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I am retiring to help out my stepdaughter and her husband with childcare. She is a teacher and her husband is a firefighter. They both get a lot of days off so to help them with the childcare expenses I have volenteered to Babysit my 3 grandkids 3 days a week their ages are 3,2, and the new baby will be 6 mos old when she goes back to work. I am 61 and I want to know if there is certain things that i should know before starting this job. I haven't had a baby around for a long time and i want to do my best for them i feel very confident that i can do the job but i have been reading many other peoples messages about how tough it is and i would like to have some input from others that do this job. Thanks
Is this the only set of grandchildren involved? Keep in mind that what you do for one, you have to do for all, and if there are other step children or children out there, they too will want the free babysitting services they see this couple getting.
I know someone who raised a bunch of her own kids and then gladly helped out when the first grandchild came along, she had always been a stay at home mother so a job and income wasn't a consideration and she had the energy. Another daughter gave birth soon after and a daughter in-law. Pretty soon she was caring for 6 pre-school age children and then there were 4 new infants added in just one year and she threw in the towel and told them all to make other arrangements as she was done.
Once you start it, it can be pretty hard to back out. Parents get used to all the extra money they have from two incomes and free day care, and it can be tough to give up the luxuries later if you change your mind and decide you want some free time or enjoy travel or afternoons with your friends.
[quote=malamute;28490889]Is this the only set of grandchildren involved? Keep in mind that what you do for one, you have to do for all, and if there are other step children or children out there, they too will want the free babysitting services they see this couple getting.
I know someone who raised a bunch of her own kids and then gladly helped out when the first grandchild came along, she had always been a stay at home mother so a job and income wasn't a consideration and she had the energy. Another daughter gave birth soon after and a daughter in-law. Pretty soon she was caring for 6 pre-school age children and then there were 4 new infants added in just one year and she threw in the towel and told them all to make other arrangements as she was done.
Once you start it, it can be pretty hard to back out. Parents get used to all the extra money they have from two incomes and free day care, and it can be tough to give up the luxuries later if you change your mind and decide you want some free time or enjoy travel or afternoons with your friends.[/quote]
Oh My! Six preschoolers!
To the OP and other potential babysitting grandmas: Please consider what is written in blue. I have seen it happen several times.
I do this 2x/week for 2 children. It is very rewarding, very exhausting, and is over in few years. I think that it's a wonderful thing to provide for the formative years of a child --- just think of the love and attention that they will get from you that they would likely not get from a paid situation.
In the circle of life, this is but a blip on the screen, and the benefits to the children are enourmous and lifelong. So if you can do it, God bless!
That said, just expect to feel absolutely exhausted, every day that you are with them. And don't apologize or feel bad about that. It's hard! Damn right! And love them dearly. They will be too busy with activities before you know it, and there it went. Like a firefly in summer. You are making a huge contribution to society.
I do this 2x/week for 2 children. It is very rewarding, very exhausting, and is over in few years. I think that it's a wonderful thing to provide for the formative years of a child --- just think of the love and attention that they will get from you that they would likely not get from a paid situation.
In the circle of life, this is but a blip on the screen, and the benefits to the children are enourmous and lifelong. So if you can do it, God bless!
That said, just expect to feel absolutely exhausted, every day that you are with them. And don't apologize or feel bad about that. It's hard! Damn right! And love them dearly. They will be too busy with activities before you know it, and there it went. Like a firefly in summer. You are making a huge contribution to society.
Yes, I have been watching my grandchildren for 7 years and love every second of it BUT at 68 I am becoming exhausted. I am in traffic for 1 1/2 hours a day, still waitress 1 night a week, so 6 days a week, I am ON until summer because they are teachers.
Now they are home and I don't know what to do with myself!
Yes, I have been watching my grandchildren for 7 years and love every second of it BUT at 68 I am becoming exhausted. I am in traffic for 1 1/2 hours a day, still waitress 1 night a week, so 6 days a week, I am ON until summer because they are teachers.
Now they are home and I don't know what to do with myself!
You could use the summer to "recharge your batteries", like teachers or perhaps you could still care for grandchildren one day every week or two. I'm sure that your grandchildren miss you and you miss them. Maybe the parents can bring the grandchildren to your house so that they have a taste of the 1 1/2 hour commute for a while.
I'm expecting my first grandchild but he will live 1,000 miles away from me.
I could write a book, being a babysitting grandma for several years, and agree with all the advice you've received so far.
I think the number one thing to remember is to follow the mother's routine and instructions. My own mother-in-law, who rarely and I mean RARELY watched my kids, ignored my prohibition of hard candies and my 2 1/2 year old daughter almost choked to death. My daughter's m-i-l feeds our grandson prohibited foods (that constipate him) and totally ignores the eating and sleeping schedule he's used to. Well, you get the idea. I guess with some grandmas it's a power play, especially with d-i-l's.
