To ALL the GRANDPARENTS. You DONT OWN your grandchildren (kids, old, month)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You still can't threaten her. You don't want your son to be growing up in that environment and witnessing that dysfunction. You're going to have to be the bigger person while setting boundaries. Easier said than done, but I don't see another solution.
I think it's best for you to limit your contact with the MIL. Let your wife and son spend time over there without you. That way, you won't have to engage in power struggles with your MIL.
I am well aware of this. Did you not see the part where I wrote that I subsequently attended anger management classes? Do you think I would have done this if I had not realized that I had an anger issue, in particular, one related to her?
Additionally: Both my wife and my mom think I should be present and not shrink away from this and avoid her. I have already become a better person by learning to deal with her nonsense, and I hope to become better as I have a long way to go. Also, when I am NOT around my MIL and my wife is over there, they tend to run a bit roughshod over my wife. I mentioned in a previous post how my wife ultimately had to yell at her mom to hand over the baby so my wife could feed him. I was not there at the time. However when I AM there, in every other case except this past weekend, they think twice about overstepping and even if they proceed, they at least give it a second thought.
Are you and your wife still living with them.
I really dont understand your thinking and dont know your entire situtation but from reading your other posts you complain about your MIL being too involved with your child/wife/ilfe, you complain about your FIL being too involved and buying stuff for your child then you complain because your wife wants you to hold the baby or change diapers, etc. after you get home.
Sometimes when we depend on others for help (living arrangements, finances, help with a new child) we have to bend and overlook some behavior we are not too crazy about. In the long run it is more advantagous to have loving supportive grandparents even if they can be a pain in the butt sometimes.
.[/quote]I really dont understand your thinking and dont know your entire situtation but from reading your other posts you complain about your MIL being too involved with your child/wife/ilfe, you complain about your FIL being too involved and buying stuff for your child then you complain because your wife wants you to hold the baby or change diapers, etc. after you get home..[/quote]
I never complained about her buying things for the baby because she doesnt. When we stayed with them for three months to qualify for a mortgage as we had moved from one country to another, she became way too involved in our disagreements. One time my wife and I had an argument and her mother called us both into the living room and said "ok now what are WE going to do?" My anger management counselor told me and my wife that we needed to get out of her house ASAP and that she was way too involved in our business.
My thinking, and the thinking of my ENTIRE side of the family is to nip this in the bud and address it because this woman needs to adhere to certain boundaries. If we let it go now, it will only get worse.
And as far as overlooking things a person does because they help you, my cousin had a fight with his mom and went to live with a friend (my cousin was 20 and home from college on break) the friend let him stay with him for three weeks, fed him and gave him a place to sleep, but tried to molest him. Should my cousin have overlooked that? I think not. Just because someone does something nice for you DOES NOT mean they can walk all over you. Better not to accept the help. Ever hear of ulterior motives?
OP: it is apparent from your posts that you may have a pushy MIL. It is also glaringly apparent that you are immature, cruel, impatient, not a good parent, and you have serious anger management issues.
For you to express glee at the thought of 'poisoning' your son against his grandmother is sick and heartless. The only one that gets punished in that action is your own child. You seriously need mental counseling, and family counseling with your wife and her parents because you sound like the problem, not your MIL.
Grow up, vindictive little boy. Get yourself counseled before you injure your kid or someone else.
OP: it is apparent from your posts that you may have a pushy MIL. It is also glaringly apparent that you are immature, cruel, impatient, not a good parent, and you have serious anger management issues.
For you to express glee at the thought of 'poisoning' your son against his grandmother is sick and heartless. The only one that gets punished in that action is your own child. You seriously need mental counseling, and family counseling with your wife and her parents because you sound like the problem, not your MIL.
Grow up, vindictive little boy. Get yourself counseled before you injure your kid or someone else.
If you dont see anything wrong with my MIL's behavior, well that's your viewpoint. Now you have an OUTSTANDING day ok! I mean have a really really good one with all the bells and whistles possible! :-)
Again with the sarcasm The fact that your 20 yr old cousin almost got molested has nothing to do with your MIL. I noticed you just edited the post above. What he posted before he changed his response was something along the lines of "thanks for responding it shows you care". So although you claim not to be affected by everyone's comment you're not fooling anyone.
Last edited by KylieEve; 09-29-2010 at 10:25 AM..
Reason: .
Man how I would love to say this to my mother in law. If there are grandparents in this forum, you need to know that you DONT own your grandchildren. They are not your property and the wishes of your children come first. If they dont want you to see the grandchild, you have to deal with it. If they set boundaries, you have to observe them. You are on the periphery, you are not the child's parent. If the parents choose, you can have absolutely NO SAY in the upbringing of the child.
Be mindful of this.
Do you know how many Grandparents are RAISING their Grandchildren????
Yeah!
If they would raise their own Dang kids then the Grandparents can go off and enjoy retirement!!!! Since when do the Grandparents have to go pick up the kids from school???
Awww don't give me any garbage about how hard it is to make a living and all. Crap!!! Live within your means!!!!
Don't make them play the role of parenting and they won't step in and parent YOUR children.
I am not saying this is your particular situation...I am just saying in general.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.