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Of course not. Your daughter is the one being selfish. Stay calm, stick to the facts, and tell her the free care has to end.
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Originally Posted by JrzDefector
Your daughter is taking advantage of you. Look, divorce made my mother act like quite a monster too.
Tell her she pays you or she has to find another source of care. You are not being selfish in wanting to remain in your home and retain your car. She's the one who's being selfish and only looking out for her own interests. You raised her - you don't have any obligations to her past 18.
Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu
That is all well and fine but what about room and board for staying in your home? That may sound cruel but how is charging an 18 year old room and board any different than charging the same for a grown daughter who has come home with a child? If she pays you for taking care of the child will you still be able to meet your financial obligations without added stress/ What about your job prospects if you are out of the market for too much longer?
Seems to me just paying you to keep her child and not taking into consideration your own future still makes her very selfish. I know we all want to help out of children in special times of need but seems to me if she was so blind as to not see our situation until you had to speak to her, she will still be unable to to see past her own needs. IMHO.
sadly, I have seen bad several situations where the grandmother has basically ruined her life because of caring for her grandchild/ren without any pay or for grossly adequate pay.
In one case the grandmother couldn't work because she cared for the grandchild full time until he started school. The selfish daughter thought nothing of going on expensive vacations, eating at expensive restaurants and living the good life while her mother could barely buy groceries or pay the electric bill. when grandmother hit Social Security age her check was very, very small because she did have a paying job for so many years.
In another case, the daughter bragged to others that she never had her child in day care, before or after school care or ever left her child with a babysitter, EVER his entire life. Well, Grandma & Grandpa took care of him every day full time, plus the three or four nights a week when the daughter and her husband would go out partying, to dart ball leagues and on dates. The stress (both physical and financial) may of even caused (or exacerbated) the severe health problems that the elderly grandparents faced. Again, both daughter and son in law were working and did not pay even one thin dime to the grandparents. It really wasn't fair.
sadly, I have seen bad several situations where the grandmother has basically ruined her life because of caring for her grandchild/ren without any pay or for grossly adequate pay.
In one case the grandmother couldn't work because she cared for the grandchild full time until he started school. The selfish daughter thought nothing of going on expensive vacations, eating at expensive restaurants and living the good life while her mother could barely buy groceries or pay the electric bill. when grandmother hit Social Security age her check was very, very small because she did NOT have a paying job for so many years.
In another case, the daughter bragged to others that she never had her child in day care, before or after school care or ever left her child with a babysitter, EVER his entire life. Well, Grandma & Grandpa took care of him every day full time, plus the three or four nights a week when the daughter and her husband would go out partying, to dart ball leagues and on dates. The stress (both physical and financial) may of even caused (or exacerbated) the severe health problems that the elderly grandparents faced. Again, both daughter and son in law were working and did not pay even one thin dime to the grandparents. It really wasn't fair.
Oops, missed important word that changed the sentence. Not.
sadly, I have seen bad several situations where the grandmother has basically ruined her life because of caring for her grandchild/ren without any pay or for grossly adequate pay.
In one case the grandmother couldn't work because she cared for the grandchild full time until he started school. The selfish daughter thought nothing of going on expensive vacations, eating at expensive restaurants and living the good life while her mother could barely buy groceries or pay the electric bill. when grandmother hit Social Security age her check was very, very small because she did have a paying job for so many years.
In another case, the daughter bragged to others that she never had her child in day care, before or after school care or ever left her child with a babysitter, EVER his entire life. Well, Grandma & Grandpa took care of him every day full time, plus the three or four nights a week when the daughter and her husband would go out partying, to dart ball leagues and on dates. The stress (both physical and financial) may of even caused (or exacerbated) the severe health problems that the elderly grandparents faced. Again, both daughter and son in law were working and did not pay even one thin dime to the grandparents. It really wasn't fair.
I have known several situations very (eerily!) similar to the one you outline.
It never ends well b/c it always ends with Grandma (and possibly Grandpa) being exhausted, going through their savings prematurely and ending up in difficult situations with their health or their $$$ - and sometimes, both.
It is easy for us to feel we "have to help" b/c we are worried about our g/child's welfare and future, but in the end, this type of situation is abusive towards the g/parents as well as disrespectful of their needs and their age limitations.
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