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Old 12-30-2009, 12:42 PM
 
Location: Brookline, MA
613 posts, read 2,026,671 times
Reputation: 359

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I think that NYC, Miami, LA and Atlanta are your best bets. I'd stick to large cities.

If you like Latin men, I highly recommend Miami. Lots of Latin guys there and generally speaking, they're more aggressive and more fliratious in approaching women.
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Old 12-30-2009, 04:49 PM
 
25 posts, read 34,651 times
Reputation: 44
Default BW WM cities...

As Horace Greeley would say, and I'll paraphrase "Go WEST, young woman!"

More places on the West Coast,both large cities and smaller communities are far more open to I/R dating than places on the East Coast, the Midwest or the South. The Pacific Northwest, Portland and Seattle in particular, are known for white guys approaching Black women. Many of the college towns are good places, too.

What about placing a personal ad? That's how I met my man 8 years ago and I'm a BW with a WM in the Pacific Northwest.

Last edited by ladycascadia; 12-30-2009 at 04:55 PM.. Reason: additional info
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Old 01-09-2010, 08:05 PM
 
3 posts, read 4,647 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by bizchick86 View Post
Five words:

Atlanta and New York City

You will be tired of the harassment and you'll be starting a thread about how to fend off unwanted come-ons of rude ass American men.

For the quality of men, I'd say Atlanta, but if you just want a good amount to choose from and looking for more agressive types, New York City is the place.

Other than in the US, just for the sake of discussion, Italian men are general more outspoken and tend to like Black women, and Mexican men (in Mexico) are more aggressive as well.

LOL I especially love the first 2 sentences. I've had my share of come-ons in many places, but in visitiing Atlanta and NYC I've never had them as fast and forward. I didn't mind though, never had a problem saying no and moving on when I wanted to. But then I never lived in either place, maybe it would've gotten annoying over time..lol
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Old 01-09-2010, 11:12 PM
 
Location: Springfield VA
4,037 posts, read 8,085,708 times
Reputation: 1499
Not to be ugly, but it's you not the city. I'm sorry but you can't get any guys in DC? DC is one of the most oversexed cities that I've ever seen (not that I"m complaining). DC also has the lowest marriage rate in the country so I can't help but wonder if there's a correlation.

I mean where are you going to meet guys? Did you go to any of the clubs in DC? Are you going out in Indianapolis? The men don't always come to you, sometimes you have to come to where the men are. If you were expecting your next boyfriend to just walk up to you and ask you out then no that usually doesn't happen. While Indianapolis is not as black as DC there's enough eligible bachelors that if you just go out or better join a special interest club or church then you'll start meeting guys. No city in America has a shortage of men so moving won't solve your problem.
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Old 01-10-2010, 04:55 PM
 
Location: NJ Suburb of Philly (856)
155 posts, read 144,845 times
Reputation: 55
Atlanta
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Old 01-11-2010, 08:35 AM
 
11 posts, read 46,279 times
Reputation: 19
I would say New England, surprisingly.
Not Boston tho.
More like Hartford, CT, and Providence, RI. But not Southern CT!

There is a lot of low key race mixing in RI for some reason.
Although the North Eastrn US is no cultural mecca by a long shot.

NY State is a no go except MAYBE NYC. NY is obsessed w/ race & racial identity (yawn...so 1990s).

Also CA is good. I like Cali becaue there is an established history of affluent blacks there, and also there is an unparalleled Afrocentric beauty industry there that is very healthy. Cali people are progressive and can be very sophicicated, saying things like "rich skin tone" instead of "dark"

London, Irland & Scottland, Spain, Italy, South Africa & Botswana (central southern Africa)

Botswana BTW is very hip and perhaps the most economically stable African country.
History of Botswana:
After European interests, thinking there was nothing they could gain from the small landlocked country decided to leave, Botswana developed it's own Democratic Government (partially put in place by the French Gov when they split).
Years after it's independence, emeralds & diamonds where discovered, establishing Botswana's economic independence.
Unlike other African Countries, who's rich resources had been *claimed* by European interests during Europe's empire years.

Botswana is modest about it's success and continues to flourish.
Check out this link at the bottom for more info about Botswana.

Botswana:
BBC NEWS | Africa | Country profiles | Country profile: Botswana


* The word "claim" is specifically in reference to companies like Debeers. Who never actually purchased land rights in Africa, mineral or otherwise. Essentially rendering DeBeers and similar companies as illegal swatters, illegitimizing any claim of ownership. Similar circumstances are to be found throughout resource rich Africa, including Nigeria's oil rich coast line.

President Nelson Mandela in the 1990s, taking steps to reclaim S. Africa's mines, met w/ fierce opposition from Europe w/ the help of the American Gov. (Clinton & later Bush) who threatened the withdrawal of all funding and aide to S. Africa, and promised to plunge S. Africa's economy into dire straits by pulling strings on loans.
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Old 01-11-2010, 08:50 AM
 
Location: Minneapolis
305 posts, read 364,346 times
Reputation: 111
Quote:
Originally Posted by peacelilies View Post
this is not a joke, i am serious about this question. I have lived in both maryland (college) and the midwest (job) and found that in those areas, men of all races do not actively pursue black women.

