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I wasn't sure where to post this, but I really need help.
My grandmother and her husband live in Florida, outside Gainesville. They own their home and vehicle and have no debt. My cousin, who has a very long criminal history (major drug history as well, as admitted to us she's used drugs in the last couple years) has sucked up to them and is living in their home. They've on a fixed income - both live on social security that's next to nothing.
She's managed to convince my grandmother that no one cares for her except her and has gotten her to sign a power of attorney giving her full legal right to sell anything she has, get her name added to their checking account, etc.
The rest of the family has known my cousin has been in and out of the house with her boyfriend du jour on a regular basis for years. However my grandmother wouldn't tell anyone what was going on. Until her husband's daughter got a letter from the bank telling her the joint account she has with them is overdrawn. She'd never been notified that my cousin has POA and could access the account and didn't know she'd been writing hundreds of dollars of checks for her own personal use on the account. Next thing she knows the electric bill bounces. That's when all of this came to light.
My grandmother has Alzheimers so trying to talk to her is like pulling teeth. She only trusts someone that lives right there and she can depend on daily. I've always been extremely close to my grandmother but she won't even listen to me. I've begged her to come live with me. Told her she can stay here for free - we've got a part of the house seperate from the rest that's a guest suite - until her house in Florida sells. Or don't sell it for all I care. We're not rich but we can afford to support them. But she won't do it; doesn't want to leave her house.
We thought we had a chance to fix this because my cousin planned on moving out of state. However, she decided to not go - who's going to leave the goose that lays the golden egg - and now we don't know what to do.
My cousin is a con artist who is great at convincing everyone that the family is out to get her. And because she has my grandmother conned, she agrees. Her husband said it's not worth the wrath of my grandmother to tell the authorities what's going on.
We're running out of ideas. The only option we can think of that we have left is to file a lawsuit and take it to court, but none of us have the money and we're several states away from where they are so a long drawn out court battle wouldn't even be possible. Does anyone have any ideas at all? I just know my grandparents are going to be left homeless and vehicleless one day.
If you have enough evidence against her you can report her to the police (or whatever Adult Protective Agency in your state) for elder abuse / financial abuse. It is a criminal offense to do this to elderly and I am sure they can dig up enough evidence of her activities esp if they can find evidence of illegal activities. You might need to hire a PI or lawyer as the police will not intervene unless there is physical harm or neglect to the elder person. However, don't let that deter you from asking the police for leads on where to go for help. Good luck. Hope your cousin rots in jail.
This is for LA but you will probably have a website in your county. Make sure you have your evidence together first. This could be sticky since she is "family". http://da.lacounty.gov/seniors/default.htm
If you have enough evidence against her you can report her to the police (or whatever protective agency in your state) for elder abuse / financial abuse. It is a criminal offense to do this to elderly and I am sure they can dig up enough evidence of her activities esp if they can find evidence of illegal activities. You might need to hire a PI or lawyer. Good luck. Hope your cousin rots in jail.
This is for LA but you will probably have a website in your county. Make sure you have your evidence together first. This could be sticky since she is "family". LADA Elder Abuse Unit
One good argument is that they depleted her funds and now she has no food to eat and no way to sustain her household. Financial Elder Abuse
We did. They went out and talked to them. My Gram supported her and told them she told her she can write checks on the account. Her husband won't argue with her. She's pretty emotionally unstable. She's always been one to cry at the drop of a hat but as her disease progresses it's gotten much worse. So the sheriff's office closed the case thinking the entire family - all of us are retired law enforcement or in a medical or financial field as a career and are degreed - are out to get her. Ticks me off. She's in a super tiny town there and I'm guessing it's just lazy police work. Easier to close it and walk away. Not their problem.
As for food and all, they've got a few checking accounts so they were able to buy food. I'm sure she'll be emptying the others soon.
My mother just told me that a couple months ago she told my grandparents she was moving out of state and had to put them in a nursing home. My grandmother got a call from a real estate agent locally calling for my cousin. Wouldn't tell Gram why she was calling. Gram called her sister crying saying she was afraid my cousin was just trying to get rid of them so she can take the house and car and leave with their money. And I'm sure she was. But it's been a few months and my grandmother doesn't remember that now. And now my cousin has decided to stay there.
Hrm, maybe the next step is to hire a Elder abuse lawyer. Since you can afford it, it might be worth it to save your grandmother from the evil cousin to pry away the power of attorney. Evil cousin does not deserve a free ride on your grandma's dime. And imagine if she ever needs an advanced directive / end of life POA, there is no way your cousin would act in her best interest. This situation sucks esp with the lousy police work. I have encountered such police blocks before while trying to rescue a mentally incapable family member. It is never easy and as long as she is deemed mentally competent by the state it will be next to impossible unless you can prove that the money is being funneled into illegal activity. It might take some sort of court order or even a PI to accomplish that. And I don't know if you want to go down that road.
