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I have a new grandson - my second (first is 11 years old). He is 4 months old. I try to see him once a week, usually babysitting for him late afternoon into the evening while his parents are at work (Mom says this is his "fussy" time).
He is not a good sleeper or napper, manages to catch a few 20 - 30 minute naps during the day. He does not sleep through the night yet.
The trouble is that when he sees me, he cries and cries. I know all of his Mom's tricks to comfort him and he sometimes can be comforted, but when I took over for his babysitter this week he was inconsolable until his Mom and Dad got home. All is OK when he sees me if he is with his them, but if Mom is not around he wails - even the sound of my voice talking to him can set him off.
I SO want to continue to see him at least once a week - but I feel badly if the visit is only going to lead to him being upset.
Has anyone ever had this experience? Any advice or suggestions? Is it because he is so young? Will it pass soon?
Is it normal for such a young one to have what seems like separation anxiety?
I am feeling like he just doesn't like me - but hope that isn't it!! Help!!
My grandaughter was the same way-very restless and fought her naps and bedtime something terrible. Knowing Mom's tricks didn't help me. I had to find my own. Sounds like he is very attached to Mom and needs to have the time away from her or things like preschool and play dates will be unheard of. My grandaughter will now get her favorite doll, her blanket and stand at the side of the bed waiting for me to tuck her in. It gets better with strong willed little ones
Thanks for your input. He does have time away from Mom, as she works 6 days a week - I sat for him over the weekend for a full day while Mom was sick with a stomach flu and he was fine until the evening - his fussy time began again and while his Dad was holding him, I spoke to him and he cried more!! Looking forward to better times soon!
I know part of the reason my gd is resistant to go to sleep. Her parents are not together and my son has her 50% of the time and her mother the other 50%. She is constantly bounced back and forth and if she ends up going to grandparents, she is bounced around yet again. I noticed that this last weekend. I guess it's time for us to be more consistant with her time and not our's.
I love being with my grand daughter, and she is always good for me until aound 8:00 p.m. then she starts fussing and crying for her mama..The few times I've tried to babysit evenings, My daughter has had to come home early...I think it's because when she's getting ready for her "big sleep", she's so used to snuggling up with her mama....good luck
Susanjean1, I'll just bet this is something your grandson will outgrow. Goodness knows they grow in and out of stages so quickly as babies. In the meantime, it may be a good idea to visit several times during his "happiest" time of day when he is most contented and alert, mornings perhaps? You may see a difference in his behavior at that time of day and perhaps you can form a more satisfying relationship with him that will carry over to your evening visits. Just a thought, anyway. I can only imagine how you must feel in this situation. It's always been one of my greatest fears around infants---that they'll start wailing when I pick them up. As I said, though, be patient, its bound to pass eventually and then you'll be best buddies.
It is actually getting a little better now that he is six months old. But he is still a major momma's boy . . . we were shopping together the other day and my daughter handed him to me and he immediately began fussing for mama!
But he has his wonderful moments when we cuddle and play and he laughs at my silly noises, and it makes it all so worthwhile!
Yep, that is the "fussy" time...take him for a ride in the car...or if you can go to the park and put him in the baby swing. Diversion is the key to that, they don't really want to be held, they just want to fuss...Take him outside in the stroller. My kids were like that...It will get better.
There is nothing wrong with the baby. It means he has a healthy attachment with his mother. If you are only there 1 day a week then he is not that attached to you yet. We recently went to visit our family and my 8 month old would cry for me if I was in the room. The only people he does not cry if holding him while I am around is my husband (unless he is not feeling well) or our nanny.
My son is extremely happy all of the time. The only time he is not happy is when he is hungry or tired. Maybe the baby needs an earlier bedtime. He also sounds overtired if he his not napping well during the day. That is compounding his fussiness I am sure.
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