So to keep peace, avoid that! And bless you, you're taking on quite a job!!
My DIL gave me rules to follow, but some of them, I have to admit, I simply couldn't do. Then she'd change her mind on something, but not tell me, then yell at me later. As an example, she told me not to feed the baby cereal. So I didn't. A few months later DIL asked me why I didn't feed her cereal. "Ummm, because one of YOUR rules was not to feed her that???" She had changed her mind about cereal, but never mentioned that to me. (And note to babysitting grandparents, get the "rules" in writing (i.e., an email). That way there is no, "Oh, I DID tell you, you just didn't listen (or you forgot, or you weren't paying attention, etc., etc.). I always had a back up when she'd start in on me. I'd go, "Well, send me the email where you told me, I guess I missed it." She knew then she was toast, because I knew I'd gotten no such new instructions.
A rule I just really couldn't do? I wasn't allowed to rock the baby. Seriously??? How the heck do you not hold a baby, kiss them, play with their little hands, touch their toes and rock them? We went the rounds on that one. I just did it anyway and took DIL's criticism, yelling and sarcasm. To this day, I don't regret, for one moment, every minute of staring into her beautiful little face while I held her and rocked her to sleep. (Granddaughter is 2 1/2 now.)
Power play indeed. And now DIL is pregnant again. Sigh............
Actually I belive the young mother should be the one takeing care of her 3 young ones.She is young and strong and can handle lifting and holding on a regular basis without totally hurting or wearing herself down.
I always stayed home and took care of our sons.I wouldnt even consider asking any of the Grandparents to take on that responsibility.
There is a good chance that 3 days a week will end up seeming alot longer.
It doesnt have anything to do with how much you love your childern and Grandchildren,its called faceing the facts.
I help out as much as I can with our only Grandchild of 9 mos. and love her dearly,she is even liveing with us along with my son and Daughterin law at the moment,but there is no way I would be physically able to take full care of Gracie even for 3 days a week.
But Im not in great health either so maybe it would be possible for someone else.
Anyway you look at this it is a big committment,your family should really cherish you for being so kind and giveing of yourself.
I do belive I would tell them I would do my best but if It became too much,that would have to forgive you.Life is always changeing,no one knows what tomorrow brings.Best of wishes and Prayers....
My mother (62) watches my two girls (2 and 3 months) twice a week. There was no question 2 years ago that she would help us out a couple of days a week but when I became pregnant again, we thought we'd be looking at daycare 5 days a week for 2 kids and re-evaluating if it was worth it for me to work. But, my mom has such a wonderful relationship with my older daughter and she did not want to give that up. My husband is a teacher, so she gets lots of "time off." It's really working out well for our family for now. I am forever grateful and thankful she's able and wants to do it. And the bond my older daughter has with her is just incredible. I'm looking forward to seeing the relationship develop between my youngest and my mother as well.
My wife is doing it with her grandchildren. It is not without conflict, but for her the good outweighs the bad and her son and his wife are grateful 90% of the time. I will say, though, that when she baby sits, 100% of her attention is focused on her grandchildren, no different than her approach to raising a truly amazing son!
I watch our two grand children for six months of the year in FL. We are snowbirds now and spend 1/2 a year in NY and the other half in FL. My DH is still working but can do his job from either location, so I do the babysitting.
With the first grandchild, the kids worked around a schedule where they were home to watch the kids with no daycare involved. The other grandparents were there to help out for six months and they were on their own for the other six. When two came, there was no way they could make that schedule work anymore. A week after we saw the second baby, we decided we weren't going to miss out on this one's first year.
So now the kids have us for half the year over the winter and the other set of grandparents for the other six months. The other grandparents have a home in another country and like to spend the spring/summer in FL. It's a great way to divide time between the grandparents and to share the grandkids. We have a great relationship with the other grands.
It is hard work, we had an only child, so two kids have been a really eye opener for me! Our kids are truly appreciative of everything I do for them. I tell my DIL that the kids are lucky to have her for a mother and I mean it. She's level headed and has fun with them. There are no hard and fast rules or schedules, just common sense used on both our parts.
I have car seats in my car for the kids and extra clothes, toys, a pack and play and portable high chair. I go over in the mornings to help my DS. He gets the older one ready for pre-school and I get the baby ready to go with me and pick up the pre-schooler later on. DIL works a night shift and comes home to sleep after we've left. Depending on their schedules, either one will come to pick up the kids at our house later on.
Some weeks will be full days and some half days and every fourth week DIL has seven days off in a row and I go over to swim or just have fun. There are days when I'm watching them and looking at the clock thinking, "Okay, I can do this, just a few more hours!" and days where I wonder where the time went to. The little one was walking at 10 months and it was non stop action right before I left. I'm grateful I got to enjoy him in the eat, sleep and change a diaper phase. I'm exercising and building up my stamina for when I return!
Last edited by jean-ji; 06-09-2013 at 08:08 PM..
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