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Old 06-25-2009, 09:15 AM
 
10,630 posts, read 23,410,475 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DazsGirl View Post
Thanks for all the feedback everyone!
I do attend college, Purdue university to be more specific, and if you are familier with this school there are a lot of international students. It may sound really odd to people but I have never seen so many Asians! From k-12 I had all white friends, and it just seems in college (this one anyway) people approach me less or are much less likely to befriend me. I honestly don't feel connected with anything but American culture or Western in general, I'm sure some people would like to say thats some kinda of betrayal to my own culture. But may I ask what defines a person? Is it my face? Is it because I look Asian and my family is Asian that I MUST like it more than the place I'm actually from?

I mean is it necessary to have to "stick with my own kind" for me to feel better about myself? I have no problem with the way I look or what my background is, I just simply don't understand why other people do.
No, of course not, and I don't think the vast majority of people do have assumptions based on your background. I still wonder if perhaps you're overreacting, or are labeling your appearance as the reason people aren't approaching you when it's really something else (like just the shift that comes from moving out of high school and then into college, especially a large university). The issue seems to be more your own personal internal pressures or fears, rather than external issues. I don't know what to suggest about that, other than to say that you'll probably continue to make friends and find your niche in school and in life. It sounds like you're just having the concerns that many other college students face, but in your case it has the added veneer of the ethnicity issue. Sure, there are some racist or xenophobic people out there, but I think they're the minority.
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Old 06-25-2009, 10:24 AM
 
Location: US Empire, Pac NW
5,008 posts, read 10,790,623 times
Reputation: 4125
Quote:
Originally Posted by DazsGirl View Post
Thanks for all the feedback everyone!
I do attend college, Purdue university to be more specific, and if you are familier with this school there are a lot of international students. It may sound really odd to people but I have never seen so many Asians! From k-12 I had all white friends, and it just seems in college (this one anyway) people approach me less or are much less likely to befriend me. I honestly don't feel connected with anything but American culture or Western in general, I'm sure some people would like to say thats some kinda of betrayal to my own culture. But may I ask what defines a person? Is it my face? Is it because I look Asian and my family is Asian that I MUST like it more than the place I'm actually from?

I mean is it necessary to have to "stick with my own kind" for me to feel better about myself? I have no problem with the way I look or what my background is, I just simply don't understand why other people do.

Hail Old Purdue, go Boilermakers! (I attended Purdue from 1999-2003). I wonder how the campus has changed, the construction was ridiculous when I was there! I also want to see the new home of Aero Engineering. Do they still have the "condom" on the engineering waterfountain?


I think that going to a large Big 10 university like Purdue, where there are more than 30,000 students, is going to naturally have you approached less because it is like a town in itself. You're also going to have people approach you less because you're in the reserved Midwest and people tend to keep to themselves. Combine that with the fact that everyone's young and new to college (at least freshmen) and so everyone's really shy at first, and for most this is the first time they are "on their own". Give it half a year. Also, just wait until the fall semester. Are you there in the summer? I was there for a summer session between co-ops and man, it is d-e-a-d. This can further reinforce your feeling of isolation because there's much fewer students around and most clubs are off for the summer.

My advice to you is join some clubs, maybe some intramurals, or study groups in your classes, etc. once the fall semester starts. In the summer, just get to know your classmates really.

International students from East Asia and India are very common at Purdue, you're right. Many international students are going to be reserved and shy because they may have reservations about their english skills, or are following the old work ethic and keeping to themselves. They may also avoid interacting with you because an American-born Asian person will act more American, so basically you will "confuse" them. Some are kinda nasty about it too, calling such people "twinkies" ... "yellow" on the outside, "white" on the inside. But those people are thankfully in the minority. It still doesn't alleviate apprehensions though. I'd say it's up to you to take the initiative.

Taking the initiative is sort of a rite of passage too for adults. WHen you're a kid, you rarely took the initiative as your parents usually asked what sort of activities you wanted to do, where you wanted to go, took you places, etc. SO there's very few "on your own" experiences. Now it's your turn. Good luck!
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Old 06-25-2009, 10:29 AM
 
Location: Interior alaska
6,381 posts, read 12,262,177 times
Reputation: 3471
Quote:
Originally Posted by DazsGirl View Post
Hey everyone, I've just always wanted to know if people can tell which Asians are from America and which ones are FOB (fresh off the boat).