But from your story it seems very much like your grandmother may not be deemed competent. If they havent t run tests on her to determine it, rather than just interviewing her about your cousin's rights to use her accounts, then it is bogus. I'd revisit the issue.
With you being a grandchild, you really should get your parent that is the child of your grandparents to intervene. They would be able to have your Grandmother declaired incompetent and take over her financial affairs. Your Grandfather has to be declared incompetent as well or it is a fruitless quest.
Though your cousin is a bad person, you have no rights as long as your Grandmother accedes to handing over rights to her. It sounds like a mess but only your parents or grandfather are in the position to do anything about it. Sorry about the bad situation.
Hrm, maybe the next step is to hire a Elder abuse lawyer. Since you can afford it, it might be worth it to save your grandmother from the evil cousin to pry away the power of attorney. Evil cousin does not deserve a free ride on your grandma's dime. And imagine if she ever needs an advanced directive / end of life POA, there is no way your cousin would act in her best interest. This situation sucks esp with the lousy police work. I have encountered such police blocks before while trying to rescue a mentally incapable family member. It is never easy and as long as she is deemed mentally competent by the state it will be next to impossible unless you can prove that the money is being funneled into illegal activity. It might take some sort of court order or even a PI to accomplish that. And I don't know if you want to go down that road.
But from your story it seems very much like your grandmother may not be deemed competent. If they havent t run tests on her to determine it, rather than just interviewing her about your cousin's rights to use her accounts, then it is bogus. I'd revisit the issue.
We can't afford the attorney is the problem. I can afford to support her - food, extra utilities, etc - but coming up with a large amount of money as a retainer for an attorney and him to do all the leg work gathering the evidence the court needs and going through the court battle..................We just don't have that kind of money.
She's been diagnosed with Alzheimers for quite some time. She called me crying about 2 years ago to tell me she'd been diagnosed. I had to remind her that while she still lived in south Florida she'd been diagnosed. She'd forgotten they told her that back then. So it's definitely progressing and there is a definite diagnosis by two of her doctors in two different towns. But I'm stuck other than that because of the attorney fees.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MattB4
With you being a grandchild, you really should get your parent that is the child of your grandparents to intervene. They would be able to have your Grandmother declaired incompetent and take over her financial affairs. Your Grandfather has to be declared incompetent as well or it is a fruitless quest.
Though your cousin is a bad person, you have no rights as long as your Grandmother accedes to handing over rights to her. It sounds like a mess but only your parents or grandfather are in the position to do anything about it. Sorry about the bad situation.
My mother is the oldest of the five kids. My slimy cousin is the daughter of the youngest child in the family and she's just as much a POS as her daughter is. When my cousin was using drugs heavily she was in a really bad car accident and nearly died. She was in ICU for months and didn't get released from the hospital and after care for over a year. She's managed to con the government after years of fighting to give her disability even though she never held a legal job for more than a month or two at a time and even that was only a few jobs. She'd become such a horrible mother to her infant daughter before the accident that while she was in the hospital her mother got custody of the baby. We looked into the paperwork years ago for my cousin when we thought she was straighened out and found that the actual 'adoption papers' that my aunt claims were signed by a judge never were and she doesn't have custody of her after all. She only had POA for her while my cousin was recovering from the accident. When she found that out she took the baby and moved several states away. Every time my cousin tracked her down and called law enforcement in her area she'd moved to, my aunt would provide them with forged court papers saying she adopted her and then pack and move away again. So, the apple hasn't falled far from the tree with these two.
The other two daughters - child two and four - are willing to help my mother file the court paper work and get legal POA but again there's the whole money thing. My aunt, child four, is an RN in IL and said my Gram and her husband can live with her. She almost had her talked into that until the cousin found out. She immediately had a fit and told my Gram she was going to move away and they'd be forced into a nursing home and had her convinced no one else in the family loved her or cared about her. So, if we can get my **** cousin away from her for even a month I know we can convince her to move in with my aunt or my mother or even me, but we can't get her to leave. She'd planned on moving out of state and was supposed to go this month. My mother and I had plans on going down there as soon as she did and talking Gram and her husband into leaving right then and coming to stay with me and we'd get her to IL once the winter was over. But somehow the cousin found out and now she won't leave.
The big issue is we can't come up with the huge retainer for the attorney and we're hoping there's another option. I know there's a felony state statute she can be charged with if we can just get her away from them so we can get Gram's head straightened out. He'd be more than willing to file and back us if we'd get the cousin away from Gram so she couldn't screw with her head and tell them that it's all a lie and we're all out to get her. It's just so frustrating. I can't sit by and watch them being used like they are. I feel like I've lost my grandmother because I can't even be a part of her life at this point, and she and I were always the closest in the family. She cried to my mom for days the last time she was there. She was my best friend growing up - I know that's pathetic, but she's just a wonderful woman - and now I feel like she's gone forever. I'm afraid if we don't get my cousin out of there I'll never even get a chance to say goodbye to her before she does pass away. She's got more medical problems than the Alz so I know I don't have much time. And that conniving little con artist cousin of mine is robbing me of the little I do have.
