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Old 12-18-2009, 01:38 AM
 
Location: Tucson/Nogales
17,402 posts, read 21,244,496 times
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There's any number of Gay-tolerant cities, but Gay-friendly???? You mean, they'd give you a big hug when you enter the city-limits? Offer you cookies and milk?

I don't even see that in Gay-tolerant San Francisco. Of course, any real estate agent will have cookies and milk awaiting you and a candy jar in their office you can dip your hands into. And any city official dependent on tax revenue.
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Old 12-18-2009, 04:00 AM
 
Location: 30-40N 90-100W
13,856 posts, read 22,969,835 times
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I think "gay friendly" just means there's no job discrimination, you can make friends, and there are people who are supportive of the gay-community.

To me "Gay tolerant" would mean "they'll be pleasant and non-judgmental, but they do not necessarily approve or accept that kind of thing." Or they'll accept your having a same-sex wedding, but they'd really rather not have to see it.

I think if you have any kind of principles there are times it's better to be tolerant than friendly. I can tolerate Scientologists, but I wouldn't necessarily want to consider myself Scientology-friendly. I don't want to be their temple secretary or plan events for their religion. For that matter I would not necessarily want a person to pretend to like Catholicism just to make me feel better. In the past tolerance of the "let's not discuss it, but I like you anyway" kind has been tolerable to me. Also I like tolerance on my, different, issues because tolerant people may leave you alone and I'm not always very social.
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Old 12-23-2009, 11:32 AM
 
30 posts, read 112,741 times
Reputation: 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by tijlover View Post
There's any number of Gay-tolerant cities, but Gay-friendly???? You mean, they'd give you a big hug when you enter the city-limits? Offer you cookies and milk?

I don't even see that in Gay-tolerant San Francisco. Of course, any real estate agent will have cookies and milk awaiting you and a candy jar in their office you can dip your hands into. And any city official dependent on tax revenue.
I am not looking for milk, cookies and a big hug anymore than any straight person is. I am looking for a place that doesnt have several anti-gay laws like Florida where I live. Sure gay marriage would be a bonus but is not a must. New England has a history of standing up for human rights which is one of the many reasons I am considering the area.
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Old 12-24-2009, 11:55 AM
 
56,618 posts, read 80,930,134 times
Reputation: 12508
Quote:
Originally Posted by xxHopeful1xx View Post
I am not looking for milk, cookies and a big hug anymore than any straight person is. I am looking for a place that doesnt have several anti-gay laws like Florida where I live. Sure gay marriage would be a bonus but is not a must. New England has a history of standing up for human rights which is one of the many reasons I am considering the area.
Except for the vote CURRENTLY rejecting the gay marriage bill, NY has a good history in terms of human rights too.
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Old 12-24-2009, 12:52 PM
 
Location: Sarasota, Florida
15,400 posts, read 19,574,384 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xxHopeful1xx View Post
I am not looking for milk, cookies and a big hug anymore than any straight person is. I am looking for a place that doesnt have several anti-gay laws like Florida where I live. Sure gay marriage would be a bonus but is not a must. New England has a history of standing up for human rights which is one of the many reasons I am considering the area.
I have found Florida to be VERY HOMOPHOBIC and am surprised Anita Bryant has not run and won for governor!
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Old 12-24-2009, 01:05 PM
 
Location: Sarasota, Florida
15,400 posts, read 19,574,384 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by atlantagreg30127 View Post
I think that you also might need to define what "gay friendly" means to you, too.

Example: There's a difference between a town with people who would simply accept folks if they found out the person was gay, and a town that would accept someone who flies a rainbow flag on their porch. In case number 1, they may have more of a "live and let live" approach, but once you hang a flag, then they may have more of a "they're putting it in my face" attitude, and it won't be so friendly.

I live 25 miles outside of Atlanta. There are two "known" gay couples in my neighborhood, and neither of them have had any problems at all. I've asked neighbors if they have issue with it and they said they weren't bothered by it, however, more than a couple of comments came in about "the flag waving type", and how that would have been a problem. So, even in this Bible Belt area, there is a CERTAIN level of tolerance in 2009 - but depending on how far out someone is, that tolerance might turn around to bite in the butt if certain lines are crossed (in local's way of seeing things).

That being said, don't assume that prejudice towards gays only exists in the South. Over the years in city-data, we've seen comments about gay residents having problems at times in just about every region of the U.S. (and abroad), so it can be good or bad anywhere. Though he was young and not identified as "gay", remember young Ryan White who had AIDS years ago? His small town shunned him and treated him like an alien. His family moved 30 miles away and a similarly sized town embraced him like a relative. Attitudes can vary widely in small distances in the U.S.
I fail to comprehend how putting a flag on your porch is construed by some people as "in your face". Isn't that why some people put up Mc Mansions......now that's "in your face"! Flags are a sign of self expression.....Mc Mansions are showing off at the Planet's expense....I have more of a problem with that.
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Old 12-24-2009, 03:52 PM
 
30 posts, read 112,741 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PITTSTON2SARASOTA View Post
I have found Florida to be VERY HOMOPHOBIC and am surprised Anita Bryant has not run and won for governor!
Well South Florida can be pretty gay friendly socially but not politically. The rest of the state is pretty much an extension of the bible belt (most of it anyway).
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Old 12-24-2009, 03:54 PM
 
30 posts, read 112,741 times
Reputation: 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by ckhthankgod View Post
Except for the vote CURRENTLY rejecting the gay marriage bill, NY has a good history in terms of human rights too.
NY will come around!! Florida on the other hand is far behind.
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Old 01-21-2010, 04:25 PM
 
19 posts, read 53,066 times
Reputation: 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by xxHopeful1xx View Post
Does a town like this exist? I would love a small, affordable town with lots of nature in the northeast that is at least somewhat gay friendly. It would need to be somewhere near a big city with IT and mental health counseling jobs. Vermont and Maine are to far north. Any advice would be great!!

Try New Hope, PA. It is in Bucks County along the Delaware River. You are close to Philadelphia, Trenton, Princeton and 1 1/2 hours from NYC. It is a gay friendly town.
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Old 01-21-2010, 06:29 PM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
56,085 posts, read 54,581,442 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xxHopeful1xx View Post
Does a town like this exist? I would love a small, affordable town with lots of nature in the northeast that is at least somewhat gay friendly. It would need to be somewhere near a big city with IT and mental health counseling jobs. Vermont and Maine are to far north. Any advice would be great!!
Is the ocean enough nature for you? The woods aren't far, either.

Asbury Park, NJ, has been turning from a rundown shore town into a sort of gay mecca over the past decade. There is a commuter train line to New York City. It's not a short commute, but quite a few people do it every day. IT and mental health counseling are both thriving industries in both Jersey and the city. Not quite sure that's what you are looking for, but I thought I'd put it out there.

Gay Asbury Park

Also, in Northern New Jersey, while I can't think of any specific "gay-friendly" towns, I've known plenty of gay people over the years who are out and move quite easily in all social and business circles. The commute to NYC, if you chose to do that, is easier from up there (Bergen, Passaic counties).
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