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Old 06-19-2015, 09:56 PM
 
5,046 posts, read 599,444 times
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With me, it would depend entirely on the woman and the circumstances.

For example, if my son had been killed fighting overseas, and a very nice young woman whom I did not know that he had been seeing (as might the case if he had been living his own life in another state) introduced herself to me by letter and enclosed a photo of the child and left it up to me if I would like to see them or communicate with them, I would welcome both her and the child with open arms.

However, if the child was the product of a short-term affair or a one-night stand, and the woman was "trashy" in any way and just showed up on my doorstep and angrily said that my son "owed" her but was refusing to do anything for her or the child, I would probably say, "That is not my problem" and close the door in her face, so to speak. That is probably harsh, but where I could accept the child, I could not accept that kind of woman into my life if I was not legally obligated to do so. However, if my son were to take "ownership" of the child (child support and at least occasional visits), I would then be willing to be involved in the child's life, as long as I did not have to see or communicate with the child's mother, also -- unless, by some miracle, my son married her and/or I came to believe that either she had changed or that I had misjudged her.

If I just received a birth announcement in the mail, though, I would talk to my son and make up my mind from there.
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Old 06-20-2015, 10:51 AM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,434 posts, read 41,620,437 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by linda814 View Post
Just noticed the date on this thread...wonder what ever happened???
Generally speaking it's a good topic for discussion but the first thing I look at on CD is the date. Surprised others don't. Now maybe a first-time poster but those of us who have been around should always look at the date first.
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Old 06-23-2015, 10:39 AM
 
Location: Scott County, Tennessee/by way of Detroit
3,330 posts, read 1,976,748 times
Reputation: 10245
Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
Generally speaking it's a good topic for discussion but the first thing I look at on CD is the date. Surprised others don't. Now maybe a first-time poster but those of us who have been around should always look at the date first.
I did and it was like June 15th....didn't notice the YEAR THOUGH....
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Old 03-24-2018, 11:43 PM
 
1 posts, read 307 times
Reputation: 20
Default For your child

So i have been battling this same issue. I know this is a old post, but for the people that read this now looking for input. so my situation is the standard screwing around, i got pregnant, he wanted a abortion. Although he is the one who insisted on no protection. anyways. I have this thing, about my belief that these are his parents, and it's none of my business what they do and don't know. You know what though ? It isn't about them Or even him. It is about my child knowing her family... yes her family. They are no longer just his family they are hers. so guess what?? It is no longer just his business they are HER FAMILY ALSO! so i am gonna speak on behalf of her. Not for them or to hurt him. For her! You can never have to much family I will do right by my child. no one ever mentions the kid. Seriously?They want something to do with her, that is Amazing if not, life will move on. As for them wanting nothing to with the child because he doesn't, who wants those kinda people in your childs life anways. That isn't just their child's child it it their grandchild. why is everyone acting like the mother is out to rob the grandparents. i can honestly say most mothers, are just trying to do right by their babies. With whom matter most.
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Old 05-09-2018, 12:57 PM
 
Location: New Britain, CT
582 posts, read 184,626 times
Reputation: 747
It's up to HIM to tell his parents, and geez, he's 40 and worried about what his parents think? He doesn't still live at home in a 35yo twin bed does he?

I think regardless of the circumstances, his parents will be elated to be grandparents. My situation is that 3 years ago we (me and my fiance, boy's mom) got invited to my fiance's mother's place to have a pasta dinner with them and her two kids and his girlfriend. He was 19 girlfriend 18..... we are sitting at the table chatting away, when her son slides something across the table to his mom.......ultrasound picture. She was like "what the phuk is this????? this is a joke, right?" Well, she is Oma and I am Grandpa (Jim). Oma is totally in grandma mode. She can't seem to buy this precious little girl enough stuff. We are an hour away and Oma works 6 days to get her 40, so she does not see the princess enough. Kid has two biological Grandpa's as well (Grandpa Joe and Grandpa Jay, but the girl's mom is out of the picture), but I'm pretty sure I'm the favorite, because when I can't make the trip, princess says "where Grandpa?".

And make sure the child gets dad's last name, and if things look shaky, make sure you go to court for child support. If you are both college grads, he is on the hook until the child is 22.
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