Would you want to know you have a grandchild?

[Squirl]

I would tell baby daddy that in one year I would be advising the grandparents about the child. So, on the baby's first birthday a photo and a note would go out. Be careful, however, for your safety. Sure would not do this or even tell baby daddy about the plan/ultimatum if I had a secret fear any harm would befall me or baby.

As a grandparent, I must say I'd want to know but I would also be suspicious about a strange woman alleging to be parenting my son's child. I would wonder if its true, and also wonder if this was a scheme to get money from me. So, I do think if you plan on advising his parents that you get a DNA test and let them know you want nothing in return. HOWEVER, I just told you what I would want to know as the grandparent. As the mother of this baby, I would NOT tell them because once they are aware, now these people may want to get to know the baby so you will have complete strangers asking to take your child away from your protective arms for visits. Since they are not in your local vicinity, this raises all kinds of complications. In short, as a grandparent I'd want to know but as the mother I think it would be best not to tell.

[germaine2626]

I know that your question was about telling the grandparents but please list contact an attorney about the legal rights for your child.


I know that you probably don't want very much to do with this jerk right now and probably think that you can support the child on your own but circumstances can change.

I have seen several situations where the mom wanted to go it alone and just get the baby's dad out of her life but it was the child who suffered in the long run. It's a long story but a dear friend of my son lived in poverty and sometimes didn't even have enough food to eat growing up while her biological dad "got his life together" and ending up with a job paying (perhaps) $200,000 a year. Mom had terminated his parental rights when his daughters were toddlers so he felt no obligation to help. ironically now that his children are adults he does have regular contact with them but has never contributed even a dime or given them one gift once his rights were terminated. Just don't do anything hasty.

Yes, I feel that the grandparents have a right to know about their grandchild. Don't just send them an announcement please contact them in another way. The suggestion that you give the baby's father a deadline to tell his parents is a good one. But he may spin the story in such a way to make you seem like the "bad guy" (ie. she was a stranger who raped me while I was drunk).

Good luck.

[ecaridad]

the way this missive is written I think you have other problems rather than grandparents. I have a problem with a 40 yrs old who says "My mom's gonna kill me!". I am sorry to say this but I think you may be raising this child by yourself. Please don't think that this is what I want or expect but this is what I fear. I will pray for you.

[purehuman]

prettywings...if I were the grandparent and you told me my 40 year old son was going to be a father I'd be singing HALLELULIA!!, and thanking my lucky stars that my son had finally found a woman to mother his child and my grandbaby...I think they would want to know...I hope you tell them...your baby should be given the chance to know them, and they should be given the chance to know the baby.......good luck, and congradulations..hope your pregnancy goes well.

[pvande55]

I could see waiting until closer to birth so you don't have to worry about losing the baby. They have the right to know even in the (unlikely) even they choose not to get involved. If they are the closest grandparents they could be a blessing in the future.