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Old 11-27-2009, 08:52 AM
 
Location: St Paul, MN - NJ's Gold Coast
5,256 posts, read 11,962,576 times
Reputation: 3080

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Quote:
Originally Posted by grapico View Post
heh, anybody else here tried giving them food and then they turn it down or give some crazy comment?
hah, no
I guess those guys expect you do either hand them money or booze.
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Old 11-27-2009, 11:35 AM
 
Location: Springfield VA
4,037 posts, read 8,080,713 times
Reputation: 1499
Quote:
Originally Posted by usedtobeanyer View Post
I know it may be a bit heartless to ask this question at this time of year, but I've often wondered what people are thinking when they give money to homeless people? I lived in NYC for nearly 15 years and I generally did give whenever possible in my first few years. However, as time passed I realized what a ridiculous waste of time this was and how I was just enabling drug habits. A case in point, there used to be a guy in my old neighborhood (Upper West Side) who would be on his knees in the middle of the sidewalk literally screaming, crying, begging people for anything, saying "I'M SO HUNGRY!". People often lined up to give him some change or more. What I always found funny was that if he were that hungry, you would think he would have taken the first dollar that someone gave him and run into a bodega to get something to eat. But he would take every penny, and I remember watching him one time after the crowds had died down and he never went to get any food. He simply hid himself against a building and counted his money, then after a few minutes passed he started his routine again and more crowds formed.

Obviously this is just one example but when there are shelters that are giving homeless people free food, no questions asked, you have to wonder why these people beg at all? The only answer is to support their drug/booze habit. Maybe for some people that's ok, and they don't mind giving money to help someone get their fix. But I think most who give generally think they are helping put food in someone's stomach when the reality is likely very different. I can recall a few times when I offered leftovers from dinner at a restaurant to a homeless person and the response was not all the enthusiastic, and in some cases it was simply refused.
My first response that yes that's pretty darn heartless. Obviously this is someone who has nothing and you're a jerk. Then I remembered a time when me and a friend were walking down the street. We were downtown and of course encountered a homeless guy. My friend who volunteers a lot offered to get the guy some actual food versus giving him money. "Come on let's get something to eat." The guy definitely refused and wanted money not actual food. So I don't know. You have to wonder about people like that but I've never been in a situation like that before and I"m going guess you haven't either so there's two sides to the picture. At the same time a lot of homeless folks are homeless for a reason that is indeed their fault. So I don't know it's not good to judge because most of us are just a few paychecks from homelessness. Really and truly I don't have all the answers. There are those who are legitimally homeless and those are just crazy and don't want to work for a living the problem is how do you distinguish who's who. We shouldn't turn our back on the less fortunate even if its their own fault that they're homeless but where is the line between the "good" homeless and the "bad" homeless? I don't know I rely on my feelings at the moment and the amount of spare change in my pocket.

Never ever ever EVER pull out your wallet for someone no matter what. If you don't have spare change then you dont' have spare change. I pulled out my wallet and as soon as I did the guy tried to mug me in broad daylight at a bus stop. He didn't get the wallet when he realized I would fight him for it he assumed that being gay I'd just hand it over I've been knocked unconsious for far less who did he think he was dealing with I'll never know but he left me alone but damaged my faith in humanity and doing a nice thing. I say just give to a charitable orginization it still feels good and it's tax deductible everyone wins.
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Old 11-27-2009, 12:00 PM
 
2,039 posts, read 4,905,475 times
Reputation: 1204
Quote:
Originally Posted by JakeDog View Post
Many are mentally ill as well, but why does a system "fail" anyone. Their families failed them by failing to provide adequate help. There is no system responsible for these people- there are individuals.

Perhaps you do not know but this goes deeper - some families can not find them, since they are mentally ill some have just left and their families do not have a clue.

Some are so mentally ill that they do not want the families - hence the mental illness.

Some famililes are barely making it
Some families do not know how to care for the mentally ill
Some families may be afraid to have their mentally ill sibling, relative, etc. around their chilren due to the illness and fear for the safety of the child
Some families do not know how to get help thus unable to provide adequate help

The list goes on and on

I was driving once to a local college and saw this very old woman digging in the garbage, I turned the corner and drove by again. When I saw her again she was actually eating something she pulled out of the dumpster, I grabbed a $20.00 bill out of my purse and walked over to give it to her. Never once did I think this was the wrong thing to do. I said excuse me, can I give you a little bit of m... and at that time she stopped and looked at me. I tried to continue but she went on to yell at me and call me every vulgar name in the book, she told me to leave her alone and get away.
To say I was scared is an understatement! I was near tears, I thought I was being compassionate but I never thought this obviously mentally ill person would treat me this way.
I will just keep rolling down my window and giving small amounts this way.

My point is, even as a family member I would not know how to keep a person like this in my home.
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Old 11-27-2009, 12:19 PM
 
Location: Bronx, NY
4,467 posts, read 8,440,438 times
Reputation: 5512
People give money to homeless because they are delusional. I used to give money to the homeless people but not anymore. I waited to see what would the homeless do after I gave him the money, and what did he do? He bought cigarettes unbelievable!!!! Instead of giving a dollar to a homeless I bought her food. Because she stated she was hungry! Now after I gave her the food she just put the food down and never ated!!!

