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Old 04-08-2007, 06:20 AM
 
Location: VA
786 posts, read 4,318,782 times
Reputation: 1107

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I have lived in four different quiet neighborhoods in Northern Virginia in the last 20 years and each one is more unfriendly than the next. Do not expect southern hospitality in Northern VA (with rare exceptions). This area is no longer the south, but instead reminds me of New Jersey.

I do talk to long term residents of the area and they miss the southern hospitality of the "good old days" when people would meet out in their yards and talk about what ever came to their minds. You knew all your neighbors and many were friends. I have not lived in a neighborhood like that since the 1970s in MN.

Is there any place like that left outside small towns in America? Or has being a friendly neighbor something from the past? Has everyone retreated to a life of looking in a screen all day (cell phone, IPODS, PC and TV) What would you like in a next door neighbor?
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Old 04-08-2007, 06:40 AM
 
Location: NJ/SC
4,286 posts, read 13,391,713 times
Reputation: 2593
I just moved to SC and my neighbors are incredible. The week we moved in they brought us a cake, offered to help us move and brought us fresh caught shrimp. Since then they have watched our fish and got our mail when we went away. We have over an acre and haven't purchased a ride on lawn mower yet, yesterday I looked out the window and my neighbor was cutting my grass! I would be happy with a smile, a wave and some kind words once in awhile but it's really nice to have neighbors that go above and beyond.
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Old 04-08-2007, 07:15 AM
 
Location: Hell
606 posts, read 533,593 times
Reputation: 85
I know nobody in my neighborhood,that's why I spent all my time with screens....just like you described
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Old 04-08-2007, 07:21 AM
 
192 posts, read 798,031 times
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I don't think it depends entirely on area, but on a combination of personal preference and how busy people's lives are. First, not everyone wants to interact with their neighbours past the occasional wave-hello in passing, or maybe 10 minutes of idle chitchat once in a while (meaning months or weeks, not days). Privacy (not intruding on others, and not being intruded upon by others) is very important to many people.

Also, most people I know have so much on their plate already with work and family and whatever their interests or hobbies are, that there literally is no time to do the "neighbourly chat over the fence" thing.

I have lived in my present home for five years and have met only two of my five neighbours; I know them by first names only. We may see each other in our yards a few times a year and stop to chat for a few moments but that's it. That is pretty much the norm where I live (a suburb of a major city) and it's not considered being "cold" or "unfriendly"... just adults going about their typical busy lives.
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Old 04-08-2007, 07:50 AM
 
Location: Hell
606 posts, read 533,593 times
Reputation: 85
windflower,my neighborhood may be similar with yours. But I don't feel comfortable with it.Since I want to get to know more people,sadly,I know very few people,even in my neighborhood.
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Old 04-08-2007, 07:53 AM
 
Location: VA
786 posts, read 4,318,782 times
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Default I do not think people are that busy

People are really not that busy. That is used as an excuse. People would not be spending so much time on the Internet or watching TV. Actually the amount of time people spend looking at a screen is at an all time high. People have time in most cases.... they just do not enjoy talking to their neighbors, or feel that their neighbors do not like talking to them, so they give space.

I do not think people are really that busy, there is just a change in society in many communities where people only choose to interact with just a select group of people, and spend the rest of their time looking in a screen.

I talk to my friends about this and they feel it is part of the breakdown in society but working class neighborhoods are generally more friendly.

Are there any old fashioned neighborhoods out there where people enjoy talking to each other?
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Old 04-08-2007, 08:02 AM
 
Location: Long Beach, CA
2,072 posts, read 11,077,623 times
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Good thread. I know my neighbors by first name only. Where I work, it's constant communication - noise, phones, people. When I get home at the end of the day, I cherish my quiet time and isolation.
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Old 04-08-2007, 08:12 AM
 
Location: Hell
606 posts, read 533,593 times
Reputation: 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dingler View Post
People are really not that busy. That is used as an excuse. People would not be spending so much time on the Internet or watching TV. Actually the amount of time people spend looking at a screen is at an all time high. People have time in most cases.... they just do not enjoy talking to their neighbors, or feel that their neighbors do not like talking to them, so they give space.

I do not think people are really that busy, there is just a change in society in many communities where people only choose to interact with just a select group of people, and spend the rest of their time looking in a screen.

I talk to my friends about this and they feel it is part of the breakdown in society but working class neighborhoods are generally more friendly.

Are there any old fashioned neighborhoods out there where people enjoy talking to each other?
Yeah,you don't know which neighbor is willing to talk to you and know you.
I know a lot of people are eager to know more people,but it's difficult.
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Old 04-08-2007, 08:16 AM
 
Location: on an island
13,382 posts, read 40,909,074 times
Reputation: 13245
The fabric of a community can be a wonderful thing, but if the chemistry is not there, it just ain't gonna happen. You can encourage it, but you can't force it.

Our old block in Denver was really, really tight. We had block parties and progressive dinners all the time. But we just happened to all get along really well. I think part of it was that almost all of us were dog owners. That block was seething with Labs.
It was a golden time for many years, but then one couple got pregnant and moved, then we moved. I heard it's not quite the same there anymore, though of course people still do get together.

I am hoping to develop new friendships in our future home, but while I am optimistic, I am also realistic. I will do my best to strike up friendships and create opportunities to cement relationships, but people are either interested, or they're not.
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Old 04-08-2007, 08:17 AM
j33
 
4,625 posts, read 12,864,128 times
Reputation: 1668
I know some of my neighbors by first name only, but I don't know most of my neighbors (and there are 2-3 households on my street that don't really speak English, so they are a bit harder to get to know). I do know the people who live in my building fairly well (as in I know there names, a bit about there life, etc). But then again, I'm the sort of person who slips Christmas cards under their door and because our mail deliverer is an idiot, we all get each other's mail and exchange it and chit chat when we do.

Sadly though, one of my neighbors hates my landlord and is a complete duplicitous nutcase, so I wish I didn't know her.

Growing up most of the families on our street knew each other quite well. I knew most of the people on our street, and people would watch out for each other.
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