U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting > Grandparents
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 03-04-2014, 12:42 AM
 
47,576 posts, read 60,432,430 times
Reputation: 22274

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by GER308 View Post
Kids need loving involved parents which has nothing to do with marriage.
They also need parents who provide the financial support for them -- which is not what these unwed parents do as the bulk of children growing up on welfare handouts are those born to single mothers.

It is a societal problem. Maybe the grandparents of these children their single children are having should show true love and provide the financial support so they don't become more government dependent statisitics.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 03-04-2014, 03:12 AM
 
Location: Monnem Germany/ from San Diego
2,263 posts, read 2,450,805 times
Reputation: 4699
I agree that parents need to provide Financial support. I am a divorced dad, my daughter lives with me now for over a year. She lived with her mom before. We both provide financial support and are involved but being married or not really makes no difference. If we had never been married it would have made no difference.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-04-2014, 03:47 PM
 
4,548 posts, read 9,718,833 times
Reputation: 3872
Quote:
Originally Posted by sheena12 View Post
My son does not date sexually active woman who are not on the birth control pill. He does not associate with young woman who want babies before marriage.
Then I hope you've taught him not to have sex at all before marriage if you want to be 100% sure he won't get someone pregnant. First of all, he has to hope the woman really is on the pill and is taking it correctly. And even then, I'm living proof you can get pregnant while on the pill. My mother jokes I was holding it in my hand when I was born.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
Younknow birth control is not 100% effective right? Yes, accidents do happen. Yes, some teens are irresponsible, yes, even some responsible teens from the best homes makes mistakes. You can reject the possibility all you want, it is still a possibility.
^This.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-05-2014, 12:36 AM
 
Location: somewhere flat
1,375 posts, read 1,208,811 times
Reputation: 4104
Abstinence is not the only way to avoid an unwanted pregnancy. A solid birth control plan along with a committed relationship with someone who shares your values, will prevent unwanted pregnancies. Promiscuity is never a wise idea.

What the OP said is that unplanned pregnancy is not a part of what is acceptable in certain classes. The OP said that these classes are the upper class and the upper middle class. I'd add at least half of the middle class.

We need to set the bar higher and to make birth control available to sexually active teenagers.

I have no idea why some people in their 40s and above are permissive about pregnant children. I don't know a better way to ruin the lives of three children.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-05-2014, 01:02 AM
 
12,528 posts, read 13,959,848 times
Reputation: 34293
Quote:
Originally Posted by Guineas View Post
It seems like our society is becoming more and more permissive of having children outside of marriage. For mothers under 30 years old, over 50% of children are now born outside of marriage. What used to be mainly a "minority problem" is now affecting much of the country. We all know the dreadful statistics for those children born outside of marriage: more likely to stay or fall into the lower socioeconomic classes, more likely to have fractured families, more like to perform poorly in school or go into crime.

How should the grandparents who raised their own children under marriage approach this? Many just shrug it off as a sign of the times and try to be supportive. But is it really that inevitable? Among the rich (non-celebrity) and upper middle class, the out of wedlock birth rate is still very low. It's almost like the lower and middle classes are self-destructing and easy-going attitudes of tolerance from the grandparents may in fact be worsening the situation.

How do you not approve and yet be supportive so you don't lose your children and grandchildren?
Having conceived a child out of wedlock does not mean that the woman is going to remain unmarried forever after.

I fathered a child a child out of wedlock. The mother married someone I knew, who raised the child as his son and was a fine father. My parents were kept totally uninformed as there was no reason they should play any part in the child's life, as they were grandparents only in the biological sense.

If the woman remains unmarried, obviously the chances for crippling problems for her and her child/children are endless.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-05-2014, 04:22 PM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
18,575 posts, read 23,088,653 times
Reputation: 48508
Quote:
Originally Posted by kevxu View Post
Having conceived a child out of wedlock does not mean that the woman is going to remain unmarried forever after.

I fathered a child a child out of wedlock. The mother married someone I knew, who raised the child as his son and was a fine father. My parents were kept totally uninformed as there was no reason they should play any part in the child's life, as they were grandparents only in the biological sense.

If the woman remains unmarried, obviously the chances for crippling problems for her and her child/children are endless.

Having a child out of wedlock statistically reduces the possibility of ever marrying.

In addition, PEDOPHILES are attracted to unwed mothers with children.

These are facts, not opinions.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-09-2014, 11:28 AM
 
Location: Missouri
6,047 posts, read 21,595,107 times
Reputation: 5051
Sheena, please share with us any data you have whatsoever, on pedophiles being especially attracted to unwed mothers with children?!? I would love to see the details of that study!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-10-2014, 05:46 PM
 
10,026 posts, read 9,190,251 times
Reputation: 5893
I think having children out of wedlock is wrong and something that shouldn't be encouraged. Had I become pregnant my parents would have forced me to adopt out and they would have been right. Teens are not equipped. However, many of these out of wedlock pregnancies are the result of our generous welfare system. I guarantee if we went back to stigmatizing this we would see less. Incidentally, I don't date dads and never would, but consider divorced dads in a higher class than never married dads, especially those with multiple baby mamas.

Last edited by Jaded; 03-15-2014 at 02:37 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-10-2014, 09:07 PM
 
Location: here
24,839 posts, read 29,948,295 times
Reputation: 32382
Quote:
Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou View Post
I think having children out of wedlock is wrong and something that shouldn't be encouraged. Had I become pregnant my parents would have forced me to adopt out and they would have been right. Teens are not equipped. However, many of these out of wedlock pregnancies are the result of our generous welfare system. I guarantee if we went back to stigmatizing this we would see less. Incidentally, I don't date dads and never would, but consider divorced dads in a higher class than never married dads, especially those with multiple baby mamas.
I don't see how accepting what has already happened is the same as "encouraging" it. And why are some posters assuming all out of wedlock children are born to teens? Hardly.

Last edited by Jaded; 03-15-2014 at 02:37 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-11-2014, 09:26 AM
 
9,114 posts, read 9,202,784 times
Reputation: 28535
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
I don't see how accepting what has already happened is the same as "encouraging" it. And why are some posters assuming all out of wedlock children are born to teens? Hardly.
Whether they are born to teens or older women, one key fact is that a very high percentage of these births are paid for by medicaid. That is "welfare". There are hospitals in some locations where 70% to 80% of the births are paid for by medicaid. Its not fair to the public and its not fair to children who are born in such circumstances.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting > Grandparents
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. | Please obey Forum Rules | Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top