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Old 11-18-2009, 09:54 AM
 
Location: Underneath the Pecan Tree
15,989 posts, read 30,712,804 times
Reputation: 7282

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Another thing to remember is if you respond to some dude catcalling you or flirting with you off the street; 9 out of 10; he's just trying to hit it and quit it.
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Old 11-18-2009, 05:13 PM
 
826 posts, read 1,640,066 times
Reputation: 1299
Quote:
Originally Posted by the resident09 View Post
Yea it's hard to understand that you lived in Maryland and asked this question. Where you on the Eastern Shore or something? Guys in the DC/MD/VA immediate area are notorious for hawking black women and smothering them when out and about in all parts of town. I frequently hear my out of town female friends say "why are the guys out here so aggressive." Its a dog eat dog world around here.
I lived in Silver Spring and went to college at the University of Maryland. I got maybe 2 passes in all the years I was there. It made me so depressed and I felt invisible and ugly.

The Midwest hasn't been that much better for me (I live in Indy now), which makes me want to move again. I know I am not ugly because whenever I travel back to Ghana, the interest is there. Recently I went to Jamaica and I had a lot of hits.

I just can't fathom why my experience so far in the U.S. has been so different. All I just want is a quality guy to ask me out... is that too much??

In the meantime, I am browsing the boards for new york and atlanta (Thanks bizchick 86). I am really serious about moving to a place where the men are similar to what I grew up with. Hopefully I get a good job in those places
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Old 11-18-2009, 06:11 PM
 
Location: That star on your map in the middle of the East Coast, DMV
3,996 posts, read 3,474,581 times
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The DC and Maryland area is considered "Chocolate City" and one of the most heavily populated black areas in the US, so moving to Atlanta or NY is not going to up your chances anymore it will be the same as it is here. In fact in NY its so over crowded that if you were having that issue in Maryland, it would be an even more significant chance of being overlooked. When you were at UMD did you venture out into DC or even Baltimore at all, or were you strictly limiting yourself to the immediate campus area? Girls at Howard University complain all the time how "local guys" are always coming up to their campus trying to holla at the freshmen lol. Maybe an HBCU would have given you a different outlook.
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Old 11-18-2009, 07:24 PM
 
826 posts, read 1,640,066 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by the resident09 View Post
The DC and Maryland area is considered "Chocolate City" and one of the most heavily populated black areas in the US, so moving to Atlanta or NY is not going to up your chances anymore it will be the same as it is here. In fact in NY its so over crowded that if you were having that issue in Maryland, it would be an even more significant chance of being overlooked. When you were at UMD did you venture out into DC or even Baltimore at all, or were you strictly limiting yourself to the immediate campus area? Girls at Howard University complain all the time how "local guys" are always coming up to their campus trying to holla at the freshmen lol. Maybe an HBCU would have given you a different outlook.
I don't know if I agree with all your comments. I know there are regional differences in the ways men approach women in the U.S. I am looking for that state where the men are a lot bolder when it comes to approaching black women.

I didn't find that in Maryland. Maryland for all its purported diversity, liberalism, wasn't that accepting to me when I was there.

This was my experience.
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Old 11-18-2009, 08:36 PM
 
12,825 posts, read 20,170,095 times
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Who knows, you might find it better here in SF and its metro. Not much of a Ghanan community here though ... we have more of a East / NE African set of expats / immigrants here. But hey, who knows? Maybe you'd find it to your liking.
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Old 11-18-2009, 09:42 PM
 
Location: That star on your map in the middle of the East Coast, DMV
3,996 posts, read 3,474,581 times
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Well thats why I asked where did you venture out to when you were in this area? Any particular night spots or locations? DC metro area is filled with Africans both East and West, I have female friends from Nigeria, Ghana, Sierra Leone, Kenya, Ethiopia, Eritrea etc. I have never heard one of them say what you are about guys trying to talk to them.
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Old 11-19-2009, 11:11 AM
 
