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Old 04-17-2007, 11:09 AM
 
Location: Grafton, Ohio
286 posts, read 1,479,771 times
Reputation: 164

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First, you need to take into account what has already been mentioned; lack of discipline. There are too many parents that want to be their child's "friend" instead of their parent. I'm sorry, but I clearly remember not liking my father growing up because of his "dumb rules." Parents are not suppose to be their kids' friend growing up, they are there to guide them into becoming an adult. Then, after all is said and done, the friendship can start once the child has matured into an adult. You also have too many voices coming in telling parents how they can and can't instill obedience in the home. Spanking is now considered "abuse;" yet, how many of us were spanked as children? How did we turn out? There is a gray area between abuse and physical discipline, and I agree that there are some people that do not know the difference. However, having spanking at a younger age represents *consequences* for one's actions in a way that a young child can understand. A young child does not understand "Tommy, that wasn't nice, don't do it again or you will go to your room." It is not an immediate reaction or consequence.

Secondly, BOREDOM... So many young people thru young adults have nothing better to do than cause trouble. In past years, kids were a vital part of the home operation - chores, helping around the home, keeping with the younger kids. My father can clearly remember working out on his grandfather's farm as early as age 5, helping with the livestock, farming, house chores, etc. He worked in the fields as a teenager and was expected to pay his own way as a young adult. He didn't have time to get into trouble, but he KNEW the consequences if he did. I personally was expected to help around the home, but not nearly to the same extent as he did at the same age. Young people now (and I am included in this age group, 20's and younger), for the most part, have not been expected to pay their own way. They do not know what it is like to get a hard day's work in, nor do they know how to get their hands dirty. They grew up with the tv as a babysitter, did not do much around hte home, and had very loose consequences.

This has resulted in what we see.... case in point, my father's step family (I personally will not acknowledge ties with them) is a prime example. The mother, born into a family that had the start of dysfunction - too many kids, too little income, questionable things happening. She remembers having chores and hating it - therefore, her children won't have chores ever. She was spanked and hated - therefore, her children wouldn't be physically disciplined. She wanted to be her children's friend. She never followed through on any consequences. Her oldest, now 23, "graduated" high school with a passing grade of D average. He didn't like homework or attending class, so she said it was ok that he didn't do either. He has just finally learned he can't drive because he has had too many DUIs, but it only took several trips to jail and several vehicle impounds before he 'got' it. The next oldest, now 22, dropped out around 13, was picked up for grand theft auto at 14 (because he was bored), knocked up his girlfriend at age 16, and has yet to become any sort of productive member to society, as been arrested several times for random acts of lawlessness (including firing a shot at my husband with a stolen handgun), yet, is "raising" two children of his own (great role model there). The third is still only 16, she is barely in school, is very violently abusive if asked to do anything by my father (has pulled a knife, kicks, hits, screams, etc), sneaks out on a regular basis, is a habitual liar, and overall, is exactly what her mother dearest has conditioned her to be. Meanwhile, all children disrepect their own mother on a regular basis by cussing at her, screaming at her, or costing her huge $$ (court fees, cell phone bills, etc). I already see this cycle repeating itself in the grandchildren and it will continue, and when asked why they do what they do, the answer is BOREDOM / Nothing better to do! There are so many families that are in this rut, and it will take down our country if it doesn't stop.

I have a hard time blaming the actions of young people on violent shows or games, but I do think some strains of "music" glorifies these actions. Europe has everything available that we have available, including availability of drugs and alcohol, but they do not have the issues we have. I think it roots from the break up of family values and expectations, the lack of consequences at an early age, and the huge availability of guns coupled with the glorification of use of those guns.
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Old 04-17-2007, 11:36 AM
 
Location: Southern Oregon
112 posts, read 654,136 times
Reputation: 121
Arrow School Shootings