I'm just curious since I'm from Indiana, and I feel like I dress differently from Asians who werent born here (international students, etc), and was wondering if the way you dress and your actions make you American or if it doesnt matter because my face is still Asian and will always be lumped into a group.

Please dont be mean and say things like "all Asians look alike."

In almost all cases (there are exceptions) the second they open their mouth and talk the accent will sell them out. Most people that grow up here don't have a foreign accent, unless the are doing it intentionally like "ebonics", which in that case they are just being stupd and limiting their chances to be gainfully employed.
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Old 06-25-2009, 12:19 PM
 
Location: Both coasts
1,582 posts, read 4,288,128 times
Reputation: 1447
Quote:
Originally Posted by DazsGirl View Post
Thanks for all the feedback everyone!
I do attend college, Purdue university to be more specific, and if you are familier with this school there are a lot of international students. It may sound really odd to people but I have never seen so many Asians! From k-12 I had all white friends, and it just seems in college (this one anyway) people approach me less or are much less likely to befriend me. I honestly don't feel connected with anything but American culture or Western in general, I'm sure some people would like to say thats some kinda of betrayal to my own culture. But may I ask what defines a person? Is it my face? Is it because I look Asian and my family is Asian that I MUST like it more than the place I'm actually from?

I mean is it necessary to have to "stick with my own kind" for me to feel better about myself? I have no problem with the way I look or what my background is, I just simply don't understand why other people do.
hi DazsGirl, i think you should take up the opportunity to do a semester-long exchange program to a college in California or Seattle. I may or may not be biased, but I believe every Asian-American should eventually invest time in California, if you grew up in a part of the country where you were not exposed to Asian-American subcultures outside yr home.

I believe even in a few-month-span, your perspective on things may change. I can somewhat relate to some of your experiences when i was your age, as an Asian-American, but I grew up in suburban communities of the West Coast which are indeed much more exposed to Asian-American influences than Indiana.

You should by no means feel you should 'stick to your kind'- from what i've read, your 'kind' in the context of your school is not the same as you anyway- they are mainly international students. that's why I recommend you consider an exchange program, you'd be surprised how different things can be in a different part of the country.

Last edited by f1000; 06-25-2009 at 12:35 PM..
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Old 06-25-2009, 03:43 PM
 
Location: Austin, TX
1,528 posts, read 5,712,157 times
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Well Its not so much the way they dress.
But their Hair ... lol
Asian Asians have longer hair, especially the guys, and they have their hair done in this special ways.
This goes in particular for the Chinese, Koreans, and Japanese.
Besides that I can't distinguish any difference.
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Old 06-25-2009, 04:41 PM
 
Location: Seattle
1,366 posts, read 2,928,421 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by f1000 View Post
hi DazsGirl, i think you should take up the opportunity to do a semester-long exchange program to a college in California or Seattle. I may or may not be biased, but I believe every Asian-American should eventually invest time in California, if you grew up in a part of the country where you were not exposed to Asian-American subcultures outside yr home.

I believe even in a few-month-span, your perspective on things may change. I can somewhat relate to some of your experiences when i was your age, as an Asian-American, but I grew up in suburban communities of the West Coast which are indeed much more exposed to Asian-American influences than Indiana.
I completely agree with this. I think it's something you should seriously consider. As a white individual, my entire perspective of Asians, Asian-Americans (and all the many subcultures associated with this) and Asian culture changed dramatically. Talking to people from very recent immigrants (think just arrived here months ago) to people who came here 10-15 years ago to people who were born here...they all basically say that the Asian dynamic is radically different in California (mainly LA and SF but also SD too) than anywhere else in the country (possibly excepting Seattle and parts of NYC).
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Old 06-25-2009, 04:43 PM
 
1,263 posts, read 3,546,295 times
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LOL. You can immediately tell them apart when they start to speak English. I am a non-American born Asian, and I know that no matter how hard I try, somebody can still tell my English has a strong accent. This is so easy. As the look goes, I think Asian girls newly to America (China, Japan and Korea) like to wear colorful, cute little dresses, more of a Juicy Couture style, but much lower end and lots of varieties that are generally popular in Japan and hard to find in stores like Macy's, while American born Asians are more causual and urban and into Jeans. Like somebody posted earlier, Asians not born in America like to have their hairs done in different ways, both girls and guys. This thing is just so popular and can be found everywhere in Asia, and not expensive. This is generally speaking though. Some international students, especially those who came for their PhDs, worked very hard in their home country and some of them don't necessarily have a personal style. They just put whatever fits on their backs.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DazsGirl View Post
Hey everyone, I've just always wanted to know if people can tell which Asians are from America and which ones are FOB (fresh off the boat).