Do you think there is a chance your cousin might be physically abusing her? If so that might be a way to get her away from there at least temporaily...
How much is the retainer fee if I may ask? Seems like the law and law enforcement act more as barriers... sorry that it is so frustrating.
I wonder if there is any way you can psych the cousin out so she would leave. Do you think she is doing anything illegal now? Can you get the dirt on her using a PI?
I know she's not doing her any physical harm, as is physically abusing her. My mother did say that my cousin had the doctor change my Gram's meds recently. I know the doctor won't give her anything that will hurt her, but it bothers me that she's in control of the meds she's taking because she obviously doesn't have her best interest at heart by any means.
My mother said the cheapest they found was over $2000. And that's just the retainer. There will be hourly charges and if they need to request documentation from anyone for anything we have to pay for that by the page. And then when it goes to court the costs jump drastically. Very frustrating.
My husband thinks we should go down there and try to scare her off. He's retired law enforcement and taught courses for the government for a while. He's a big guy and can be scary to people that don't know him. But he's also disabled and that trip alone would be horrible for him. And I don't want him getting in trouble if she goes and reports anything to authorities. Aside from the fact, if she does it just gives her something she can use against us. 'See, I told you they're against me and they're all crazy'. I think we're all just so frustrated that there's nothing we can do, no agency we can find that will really look into it.
I'm sure she's still using drugs. I know she's still spending their money, but they gave her consent to do so when my Gram gave her POA. I can't prove anything though, at least not anything illegal. Immoral, unethical, yes. Illegal, no. Not sure what a PI could possibly turn up though. They can get the same info we can, but as far as taking advantage of her in a way that could get the POA over turned................ I don't know. Even if he did we'd have to go to court for that. Just sucks that their health and future and financial well being are all dependant on money.
I would go down with your husband and threat her about retaining a lawyer to get her thrown out of your grandmother's house. She is slowly trying to get the house and car and wiping out all of your grandparent's money.
I think the 4 children of your grandparents need to intervene also and go down there and get her out of the house. Make sure the power of attorney is in someone' else name. Also you might have to go to court to have your grandparents have a appointed guardian for them.
This sounds all too familiar. I am sorry for the frustration and stress that this cousin has put your family through. I can relate to the pain in the reality that anyone,much less a family" member", would do this to your beloved grandparents. The sociopathic family"member in the family is our daughter. Problems began to peak with her when she conned my elderly parents into taking out two bank loans , to pay for a lavish wedding that they could not afford. She then began to systematically drive her grandparents ,who prided themselves on paying their bills on time, into bankruptcy and drained them of their life savings. I could also feel your sense of urgency in intervening on your Team's behalf. While I laid in a hospital, recuperating from a life threatening illness, our daughter took her criminal intentions to a level that has completely devastated what is left of our family. I witnessed something shocking a week after I was released. I saw my daughter withholding medications fro my mother. I watched my mom take her meds and more importantly ,my daughter. Soon after that I went to my mom's, and as soon as I saw her I realized, she had suffered a stroke. Later I learned that she had the stroke hours before! My daughter convinced my dad not to call 911 and simply left the scene when I called earlier to say I was on the way . My husband and I rushed her to the hospital ,she fought for her life as I helped to try and nurse her, but I believe the betrayal by her granddaughter was too much to overcome, and saddly she died. Before my beloved mama's passing ,we sought help from law enforcement,APS and an attorney ,with no results. Now I don't have my mother,my best friend . I believe that my daughter retaliated ,enraged that my mom was starting to stand up for herself ,because she was taking her money. We discovered recently that APS removed our son-in-laws' grandfather from our daughters home due to negligence and financial exploitation. I believe that my father is now in danger, as he found out she stole a huge sum of money from his bank account and she is currently under investigation. I join you in asking what can be done about this evil?
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It's just so frustrating. I can't sit by and watch them being used like they are. I feel like I've lost my grandmother because I can't even be a part of her life at this point, and she and I were always the closest in the family. She cried to my mom for days the last time she was there. She was my best friend growing up - I know that's pathetic, but she's just a wonderful woman - and now I feel like she's gone forever. I'm afraid if we don't get my cousin out of there I'll never even get a chance to say goodbye to her before she does pass away. She's got more medical problems than the Alz so I know I don't have much time. And that conniving little con artist cousin of mine is robbing me of the little I do have. 