It's crazy to think where our schools are going and how quickly safety seems to be circling the drain. I graduated from highschool 7 years ago. Columbine was fresh in everyone's minds, but we never had worries at my highschool of about 1500 students. There was also a shooting in Eugene, a few years before Columbine at a highschool that hit closer to home, but wasn't in the news as much because it wasn't as "big a story" meaning not as many deaths, however still equally tragic. Last year, there was a school shooting at my former highschool. No one was killed, which is probably why it didn't make national news, but it still woke up a sleeping community that thought it could never happen to them. I was in the army, I spent a year in Iraq, and have been exposed to the violence of combat and war, yet I still can't fathom how anyone could justify taking a gun or other weapon on a campus with the intent of killing as many people as possible. I don't know what this behavior should be blamed on, or if its a collection of different things all wrapped together that creates this behavior. I know I could never do such a thing, and I'd also like to think that the people I know would not be capable of such things, but I guess we've all been surprised before, and we'll be shocked again. Very sad. My prayers go out to all those affected by this tragedy.
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Old 04-18-2007, 02:49 PM
 
Location: North Dakota Farm
322 posts, read 1,135,574 times
Reputation: 171
Quote:
Originally Posted by mystree66 View Post
It just seems school violence as a whole is up. School used to be safe haven back in the day. If someone had a problem with someone they would meet at the kickball field,throw a few fisty cuffs and be done with it.Now you read about kids carrying guns,knives and razor blades.What has changed so drastically between when I was a kid in school in the 80's to now?
In my opinion.....they promote violence then expect kids NOT to act it out. Do as I say..not as I do??? Video games, movies, TV shows, music lyrics & videos.... it's all promoted. You see the best brought up kids that just hang out with the wrong crowd and everything changes. I think alot of it nowadays too is not accepting responsiblity. The schools don't want to be responsible, the parents don't want to be responsible, the kids don't want to be responsible...no one wants to accept responsibility.
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Old 04-18-2007, 03:30 PM
 
Location: Pikeville, Ky.
13,575 posts, read 21,734,191 times
Reputation: 18131
School violence is up. It has been going up as fast as society is going to the dumps..I have been around a few years so am a pretty good observer of why..
When I went to school, we were told to mind the teacher, we did because the teacher was an adult and we had to respect that.
When I went to school, and disobeyed the rules, the punishment in the principals office was nothing compared to what we would get at home.
When I went to school and fell off the swing and cried, the teacher could give me a hug and make me feel better.
When I went to school the teacher began the day with a prayer, bible story, and we all stood with hands over hearts and said the Pledge..
When I went to school our Senior trips had to be educational.
When my grades dropped, it was not the schools fault.
When the school day was over, I knew that Mom would be waiting at home for me.
Why schools are not safe today is not hard for me to figure out!!
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Old 04-19-2007, 06:29 AM
 
Location: Fly-over country.
1,765 posts, read 6,383,902 times
Reputation: 912
School violence is down.
The 24 hour news cycle and instant relay of information between people makes it seem worse.

I know it seems worse with the VT shootings this week, but it's not.

Just research the numbers for yourself.
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Old 04-19-2007, 12:48 PM
 
Location: The 12th State
22,974 posts, read 58,642,963 times
Reputation: 14932
I am noticing a flux of school lock downs since the Virginia Tech tradegy. A student brought a gun on outside of a local high school campus then later shot himself here in carolina's and I know I saw on news 4 other lockdowns and now cnn is currently broadcasting a lock down in van nuys california.
.
Guns have been around for a long time and everyone probably knew someone had a gun when we was younger in 70's and 80's when hunting was more popular, but the idea of school shootings was just unheard of.
Cops and security on school system was just unheard of. Violence existed but it usually involve a bloody nose.


I have to agree with above posters it really about parents and discipline
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Old 04-19-2007, 04:02 PM
 
Location: Deep In The Heat Of Texas
2,639 posts, read 2,464,683 times
Reputation: 700
[quote=cold_eh_ND;595968]In my opinion.....they promote violence then expect kids NOT to act it out. Do as I say..not as I do??? Video games, movies, TV shows, music lyrics & videos.... it's all promoted. You see the best brought up kids that just hang out with the wrong crowd and everything changes. I think alot of it nowadays too is not accepting responsiblity. The schools don't want to be responsible, the parents don't want to be responsible, the kids don't want to be responsible...no one wants to accept responsibility.


