U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > General U.S.
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 01-16-2010, 07:48 PM
 
Location: America, Inc.
1,012 posts, read 2,424,905 times
Reputation: 360

Advertisements

This may sound odd to some, but I know that at least some of the men from this area will be able to relate. Though i have never thought about this consciously until now, there is an interesting acceptability for a younger man to very innocently and harmlessly "flirt" with an older lady in a very non-sexual manner. This mainly involves complementing the older lady on how much younger she looks, how well she looks, etc. In essence, a from a social graciousness that is not appropriate if the woman is the same age or younger. My father (RIP) used to do this and I now find myself doing it as well in certain situations . Example:

Younger man: "And how are you doing young ladies?
Older ladies: "Oh honey, we wish!" (laughs)
Younger man: "Well, that's what I see, ma'am, and I
consider myself to have excellent taste".
Older ladies: "Oh you're so sweet! We thank you kindly."
Younger man: (slightly bows head, smiling) "Yes,
ma'am".

Another:

Younger man: "Yes, ma'am".
Older lady: (playingly) "Ma'am!? Lord, do I look that
old?
Younger man: "Of course not! I say that to all ladies!"
Older lady: "Well, your mother raised you right".

Are these type of interactions uniquely "southern", part of an older, dying culture that has roots in European codes of manners and social interaction that were once common throughout the country, or part of that dying culture that is still preserved mainly in our region of the country?

Last edited by Kitties of Domination; 01-16-2010 at 07:56 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-16-2010, 09:21 PM
Bo Bo won $500 in our forum's Most Engaging Poster Contest - Tenth Edition (Apr-May 2014). 

Over $104,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum and additional contests are planned
 
Location: Ohio
16,822 posts, read 33,206,690 times
Reputation: 13610
I have noticed a bit of this deliberate flattery of older women here in Texas, particularly by men working in sales and male waitstaff, although perhaps with not quite as much flattery as you describe in your example. I can imagine that it might be pushed a bit farther in the southeastern US, where southern manners are more flamboyant than is the norm here in taciturn Texas.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-16-2010, 09:26 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in the universe
2,161 posts, read 3,987,762 times
Reputation: 1434
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitties of Domination View Post
This may sound odd to some, but I know that at least some of the men from this area will be able to relate. Though i have never thought about this consciously until now, there is an interesting acceptability for a younger man to very innocently and harmlessly "flirt" with an older lady in a very non-sexual manner. This mainly involves complementing the older lady on how much younger she looks, how well she looks, etc. In essence, a from a social graciousness that is not appropriate if the woman is the same age or younger. My father (RIP) used to do this and I now find myself doing it as well in certain situations . Example:

Younger man: "And how are you doing young ladies?
Older ladies: "Oh honey, we wish!" (laughs)
Younger man: "Well, that's what I see, ma'am, and I
consider myself to have excellent taste".
Older ladies: "Oh you're so sweet! We thank you kindly."
Younger man: (slightly bows head, smiling) "Yes,
ma'am".

Another:

Younger man: "Yes, ma'am".
Older lady: (playingly) "Ma'am!? Lord, do I look that
old?
Younger man: "Of course not! I say that to all ladies!"
Older lady: "Well, your mother raised you right".

Are these type of interactions uniquely "southern", part of an older, dying culture that has roots in European codes of manners and social interaction that were once common throughout the country, or part of that dying culture that is still preserved mainly in our region of the country?
It's funny, because those conversations are real!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-16-2010, 11:22 PM
 
1,645 posts, read 3,191,107 times
Reputation: 1381
A funny story about this.

I went to see Iron Man when it came to theatres in a local cinema in West Orange, New Jersey. I ended up sitting next to a young woman and striking up a conversation with her before the trailers started. At some point I referred to her as "ma'am" (I generally use ma'am and sir) and she was so taken back I thought she was going to have a stroke. As it turns out, she was originally from South Carolina, had just moved up here two years ago with her husband who had gotten a job in Hoboken, NJ, and had gotten used to the absence of Southern mannerisms up here.

She said I was the first person to call her ma'am since she lived in Greenville.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-17-2010, 12:42 AM
 
3,644 posts, read 8,998,915 times
Reputation: 1798
I never hear the first one, but the second one has happened to me before. I don't travel much outside of the South, but when I do I still say "ma'am." I can remember doing this in Toronto and several Midwest cities. People didn't really look shocked as far as I can remember
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-17-2010, 02:59 AM
 
Location: New Mexico to Texas
4,552 posts, read 13,453,515 times
Reputation: 2125
a girl from CA that lives here told me that in Albuquerque we use ma'am and in CA they say miss.

I've always said ma'am, it was always the respectful way to great someone or reply.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-17-2010, 10:57 AM
 
Location: Lafayette, La
2,035 posts, read 4,554,605 times
Reputation: 1419
I love the South and the southern dialects.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-17-2010, 05:00 PM
 
Location: OKIE-Ville
5,412 posts, read 7,705,831 times
Reputation: 3054
Somewhat relevant to this discussion is older women calling young men "Sugar" or "Honey" ("Hun" for short).....this is quite common in the South-Central (OK/TX).

A young man can also call a young woman (or an older woman for that matter) "Sweetie"....which is not meant to be flirtatious in the least.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-17-2010, 08:56 PM
 
5,858 posts, read 14,044,713 times
Reputation: 3482
My aunt from Baltimore called my sisters, brother and me "huns" when we were kids. Yes, she use the plural.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-17-2010, 09:42 PM
 
Location: Southeast Arizona
3,191 posts, read 4,133,631 times
Reputation: 2104
I'll admit, when I worked at the old call center, many southern women I came in contact with called me "Hon'", "Sug" and as one black woman put it "Child" (pronounced: Chiiiiled. special emphasis on the i). Even over the phone it felt so warm and welcoming. And southern men, called me "sir", which is a term I use myself but I am almost never given the moniker of. Such a warm and respectful society, almost like a dream, my dream.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > General U.S.
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top