I don't know whether it is cultural, fear of sexual harassment accusations or just plain zero attraction to black women but in those places i got (and still get) no play.

A little about me, i grew up in ghana, a country where men actively pursue women. They make catcalls, walk up to you and boldly ask you out for a date.

Since i moved to the u.s., i have not had that experience. I know i am not ugly but for the life of me, cannot explain why i never get asked out. I asked a caucasian colleague of mine and she said that american men are just shy and that they don't chase women the way i was used to in ghana. She advised me to make eye contact with men i like and to smile encouragingly.

I tried that but failed woefully. I am just not used to making the first moves with a man also, the men i liked were not attracted to me.

I decided to stop but now want to move to an area where men are bolder. Does such a place exist in the u.s.?

I am professional, 26 with a grad degree
atl
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Old 01-11-2010, 09:51 AM
 
11 posts, read 46,279 times
Reputation: 19
I agree that this person needs to step up her game. However, the game should not include seeming to aggressively pursue men as dates or lovers, because adult men of a certain age will not be interested in a woman who seems desperate. Men want to win her attention, approval, affection.
Study up girl.
Start goggling stuff.
A little game plan with some modern psychology certainly wont hurt!

A few proven tips & techniques :

A little secret is to enjoy the game so you can get good at it. Stop making it about what you're longing for and break it down into smaller pieces.

Start out with eye contact, aka flirting with your eyes.

Forget about getting the man as a result, just have fun with your game of "how many guys can I get to give me eye contact while I'm at this social function ?"

Chart your progress, revamp if you have to, until you are getting those warm sparkly glances with ease, along w/ a few mesmerized stairs, then go to step two.

As you develop your game, make sure you're never flying blind! Research, and be prepared.

For instance, what body language subconsciously invites touch?
Crossing that personal space line, touching him/getting him to touch you is a valuable flirting tool.

What ordinary words can sound alluring whispered into a man's ear?

Have a few conversation starters handy.
"John Wayne or Clint Eastwood?"

DO NOT COMPLIMENT MEN!!!! regardless of what they may say, men behave so much better when they have to work to earn your compliment, approval, affection. Let them subtly think you are weighting something about them by their answer, in a playful way.

Dating is about putting yourself in a position where you can make a good partner selection.

It's a numbers game.

Prepare to meet ALOT of people,
and yes, there will be a few "...what the..." along with some of the actual "potentials".

Make the investment of visiting with a skilled image consultant.

Go to the spa, or even the mall masseuse. The point is to get the healing/restorative touch which can be a great stand in if you in a dry spell.
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Old 01-11-2010, 10:23 AM
 
4,434 posts, read 4,424,023 times
Reputation: 3500
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peacelilies View Post
This is not a joke, I am serious about this question. I have lived in both Maryland (college) and the Midwest (job) and found that in those areas, men of all races do not actively pursue black women.

I don't know whether it is cultural, fear of sexual harassment accusations or just plain zero attraction to black women but in those places I got (and still get) no play.

A little about me, I grew up in Ghana, a country where men actively pursue women. They make catcalls, walk up to you and boldly ask you out for a date.

Since I moved to the U.S., I have not had that experience. I know I am not ugly but for the life of me, cannot explain why I never get asked out. I asked a caucasian colleague of mine and she said that American men are just shy and that they don't chase women the way I was used to in Ghana. She advised me to make eye contact with men I like and to smile encouragingly.

I tried that but failed woefully. I am just not used to making the first moves with a man also, the men I liked were not attracted to me.

I decided to stop but now want to move to an area where men are bolder. Does such a place exist in the U.S.?

I am professional, 26 with a grad degree
ever black guy who read that first thought probability was huh? men of all races do not actively pursue black women? honestly some people, even today are not open to date interracialy so that maybe a little bit slower on that route but let tell you right now black american men do like black women. Even people who are open to dating interracial have a bias of looking at their counter part first, but if you feel it's relative to you being a black women maybe you need advise from another black women about this. The DC area has one the largest black populaton in the U.S. I think it's 5th, everyone is pointing you to the Atlanta area because it's 2nd, to top DC, try LA, Chi, Atl and NY.
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Old 02-16-2010, 03:50 PM
 
826 posts, read 1,639,567 times
Reputation: 1299
Once again, thanks again to you all, It's been a while since I checked this thread

Suede_Perfection_Tan, I especially thank you for your tips and I plan to try them. The thing that I constantly struggle with is holding eye contact with an American guy. I feel naked, vulnerable and STUPID. It's hard to explain. In Ghana, you didn't have to even look at guys, they ran up to you, chased you, but i know, i know, this isn't Ghana so I have to adjust.

As an update, my resume is now floating in various companies located in the states I compiled from this thread. So far, no bites from those states, but it's looking like I may actually get an offer in Columbus Ohio of all places!!!!

There was a position I applied to where they were trying to fill spots in both Chicago and Columbus and it appears they really want me for the Columbus Ohio spot. I think it's because they are not getting many applicants there.

What do you all think?
I am not particularly enthused about Columbus since I already live in Indianapolis and I think it might be similar experience wise. I am thinking of holding out till I get into one of those states earlier identified. I have a job right now so am not in too much of a hurry to jump.

I want my decision to be the right one.
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