I'm just curious since I'm from Indiana, and I feel like I dress differently from Asians who werent born here (international students, etc), and was wondering if the way you dress and your actions make you American or if it doesnt matter because my face is still Asian and will always be lumped into a group.

Please dont be mean and say things like "all Asians look alike."

Last edited by fashionguy; 06-25-2009 at 05:02 PM..
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Old 06-26-2009, 07:23 AM
 
Location: Philadelphia,New Jersey, NYC!
6,967 posts, read 18,206,495 times
Reputation: 2641
Quote:
and it just seems in college (this one anyway) people approach me less or are much less likely to befriend me.
join a sorority
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Old 06-26-2009, 11:42 AM
 
Location: Bothell, Washington
2,701 posts, read 4,668,795 times
Reputation: 3672
I am a caucasian American and my wife is Chinese, she is a permanent resident who came here 5 years ago. We live in a college town so there are a fair number of Asians, and we can usually always tell the difference. As others have mentioned, the Asian-Americans will tend to dress more like typical Americans with jeans, flip-flops, etc. and tend to be more tan. However the Asians from Asia (FOB's) tend to dress "nicer" for going out to do more mundane things such as grocery shopping (nice dresses, high heels, etc.), and their clothing styles will often be more of what is big back home than what is popular here.
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Old 06-26-2009, 09:46 PM
 
Location: Macao
15,945 posts, read 36,149,597 times
Reputation: 9478
Quote:
Originally Posted by DazsGirl View Post
Hey everyone, I've just always wanted to know if people can tell which Asians are from America and which ones are FOB (fresh off the boat).

I'm just curious since I'm from Indiana, and I feel like I dress differently from Asians who werent born here (international students, etc), and was wondering if the way you dress and your actions make you American or if it doesnt matter because my face is still Asian and will always be lumped into a group.

Please dont be mean and say things like "all Asians look alike."
I'm white, but I've been teaching English in Asia for years - around ten years.

I can really tell who is Korean, who is Japanese, who is Chinese, who is Filipina, and on and on. Right away can tell.

Additionally, most of that time abroad I was living in Seoul in Korea, so met TONS of 'kyopo' - i.e. Korean-AMericans and Korean-Canadians. They seemed to be drastically different depending on where they came from in North America. They were often in Seoul trying to study Korean and having their 'korea experience with the homeland'.

From my observations, the Seattle ones were VERY well-adjusted people. Canadian-Asians were as well. Chicago and Midwest ones were also fine. New York ones seemed to be much more ambitious than any other ones by far. The ones that most stood out were the L.A. kyopos (korean-americans). From L.A., they just tended to be thugs and wanted to fight all of the time. They were the ones easiest and quickest to recognize. They also had a ton of racial hangups. Whenever I've met Asian-Americans from the other areas, they were always really cool, but had to watch your back around L.A. ones. I always like NY-Asian Americans the best, by far, now that I think about it.

Anyways, having lived in Seoul for so long, I could also quickly recognize a Japanese person in the crowd of Koreans immediately. (I'm now living in Japan, by the way).

But anyways, they are really easy to tell the difference. I was just thinking of this one time in Seoul when I couldn't find this one expat bar that I knew all foreigners and kyopos would know. All I could see were Korean people absolutely everywhere, but this one in the crowd...he just walked a little different, wore his hat just a little different, I went immediately to him, asked him in English if he knew the bar, and he just about jumped out of his skin that I'd quickly identified him as the Korean-American among all the Koreans in the crowd - as I think he thought he 'blended in', and he kinda did ethnically, but he kinda didn't either - clothes, attitude, way you carry yourself, etc.
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