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Old 03-10-2010, 11:23 AM
 
Location: southern california
55,667 posts, read 74,646,551 times
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i dont know except what you have told me, which is, in ghana they do.
but i wish you good journey. remember here or there it is not their attention that gives you your worth. for me, its not attention that counts but what kind of attention.
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Old 03-10-2010, 12:14 PM
 
Location: Chicago metro
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Quote:
Lighter skin was most often associated with european features (smaller noses, "good hair", ect.). Nowadays, after several generations of race mixing, you can have dark skin with those features.
I sort of agree with you, but you don't have to mix with European to have "Caucasian" features. Ethiopian and Somali blacks can have these features and they been around forever. Afterall, human species is said to evolve in East Africa. I know African Americans aren't recent descendants of East Africa. I just want to clear that up.

Quote:
In my opinion, Beyonce isn't light enough for her complexion to fully explain her success. She is an example, though, of someone with more widely accepted physical features.
I agree that Beyonce isn't that light. She is light by black standards, but she isn't immune to turning all the way brown in the summer. She is more of a light brown. Barack Obama and maybe Tyra banks are in the same boat as well. I think light skin back in day for black people meant people like Collin Powell, Vanessa Williams, Smokey Robinson, and Soledad O'brien. High yellow and lighter was most likely the definition of light skin back in the day. The definition for light skin is subjective it seems; it depend on who you're asking and the ethnic group or "race".
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Old 03-10-2010, 02:59 PM
 
Location: Underneath the Pecan Tree
15,989 posts, read 30,691,036 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chicagoland60426 View Post
I sort of agree with you, but you don't have to mix with European to have "Caucasian" features. Ethiopian and Somali blacks can have these features and they been around forever. Afterall, human species is said to evolve in East Africa. I know African Americans aren't recent descendants of East Africa. I just want to clear that up.


I agree that Beyonce isn't that light. She is light by black standards, but she isn't immune to turning all the way brown in the summer. She is more of a light brown. Barack Obama and maybe Tyra banks are in the same boat as well. I think light skin back in day for black people meant people like Collin Powell, Vanessa Williams, Smokey Robinson, and Soledad O'brien. High yellow and lighter was most likely the definition of light skin back in the day. The definition for light skin is subjective it seems; it depend on who you're asking and the ethnic group or "race".
Vanessa Williams is about the same skin complexion as Beyonce. Tyra Banks a darker tone than both.

Beyonce is light-skinned and that's why she has as much appeal as she does. Just like Halle Berry who (imo) is completely overrated as an actress and hasn't impressed me in acting ability since Losing Isaiah; yet she is always first pick when it comes to high-profiled movies that's in need for a black woman.
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Old 03-10-2010, 06:02 PM
 
Location: That star on your map in the middle of the East Coast, DMV
3,986 posts, read 3,464,485 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jluke65780 View Post
the DMV area has LOTS of foreign-born people. DC area has like one of the largest Ghanaian populations in the country.
Agreed, DC has probably the highest percentage of Africans in a major metro of any, and so many native blacks as well. The African guys here often get rejected here by AA women because they are too "aggressive" if it ain't happen here in Chocolate City, then I can't say where else it will happen for you. Then to top that you were living in the highest educated metro area in the country i just don't see anywhere else it could be that much better. NY you have more options, but more competition, same for LA and there is more black people in DC anyway. Chicago you could try, but I doubt you will notice much difference, and the black social scene I think is a little more happening in DC. That leaves you with ATL where the young black crowd is roughly similar to that of the one in DC (Wealthy, Educated, High % of Undercover Homosexuals) so all things considered i don't see much changing for you there either.

Now if you wanna try smaller metros where they "appreciate" a black woman a little more then maybe try Charlotte or Indy or something like that, maybe thats what it would take to grab the right guys attention.
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Old 03-11-2010, 06:55 PM
 
826 posts, read 1,638,671 times
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Default I want to respond to a couple of things

for starters, the idea that just because there is a high percentage of blacks in the DC metro area, automatically means that as a black woman, I had more dating options. There is also the assumption that just because it did not work for me in DC, that my chances are nil in other locations.

(this is specifically for you resident09). I can only speak from my experience. At University of Maryland, the majority of people I encountered were white. Not black, white, and then the second majority were asians. I did meet some blacks but they were scattered, not concentrated. I felt like a statistic in that school and the white and asian or whoever guys were not hitting on me (ofcourse, there's the little possibility that the way I expected to be hit on, which I have now found is a lot subtler in the states, could have played a factor. I could have been blind to it, bottomline is I felt invisible)

Also, at my job (I worked as an Accountant), there were only like 3 other black Accountants in our company. And I was the only female. The Majority were whites and I did not get any play from them.

Basically, what I am saying is that I wasn't encountering as many blacks as you would think. In my school and work life, I encountered other races more than blacks and I could go days without meeting black people. Perhaps if I lived in maybe PG county or Baltimore or maybe hung out at Howard, my experience would have been different.

Secondly, I did not find the DC area very friendly. For all its perceived liberal-ness, I found it very cold. Like the people were closed off, stuffy, it was kinda weird. I find friendlier people in Indy
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Old 03-11-2010, 07:07 PM
 
56,674 posts, read 80,973,859 times
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[quote=Peacelilies;13257655]for starters, the idea that just because there is a high percentage of blacks in the DC metro area, automatically means that as a black woman, I had more dating options. There is also the assumption that just because it did not work for me in DC, that my chances are nil in other locations.