So please people do not be delusional and give any money to the homeless!!!!!
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Old 11-28-2009, 03:47 AM
 
Location: Sarasota, Florida
15,400 posts, read 19,574,384 times
Reputation: 11067
Quote:
Originally Posted by terrence81 View Post
My first response that yes that's pretty darn heartless. Obviously this is someone who has nothing and you're a jerk. Then I remembered a time when me and a friend were walking down the street. We were downtown and of course encountered a homeless guy. My friend who volunteers a lot offered to get the guy some actual food versus giving him money. "Come on let's get something to eat." The guy definitely refused and wanted money not actual food. So I don't know. You have to wonder about people like that but I've never been in a situation like that before and I"m going guess you haven't either so there's two sides to the picture. At the same time a lot of homeless folks are homeless for a reason that is indeed their fault. So I don't know it's not good to judge because most of us are just a few paychecks from homelessness. Really and truly I don't have all the answers. There are those who are legitimally homeless and those are just crazy and don't want to work for a living the problem is how do you distinguish who's who. We shouldn't turn our back on the less fortunate even if its their own fault that they're homeless but where is the line between the "good" homeless and the "bad" homeless? I don't know I rely on my feelings at the moment and the amount of spare change in my pocket.

Never ever ever EVER pull out your wallet for someone no matter what. If you don't have spare change then you dont' have spare change. I pulled out my wallet and as soon as I did the guy tried to mug me in broad daylight at a bus stop. He didn't get the wallet when he realized I would fight him for it he assumed that being gay I'd just hand it over I've been knocked unconsious for far less who did he think he was dealing with I'll never know but he left me alone but damaged my faith in humanity and doing a nice thing. I say just give to a charitable orginization it still feels good and it's tax deductible everyone wins.
VERY GOOD POST!!!
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Old 11-28-2009, 07:42 AM
 
Location: Bike to Surf!
3,080 posts, read 9,942,974 times
Reputation: 2978
Quote:
Originally Posted by usedtobeanyer View Post
I've often wondered what people are thinking when they give money to homeless people?
I lived in a little town with a high number of homeless people. Many lived in a tree-filled riverbed called locally "Hobo Jungle" at small campsites. Often they'd ask if I could spare some change. I could, so I did.

I really don't care if they use the money for booze or drugs. One of them helped me move an old monster piano--a 400lb "Killer Upright" onto a van. I asked him what he wanted and he said just a drink, so I fixed him up a stiff one.

I'm not one to judge the lifestyle of someone else, and I figure if I was in their position, I'd like some change for a drink or a fix, and if I wanted to get real help, I'd head to one of the shelters and enroll in their programs. Nobody ever asked me for help with their addiction, for a place to stay, or even a bite to eat. Just some change. I don't see any real downside to being 37 cents poorer and him being that much closer to another drink.

Some people get all wound up about being asked for money, some people freak out when they're diving the dumpster for bottles or cans. I just don't see the harm in it so long as you give real money to real charity.
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Old 11-28-2009, 01:34 PM
 
Location: Searching n Atlanta
802 posts, read 1,746,225 times
Reputation: 364
Quote:
Originally Posted by sponger42 View Post
I lived in a little town with a high number of homeless people. Many lived in a tree-filled riverbed called locally "Hobo Jungle" at small campsites. Often they'd ask if I could spare some change. I could, so I did.

I really don't care if they use the money for booze or drugs. One of them helped me move an old monster piano--a 400lb "Killer Upright" onto a van. I asked him what he wanted and he said just a drink, so I fixed him up a stiff one.

I'm not one to judge the lifestyle of someone else, and I figure if I was in their position, I'd like some change for a drink or a fix, and if I wanted to get real help, I'd head to one of the shelters and enroll in their programs. Nobody ever asked me for help with their addiction, for a place to stay, or even a bite to eat. Just some change. I don't see any real downside to being 37 cents poorer and him being that much closer to another drink.

Some people get all wound up about being asked for money, some people freak out when they're diving the dumpster for bottles or cans. I just don't see the harm in it so long as you give real money to real charity.
I rep'd you because this is what my mom taught me about helping others that need it, and I try to help when I can cause I never know when I'll need that type of help.
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Old 11-28-2009, 02:25 PM
 
257 posts, read 318,674 times
Reputation: 114
I once saw a man and his daughter, homeless on the street, and the daughter crying. The guy probably lost his job and they literally had no where else to go.

Why not give money in such a situation?
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Old 11-28-2009, 04:05 PM
 
233 posts, read 680,762 times
Reputation: 269
Quote:
Originally Posted by nycricanpapi View Post
People give money to homeless because they are delusional. I used to give money to the homeless people but not anymore. I waited to see what would the homeless do after I gave him the money, and what did he do? He bought cigarettes unbelievable!!!! Instead of giving a dollar to a homeless I bought her food. Because she stated she was hungry! Now after I gave her the food she just put the food down and never ated!!!

So please people do not be delusional and give any money to the homeless!!!!!
The point of giving is to have NO attachment to the outcome. It's the act of giving that matters, not what you would like to have happen afterward. Any gift should be given with no expectation of either a Thank You, a desired outcome or praise for your deed. That is true giving.
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Old 11-29-2009, 10:50 PM
 
Location: New York City
2,814 posts, read 6,020,271 times
Reputation: 3164
it makes them feel better about themselves.
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