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What a heartbreaking thread..I have nine grandchildren..I have/am helping raise 5 of them..Those five have mostly lived with me their lives..Their 2 moms married young to not so good men..I thank God that he blessed me with being able to do this..Because I see the 5 daily and the bond is very strong, it takes nothing away from the love I have for the other four..Two of the other 4 live only 2 hours away, so they do come almost every weekend, because their mom/my daughter believes in strong family ties as I do. I treat her children no different than the other 5..The last two grandchildren are my sons kids from his first marriage. I don't see them often, they have not bonded with me like the rest of the grandchildren simply because they can't visit. Even though I only see them a few times a year, I love them dearly and worry about them, because they are being raised by their mom, whom I also loved like my own daughter, but she broke all ties with us when she divorced my son.. I hope when they are older they will want to get to know us,,
I am a grandfather with two lovely grandchildren on the absolute opposite side of the county. I am on the Pacific coast and they are on the Atlantic coast. I am too far for visits, but I am actively involved in their lives--I know this to be true because my daughter-in-laws confirm it. Since they were about 3 I started working on how to be in their lives without being able to visit. I correspond regularly! In the summer, I send ice cream truck money and little stickers and all holiday cards. We exchange photo's. I give them magazine subscriptions and they call me regularly to chat and converse. IT IS WORKING! I plan to move back to the east coast soon, but in the meantime, this is working out fine. I know and love my grandkids and they know and love me.
Hi, Elston, I know you from the Maine forum, I seldom post , but I lurk all the timeMy sil was also a long distance grandparent, and it worked out very well. She would call the 2 girls every night anf tell them a bedtime story, she would send them all kinds of small trivial things in the mail, and send cards and finally talked over the internet..She was involved in every aspect of their lives and they bonded just fine..She was lucky to see them twice a year. The granddaughters are grown now and the families have migrated closer now. They are within a couple of hours apart..I admire you for making it work
Hi, Elston, I know you from the Maine forum, I seldom post , but I lurk all the timeMy sil was also a long distance grandparent, and it worked out very well. She would call the 2 girls every night anf tell them a bedtime story, she would send them all kinds of small trivial things in the mail, and send cards and finally talked over the internet..She was involved in every aspect of their lives and they bonded just fine..She was lucky to see them twice a year. The granddaughters are grown now and the families have migrated closer now. They are within a couple of hours apart..I admire you for making it work
Hello, nice to meet another person from the Maine forum!
Two years ago I was able to bring each family out for a week to visit here in southern california. (seperate weeks) It was such a wonderful treat for all of us, and really cemented who Grampy is (and also who my partner is); now he is included as a natural part of the family. After those visits I wrote and illustrated (off google images) a memory book about the visits for them. That way they had constant reminders. I know that they can feel my love and they reflect it back. Their sweet calls and the school pictures on the fridge, and the framed photos tell me that they will never grow up and say, "I didn't know my Grampy Elston...he lived too far away." I have sorta merged "Grampy" with "Dear Diary"..a totally accepting and loving and indulgent confidant.
Elston, you sure have offered this grand-parent some good ideas. I do talk to one of the two grands (3 years old); the newest is less than one year.
They are coming to my place for Christmas and we are looking forward to chosing our own tree, and making good home cooked food together. My SIL is a marvelous home-style chef, and I hope to get some local lamb for the holiday.
This 67 y o Grampy says Howdy! My Grandkids just turned 7. Telephone conversations are much easier now because I can understand them so much more easily than when they were younger and they don't need a parent right there to feed them things to say. I do love being a grandparent and would claim it as one of my favorite life roles. Being a parent to my kids when they were little was much harder due to family dynamics...that also has grown much easier now that they are grown and perhaps I am more relaxed and even wiser. Do ya think?
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I hope when they are older they will want to get to know us,,
My sil was also a long distance grandparent, and it worked out very well. She would call the 2 girls every night anf tell them a bedtime story, she would send them all kinds of small trivial things in the mail, and send cards and finally talked over the internet..She was involved in every aspect of their lives and they bonded just fine..She was lucky to see them twice a year. The granddaughters are grown now and the families have migrated closer now. They are within a couple of hours apart..I admire you for making it work