Location: Underneath the Pecan Tree
15,989 posts, read 30,712,804 times
Reputation: 7282
I'm shocked by your experience in DC; when me and my family went to visit; my sister was pregnant and had dudes still trying to talk to her lol

I'd suggest attending an HBCU; if barely anyone tries to talk you there. Something is definitely wrong.
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Old 11-19-2009, 11:28 AM
 
Location: Pasadena
7,412 posts, read 8,254,479 times
Reputation: 1802
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peacelilies View Post
This is not a joke, I am serious about this question. I have lived in both Maryland (college) and the Midwest (job) and found that in those areas, men of all races do not actively pursue black women.

I don't know whether it is cultural, fear of sexual harassment accusations or just plain zero attraction to black women but in those places I got (and still get) no play.

A little about me, I grew up in Ghana, a country where men actively pursue women. They make catcalls, walk up to you and boldly ask you out for a date.

Since I moved to the U.S., I have not had that experience. I know I am not ugly but for the life of me, cannot explain why I never get asked out. I asked a caucasian colleague of mine and she said that American men are just shy and that they don't chase women the way I was used to in Ghana. She advised me to make eye contact with men I like and to smile encouragingly.

I tried that but failed woefully. I am just not used to making the first moves with a man also, the men I liked were not attracted to me.

I decided to stop but now want to move to an area where men are bolder. Does such a place exist in the U.S.?

I am professional, 26 with a grad degree
Los Angeles or San Francisco have tremendous racial\ ethnic diversity & relationships between blacks and anglos are quite common place.
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Old 11-19-2009, 12:28 PM
 
22,769 posts, read 26,248,228 times
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Atlanta, Miami, Houston, and DC are your obvious choices for black men. If you specifically want to date interracially, maybe the west coast would be more accomodating, I don't know.

But to be honest this thread makes no sense to me. I think there's some relevant information you are not telling us. Maryland is a good middle-of-the-road sort of place, where you are going to have a wide variety of blacks, in the upper class, middle class, and ghetto. It isn't like you're in rural Minnesota, where you have maybe 3 black guys, and they all drive Volvos. If you can't find a black man to hit on you in the DC area (or a white man, or anyone else, for that matter), then I don't see how moving to another state is going to solve your problem.
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Old 11-28-2009, 04:26 PM
 
Location: Harlem, NYC/ Wilmington DE
45 posts, read 91,841 times
Reputation: 30
JUST LIKE COLT SAID

This is about the women where I'm from~~> which is I can empathize why brothers getting tired of our nubian goddesses.
NYC just has a lot of well dressed women with Guliani attitudes towards ANYTHING that won't pay any of thier ish. Most women in Manhattan and Brooklyn and even Queens who look good are really suburban people who only come into the city to get free attention from passer byers, tourist and any sucker that thinks they can get them. The gorgeous ones (no matter which borough) have the heart and compassion of Dick Cheney, so it's nothing to them to shoot you and/or your wallet down viciously. I think this may be the reason why so many brothers are leaving to da South and or West. Just anywhere away from NYC...@ $2.25 a Metrocard ride, our Evil Sistahs just aren't worth it...or thier negative ways. Next time you see a sistah (pretty or not) on the train or bus or just walking, count how many of them look happy, sane, or grateful for anything...You'll be pleasantly surprised....to those beautiful women in nyc who disagree, well the truth hurts..Osama Bin Laden shall be caught WAY before women in the NYC tri-state area actually start thawing their cryogenic hearts....try smiling or something, because I do believe bitter goldigger is fading out, and time's running out for the ladies to get that hubby and child dream starting, right?!?! Last carribean parade (9/09) I never seen so many women on women, as if they've accepted that the only people willing to trick on them, is well them and white men. lol A white man with a sistah in NYC is like Jay-Z with Beyonce~~we ALL know Y she's with him...lol
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