You are so right. It seems that today's youth are being enabled and therefore, they haven't a clue as to what responsibility means.

And all the violence. Oh my gosh. Some parents are absolutely oblivious to what their children are doing. Why do they allow them to spend hours in front of the computer or television? Violent video games, violent movies, sex everywhere, myspace.com. Wake up adults. Yes, even your child may be guilty of some things of which you wouldn't imagine he or she is doing, singing, watching, posting, etc.

The best kids don't even have to hang out with the wrong crowd as even they are clueless as to why a song with the f word in it is wrong and they have no problem singing it in front of a teacher. Honestly, it is happening and the "good" kids are clueless, not all of them but way too many.

I know many of you will remember the good days when we folded paper, numbered the top of the the little squares, and moved the folded "game" with our thumb and forefinger? The other child would then choose a written section that would be worded with fun things like:

You will have 5 kids when you grow up.
You will marry when you're 25.
You will be a millionaire.
You will flunk your math test.
You like John Myers.

I confiscated the same cute game from days gone by from three boys at my school the other day, 7th graders, 11 and 12 years old. The same cute game with today's youth has changed to sick!!

You are a child screwer.
You had sex with ????????
You will marry a prostitoot. (actually spelled that way)
You play with yourself.

Need I say more?

It is absolutely heartbreaking.
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Old 04-19-2007, 05:21 PM
 
Location: Sacramento, CA
1,196 posts, read 4,343,469 times
Reputation: 606
I think the media just likes to show the bad stuff, There are still many good kids, there are just way too many generalizations. unfortunately a lot just depends on where the school is located. The media has such a horrible influence, as does american culture. It is cool to be lazy, violent etc. Kids in the inner city, and many suburbs think its cool to be gangstas, and hurt people.

I am a current high school student, and think that violence is very low in many areas. I have attended school in 2 areas, and have seen very few fights and never seen a weapon. I am in average middle class neighborhoods.
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Old 04-20-2007, 09:59 AM
 
5,642 posts, read 17,325,462 times
Reputation: 3979
In our home, we teach the kids that violence is never acceptable for a form of entertainment. Video games, violent movies, even violent cartoon kids shows are turned off in short order. It is just not acceptable to us.

You can say that I watched violent kids shows but in today's culture, why would I take that chance and let my kids watch them. Hopefully they will absorb this, although once they get out into the world you can no longer control them. Start it young I say.

I have a young relative that met a very violent end and it has definitely had an impact on how I supervise and raise my children.

And yes, I agree the "gangsta" culture that is glorified has a lot to do with young kids attitudes towards things.

And yes, the media does like to show the bad stuff, good news doesn't sell you know. Me, I like the news where the old lady just turned 100 today, or the dog rescue stories best ...
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Old 04-20-2007, 10:53 AM
 
Location: Pikeville, Ky.
13,575 posts, read 21,734,191 times
Reputation: 18131
Quote:
Originally Posted by gardener34 View Post
In our home, we teach the kids that violence is never acceptable for a form of entertainment. Video games, violent movies, even violent cartoon kids shows are turned off in short order. It is just not acceptable to us.

You can say that I watched violent kids shows but in today's culture, why would I take that chance and let my kids watch them. Hopefully they will absorb this, although once they get out into the world you can no longer control them. Start it young I say.

I have a young relative that met a very violent end and it has definitely had an impact on how I supervise and raise my children.

And yes, I agree the "gangsta" culture that is glorified has a lot to do with young kids attitudes towards t
And yes, the media does like to show the bad stuff, good news doesn't sell you know. Me, I like the news where the old lady just turned 100 today, or the dog rescue stories best ...
Hope I don't offend anyone if I say a great big "AMEN" to your post
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