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Old 04-22-2007, 10:18 PM
 
60 posts, read 47,103 times
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I'm curious -- how important is it for you to live close to your family, i.e., your parents, siblings, etc., when deciding where to live?

Because my family is very supportive and a great source of comfort to me, I've decided that I want to live fairly close to them. But on this board, it seems like I'm the exception rather than the rule.

So tell me....how much did/does proximity to your family matter regarding where you decided to live?
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Old 04-23-2007, 06:58 AM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,564 posts, read 36,545,862 times
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If you have a bad relationship with them, or no relationship at all it probably won't matter where you live or how far away from them you are. But if you are close with your family, see them frequently now and have a good relationship with them, you will just be deluding yourself if you think you won't miss them. I moved away from my friends and family thinking that it would not matter, that I could just fly back and see everybody whenever I wanted, or that I could keep in contact via email and telephone calls. We are moving back to where we came from because we miss everybody so much (there are other reasons too). When you no longer have the people you cherish in your life on a regular basis, it gets really lonely. Definitely consider how you will feel before you make that move.
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Old 04-23-2007, 07:01 AM
j33
 
4,625 posts, read 12,864,128 times
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I'm very close with my family and love to be involved in the lives of my nieces and nephews, it is one of the reasons I still live where I live, and will probably stick around for awhile.
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Old 04-23-2007, 08:16 AM
 
Location: God's Country
21,635 posts, read 30,238,989 times
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My husband and I both love our family but we are still going to move to Tennessee even though we know no one there. We don't feel like we should live our lives to please other people.
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Old 04-23-2007, 08:33 AM
j33
 
4,625 posts, read 12,864,128 times
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Oh, this is personal choice. Believe you me. There is a difference between choosing to be involved with someone's life, and enjoying that involvement, and living to please other people.
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Old 04-23-2007, 09:36 AM
 
2,775 posts, read 2,839,248 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Love2Travel View Post
I'm curious -- how important is it for you to live close to your family, i.e., your parents, siblings, etc., when deciding where to live?
Because my family is very supportive and a great source of comfort to me, I've decided that I want to live fairly close to them. But on this board, it seems like I'm the exception rather than the rule.
So tell me....how much did/does proximity to your family matter regarding where you decided to live?
I think it is important. Of course if you have an antagonistic relationship with your family/extended family, that's different - but if you want these people around your kids as they grow up, or if you value your relationship with them, then I would consider staying in the same area or region. I grew up moving around the country and then shortly after I finished college my wife and I made a couple moves.

I am personally aware that living away from extended family is not all that great. Perhaps it is something I've begun to realize as time now flies by compared to when I was younger, but seeing grandma and grandpa or any of the 1st or great aunts/uncles/cousins only on the occasional holiday is actually unfortunate. I look at the entire family trees of people that reside in proximity to each other in Fort Wayne Indiana, and I am impressed. When someone needs help (physical or emotional), someone is there. On every given weekend there's a get together someplace, either at a large ski-lake/lakehouse or at someone's house. On holidays, you have lots of adults and little kids together nearly every time.

Sure it's a rosy picture I'm painting, but I can directly speak for what it's like to be 7 hours drive from the nearest family members... after 6 years, it's kind of lonely. One set of grandparents for no real reason (financial or otherwise) won't make effort to visit their only grandkids, the one set of aunt and uncle feel no obligation to make the occasional drive out with their kid, and none of our own 1st cousins, aunts, or uncles, have even visited once. Even with my wife and I loving roadtrips and being frequent air travelers we've learned that spending all of our vacation time each year visiting relatives in other states/areas of the country is tiresome and not ideal. The largest issue is that it's not just your own vacation time which is needed, but the other party needs to commit for their's as well - or else you at most will be talking about a brief weekend visit.

We thought it would work, really tried to make it work, but the reality is that our kids are lucky to see any particular relative once a year. Is that ok? I don't really think it is something to be proud of/happy about. I do see a lot of posts by people that pretty much are doing exactly what I have done, or what my parents who traveled all over the country with their family did.

If there's some things I've learned is that 1) everyone needs to make their own mistakes and learn from them and 2) nearly everyone justifies what they have done regardless of actual outcome. 3) Lastly, each person needs to do what is right for them - mileage indeed varies.
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Old 04-23-2007, 09:39 AM
 
3,042 posts, read 8,087,759 times
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when i was single and also when i got married, it didnt matter that much so i lived far away from home, but now having a baby and being close to mom and sisters is very important to me
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Old 04-23-2007, 09:44 AM
 
2,775 posts, read 2,839,248 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by I LOVE NORTH CAROLINA View Post
My husband and I both love our family but we are still going to move to Tennessee even though we know no one there. We don't feel like we should live our lives to please other people.
Perhaps in your situation you're not all that close to your relatives, parents, siblings, or extended family members.

If you were you would realize that settling in a nearby area would not be about pleasing them, it would be about continuing to regularly share your lives together.
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Old 04-23-2007, 03:49 PM
 
Location: Missouri
6,047 posts, read 21,646,034 times
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I'm pretty close to my family, but they are all spread out. So no matter where I live, I am far apart from many others. It's really frustrating. My husband and I are relocating this summer and we'll have one relative nearby; my aunt and her husband, they'll be a bit over 2 hours away. My cousin (my aunt's daughter) is currently in the military and she is planning to move back to the area next year as well. Everyone else in the family will require a plane ride or a 20+ hour drive for visits. I would love to be near family, but my husband and I don't like where they all live.
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Old 04-23-2007, 07:39 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
4,486 posts, read 15,278,657 times
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I'm a family person and would find it difficult to live someplace where I didn't have any family nearby. We may have our arguements but at the end of the day, we're still family. You may not always be able to count on friends but your family will always be there for you.

Thank God that many cities I like and may move to someday have family nearby.
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