where people were just flat out happier - it showed just on their faces and in their attitudes. The South, a couple of Florida towns, Chicago and a suburb north of it....
Where we are now, people are just miserable. If you're not complaining or badmouthing somebody, you just don't fit in. Can't have anything in common, they only want to brag about what they're buying and how much it costs.

I know people aren't overwhelmed with "busy" as much as they say they are because my own family brushes off phone calls simply because they're just not in the mood. Have been right there with them while they lied about being "busy". And 10 times out of 10, it's some re-run on TV or a DVD.

That stupid TV and the movies will always be there, yet they'll be crying over a coffin when the person's gone. This is why I'll always make sure to always let a person be the first to cut me off, call it superstition, I guess (and 100% of the time, it works out that way.)
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Old 04-08-2007, 03:45 PM
 
Location: Wi for the summer--Vegas in the winter
653 posts, read 3,133,672 times
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Is there not an old saying..."good fences make for good neighbors"?? Here in Las Vegas it's more like cinder block walls. Comming from a small Midwestern town, one always knew their neighbors. I do miss that out here. Most folks here don't have a clue who even lives next door to them!!
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Old 04-08-2007, 03:51 PM
 
321 posts, read 1,422,273 times
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Interesting thread. There are so many posts about people wanting to be in a friendlier place, where should they move where they'll fit in, be accepted, etc. Yet the sense of community keeps disappearing in our cities and towns. New subdivisions go up without sidewalks, making it difficult to even take a walk down the street. There are decks out back for privacy, but a lack of front porches so you can see the neighbors. Garages are in front of the house, so you drive into your driveway, into the garage and walk directly into the house. It seems to have gotten very hard to be neighborly.
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Old 04-08-2007, 05:00 PM
 
192 posts, read 798,418 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dingler View Post
People are really not that busy. That is used as an excuse. ... People have time in most cases.... they just do not enjoy talking to their neighbors, or feel that their neighbors do not like talking to them, so they give space.

I do not think people are really that busy, there is just a change in society in many communities where people only choose to interact with just a select group of people, and spend the rest of their time looking in a screen.
Dingler, I suspect that from your assertion that "people are really not that busy", you are probably a single person in your twenties. Perhaps still in college, so not working a 9-5 job yet. If/when you are at a point in your life where you must juggle a fulltime job of 35 or more hours a week, and commuting time, and time that must be devoted to a spouse or partner and/or children, and have a list of things that you must do to maintain your home and property and somehow squeeze in time for whatever hobbies or interests that you find enjoyable.... You may then realize that for many many adults between the ages of 30 and 60something, there are usually NOT enough hours in any given day or week or month to accommodate all the day in/day out demands of life nowadays and still have time to spare for much of anything else.

While I do agree with you that many people (myself included) do choose to keep their homes and yards as a private sanctuary and retreat from the rest of the world, there is nothing "wrong" with anyone feeling that way. That doesn't have anything to do with society in general. If society has changed at all in that respect, I think it's for the better: There is more acceptance nowadays of people's individual preferences now than there was in the 40s and 50s, when to behave differently from the accepted social norm was always stigmatized.
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Old 04-08-2007, 08:49 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
4,486 posts, read 15,290,033 times
Reputation: 3936
I tend to feel that more people are keeping to themselves nowadays. There really isn't anything wrong with that as I see it. And yes, people ARE busy. When you work a full time job and come home at 5 or 6, you usually don't feel like going to your neighbor's house.

A few times my neighbor's have asked me "Hey Chris, want to come over tonight for supper/ play cards/ etc?" If it's Mon-Thurs I usually will politely refuse. I'd rather relax at home and usually I try to get a little bit of work done at night. I go out on Friday and Saturday night but I just don't feel like it during the work week.

Sometimes people who have time on their hands seem to think that everyone else is in the same boat. You can be friendly but people do have their own busy lives.
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Old 04-08-2007, 11:02 PM
 
Location: Alabama!
5,849 posts, read 15,948,749 times
Reputation: 4348
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sharon R. View Post
New subdivisions go up without sidewalks, making it difficult to even take a walk down the street. There are decks out back for privacy, but a lack of front porches so you can see the neighbors. Garages are in front of the house, so you drive into your driveway, into the garage and walk directly into the house. It seems to have gotten very hard to be neighborly.
Sharon, you are so right...I think sidewalks make a HUGE difference. We lived in an old neighborhood with sidewalks on both sides of the street and knew all our neighbors in our block, and many more throughout. Our front porch was big enough to party on...we'd sit out there in the afternoon and read the newspaper and wave a folks. Then we moved to a neighborhood with no sidewalks. People walk for exercise, but they have to walk out in the street so they don't want to linger. It also seems people drive into their garage, close the door and you never see them. They don't mow the grass...lawn services do that. I miss our old neighborhood!
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