(this is specifically for you resident09). I can only speak from my experience. At University of Maryland, the majority of people I encountered were white. Not black, white, and then the second majority were asians. I did meet some blacks but they were scattered, not concentrated. I felt like a statistic in that school and the white and asian or whoever guys were not hitting on me (ofcourse, there's the little possibility that the way I expected to be hit on, which I have now found is a lot subtler in the states, could have played a factor. I could have been blind to it, bottomline is I felt invisible)

Also, at my job (I worked as an Accountant), there were only like 3 other black Accountants in our company. And I was the only female. The Majority were whites and I did not get any play from them.

Basically, what I am saying is that I wasn't encountering as many blacks as you would think. In my school and work life, I encountered other races more than blacks and I could go days without meeting black people. Perhaps if I lived in maybe PG county or Baltimore or maybe hung out at Howard, my experience would have been different.

Secondly, I did not find the DC area very friendly. For all its perceived liberal-ness, I found it very cold. Like the people were closed off, stuffy, it was kinda weird. I find friendlier people in Indy[quote]

I think that could be due to the pace there. Location has a lot to do with who you interact with anywhere you live. So, it probably had a lot to do with it.
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Old 03-11-2010, 07:37 PM
 
826 posts, read 1,638,671 times
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Default Continuation

So what am I saying?

I am saying that in addition to having a specific way of identifying being "hit on", part of my problem in the DC metro area was scarcity, in the sense that I wasn't meeting a lot of black people, where I was.

Did race also play a factor in my dating opportunities? Perhaps.

I would have loved to date a guy of another race but the fact was that they were not hitting on me. Yes, I did say earlier that there was a possibility that I could have been desired by other guys and not known it, but I rack my brain and don't recall ever being asked out for coffee or something

Aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrgh.

Anyway, that was my experience and it was a major reason I left the area. I was frustrated.

I know I wasn't a lone case. I had some female friends (all black) who were having problems dating in the area. But part of their issue was not finding the types of professional men they wanted or finding commitmentphobes.

From talking to people and researching the web , I have found that there are indeed regional differences in the way men approach women in the U.S. And honestly, I just want to move to an area where I can feel the love. I am tired of being alone.

Last edited by Peacelilies; 03-11-2010 at 07:45 PM..
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Old 03-11-2010, 07:41 PM
 
826 posts, read 1,638,671 times
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To ckhthankgod

You are correct. The pace definitely contributed. When I moved to the midwest, I was shocked at how friendly people were. Not saying Indy is perfect or anything (it's far from it), but I like the slow pace. I just wish my dating life was better.
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Old 03-12-2010, 04:16 PM
 
56,674 posts, read 80,973,859 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Peacelilies View Post
To ckhthankgod

You are correct. The pace definitely contributed. When I moved to the midwest, I was shocked at how friendly people were. Not saying Indy is perfect or anything (it's far from it), but I like the slow pace. I just wish my dating life was better.
My advice is to go to an area with a strong military presence. Think about it, most military bases are predominately male. So, maybe cities close to a military bases is the way to go. For instance, I believe that Seattle actually has more Black men than Black women and a part of that could be due to having an Army, Air Force and Naval Base very close by. San Diego is another city that was known for having a almost equal ratio of Black men to Black women and again, there is a Marine, Naval and Coast Guard base(s) close by. So, that is something to keep in mind.
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Old 03-13-2010, 08:05 AM
 
Location: Iowa
85 posts, read 281,267 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Peacelilies View Post
This is not a joke, I am serious about this question. I have lived in both Maryland (college) and the Midwest (job) and found that in those areas, men of all races do not actively pursue black women.

I don't know whether it is cultural, fear of sexual harassment accusations or just plain zero attraction to black women but in those places I got (and still get) no play.

A little about me, I grew up in Ghana, a country where men actively pursue women. They make catcalls, walk up to you and boldly ask you out for a date.

Since I moved to the U.S., I have not had that experience. I know I am not ugly but for the life of me, cannot explain why I never get asked out. I asked a caucasian colleague of mine and she said that American men are just shy and that they don't chase women the way I was used to in Ghana. She advised me to make eye contact with men I like and to smile encouragingly.

I tried that but failed woefully. I am just not used to making the first moves with a man also, the men I liked were not attracted to me.

I decided to stop but now want to move to an area where men are bolder. Does such a place exist in the U.S.?

I am professional, 26 with a grad degree
I could name lots of cities where black women are appreciated for their beauty. Atlanta and Miami both have some of the most beautiful black women I've ever seen. But a word of advice, don't think that just because a man makes a cat call to you he's a keeper. In fact, here he's usually not. In Ghana, this might net you a fairly nice guy. In the states, this will probably just get you a womanizing loser. If anything, the men you seek out are probably a little intimidated by you. You are educated, with presumably a good job, and attractive. In other words, you have the whole package. So, be confident in that. Try some different mediums of dating. If you have speed dating in your area, try that. Put yourself out there in situations where people are actively looking for someone.
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