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Unread 01-19-2011, 07:48 AM
 
1,135 posts, read 1,064,932 times
Reputation: 1422
Quote:
Originally Posted by saywha View Post
I just want some perspective on this.

Now, I understand that sometimes things happen to the parents (death,illness, prison, ect.) and the g-parents take over, and when that case arrises, thank God they are there to do so.

To my point. I know this lovely lady, who has her grandaughter more than the parents, she clothes her, feeds her, takes her to school, helps her with homework, takes her to the doc, fills the perscription, basically everything the child's parents should do.

The child's parents are not together, and they are married to other people. The grandmother says that the parents are just too busy with work and whatever.

Does this happen often, where parents just dump their kids on g-parents because they're "too busy"? I think it's horrible, here she has raised her kids (although I'm questioning how well she raised them due to the fact the her own child is the one doing the dumping). I think she should give them a reality check!

What are your thoughts......
This is epidemic. Our state social services dept has a program, "Kinspeople as parents" to support people in this situation.

In most cases the parents are on drugs or too young and irresponsible to care for their children and the grandparents step in to avoid a foster care placement.
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Unread 01-19-2011, 03:09 PM
 
2 posts, read 1,973 times
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There are many circumstances that can lead to a grandmother taking care of her grandchild if only she does not have much problem with that. One can be as a result of death of both parents of the child or divorce. I, for instance was brought up by my grandmother as a result of losing my dad at a tender age. I was so stuborn that my step dad could not tolerate my behavior around the age of 12 to 13 years so my mother has to take me to my grandmother in order to safe her marriage. He did transform me and even cared more than my mother could have done if I was to live with her and the husband. It is always best for both parents to bring up a child, but if things happen in the pipe line as mine, and there is a wonderful grandmother like mine, then why can she raise the child.
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Unread 07-26-2013, 05:37 AM
 
7 posts, read 1,734 times
Reputation: 19
Its a disgrace for the parents because they aughta be responseable enough to raise their young'uns! If the kids old enough though and decides hed rather live with granny and pappa than mommy and daddy and everyone else agrees as well then i dont see anything wrong with it but when the parents force off their chillin or the grandparents take over by force i KNOW thats just plain wrong.
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Unread 09-01-2013, 10:52 AM
 
5,104 posts, read 5,104,076 times
Reputation: 4835
Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
It is also very cultural. In Asia it is not uncommon for parents to depend on their parents to take in kids while they may even go to another country for work. I try not to judge.
I think this is or was true in many cultures and societies including our own until recently. Parents had to work longer hours, all day often weekends whether that was plowing, factories or tending the gardening, canning, sewing clothes, washing clothese by hand, everything was harder and took more time etc.
Grandparents who could no longer do the heavy lifting took care of the lighter jobs including baby care till the kids were old enough to do chores or go to school.

I think its a good model actually. Younger parents are biologically better suited to bear healthy children but aren't as patient or wise and are also physically/mentally better suited for work. Grandparents tend to be more patient, understand kids etc.

Social expectations may have changed with the new/sudden affluence, ability to mass produce food and govt programs of the post WWII era but the human realities remain the same.

The constant drum beat is "FAMILY IS EVERYTHING". What is that but blood pulling together? Why do people think this is an issue?
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