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Old 01-19-2014, 03:01 PM
 
Location: NYC
112 posts, read 101,897 times
Reputation: 310

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My children used to spend weekends at my husband's parents' home at least once a month. Now that they are older they have a loving and close relationship with my husband's sisters because of this. My husband passed away a couple of years ago.

My first grandchild is 3 and I've had him sleep over several times since he's at least 2. We call it our day of fun and both get to enjoy each other's company one on one so to speak. He gets special time alone with grandma and my daughter and son who still live with me.

I have 2 other younger grandchildren and another on the way and I plan to do the same with them. I have to say it's enjoyable for both of us.

I was particularly close with my grandparents for the same reason. Grandparents enrich a child's life.

Last edited by NYGirl1002; 01-19-2014 at 03:02 PM.. Reason: forgot to add something
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Old 01-20-2014, 03:49 AM
 
3,043 posts, read 6,297,554 times
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I am 35 now and my grandma passed when I was 13 but I would sleep over there. I was not close with my grandfather but I have such fond memories of times with my grandma and spending the night. I saw her of course during the day and sleep overs were not that often but I have such happy memories. We would play games, sing songs, I put makeup on her, have special foods I did not have at home. She would lay with me till I feel asleep. My grandma was the best.
OP I guess it depends on the relationship between the children and their grandparents. If it is a good one I just feel it is about making memories.
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Old 01-21-2014, 12:50 AM
 
Location: a little bit of everywhere
87 posts, read 110,296 times
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They want more grandbabies, and figure if you're kid-free for the night you might deliver.
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Old 01-21-2014, 08:13 AM
 
Location: Greater NYC
2,857 posts, read 4,692,865 times
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Your entire post is about YOU and how the grandparents wanting to spend ample time with their grandchildren affects YOU. Then you go on to indicate that YOU have asked them to babysit in the first place:

Quote:
Originally Posted by KH02 View Post
It gets to the point where every time I ask them to babysit they try to turn it into a sleepover.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KH02 View Post
We are not asking them to babysit late at night. I'm talking any time of day is turned into pushing a sleepover on us.
I would be far more concerned about the self-centered example you are setting for your kids and family versus your generous parents wanting to cultivate relationships with their grandchildren by spending ample time with them.

And for the record, I would love the opportunity for my children to spend the night with either of our parents but it's not possible since we live far away and rarely get to see them.
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Old 01-21-2014, 09:25 AM
 
Location: Wonderland
40,885 posts, read 32,642,286 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KH02 View Post
Is it just me or are today's grandparents obsessed with sleepovers? Both sets of grandparents always talk about having the kids overnight. They both live nearby and see the kids plenty. I don't see then need for kids of any age to sleepover. Dropping them off for the day is fine because you can do things with them and have fun. Why the need to have them sleep there? All they do is sleep.

When I was young I never ONCE slept at either grandparents houses and I LOVED spending time with my grandparents and saw them all the time. It gets to the point where every time I ask them to babysit they try to turn it into a sleepover. They always let the kids stay up past their bedtime and spoil them to death. Then when they get home they are tired whinny messes. They act rude and entitled and cranky for 48 hrs afterwards.

It's not worth it to me and I see no benefit. So whats the deal with this? Isn't spending the day with grandkids enough?

Also to add: We are not asking them to babysit late at night. I'm talking any time of day is turned into pushing a sleepover on us.
I think the tone of this query is a bit odd. What's WRONG with kids spending the night at their grandparents' house (assuming that the grandparents aren't abusive or dangerous to be around of course)?

I have seven grandkids ranging in age from 3 to 11. Let me tell you something, we ALL love for them to spend the night over at my house occasionally. I don't mean all at once, of course - but one or two at a time. They love it love it love it love it and my husband and I do too.

We always do something special with them that evening - take them to a movie, or watch movies together at home. They get to get in our hot tub, which is a treat for them since they don't have one. They sleep in the guest room, which is full of toys and decorated with kids in mind. I lay down with them after tucking them in and tell them stories about when I was a kid, and when their parents were kids. Sometimes in the morning they get up and come crawl in bed with us for some snuggling. I always make a big, special breakfast - usually waffles topped with fruit and whipped cream.

One of their favorite things to do is have "Backwards Day" at MiMi's house. That means I wake them up with "Good night, sleep tight!" as I back into their room in the morning. Then they put on their shirts or robes backwards and walk backwards into the kitchen, where I feed them "dessert" for breakfast (fancy sundae dishes full of yogurt topped with whipped cream and fruit). We play this theme out for a couple of hours and off and on throughout the day - for instance, if they go play outside, and they come back inside I'll shout "Goodbye!" at them - and they may remember to walk backwards into the house. Sometimes before a meal I'll say, "Did you brush your teeth?" and after the meal I'll say, "OK, wash your hands!" That sort of silly stuff.

Meanwhile, the parents are getting a break and loving it.

It's a win win. I've been doing sleepovers at my house with my grandkids since they were each about a year old. Everyone loves it!
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Old 01-21-2014, 10:01 AM
 
Location: Consciousness
659 posts, read 919,504 times
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There is something about waking up to the sparkle of young bright optimistic eyes...
I imagine that is what I will cherish whenever I become a grandmother. It's definitely one of the 100's of things I cherish about my children now and it's not something that last forever, leaves around the teen years...when they start oversleeping or waking up grouchy.

My best grandparent memories include...
scratch cooked meals and rich conversation (no rushing, no tv while eating)
radio news playing in the background while one grandmother cooked breakfast, still love talk radio to this day
making balloon wine at 12, sewing and learning to bake
watching the Price is Right, 60 min and even the quirky televangelist
taking taxi's and subways (neither grandmother drove) or even bus tours for mini vacations and tours to the monuments
going to Woolworth for roasted peanuts and candy corn or JR's in NY for Cheesecake
BINGO halls, playing scrabble and PoKENO,
Having my opinions and thoughts validated
Shoe shopping based upon quality and comfort, not style and price
Going through books, drawers and closets that were full of "artifacts" like a great history museum
The fact that all instructions came with clear explanations and were delivered with patience
Hugs and cuddles that seemed more long lasting and endearing than those my parents gave


when you honor relationships and elders in general then RECIPROCITY is easy
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Old 01-21-2014, 12:21 PM
 
122 posts, read 132,914 times
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If I didn't live 1500 miles away from my grandbabies, you'd better believe I'd want sleepovers at least a couple times a month. I know neither of my kids would object, either. Are your kids' grandparents inadequately prepared to care for the kids? Are the kids in danger while they're there? Or is your only concern about how YOU feel? If you know that the grandparents are going to "push" for a sleepover, why even ask them to babysit? Hire a paid babysitter to come watch the kids at your house, if it's that big a deal for you.
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Old 01-24-2014, 09:08 AM
 
Location: Charlotte Area
3,165 posts, read 2,895,274 times
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I grew up spending summers and school holidays staying at the my grandparents house. I helped my grandma clean the house in the mornings and then we went out and did something fun after that. She always something planned. Going to McD's or to a pool, park, movie or to get ice cream. I have great memories.

I would love it if my in laws wanted the kids to come and stay the night more. They watched them 2 years ago for 5 days (they were in preschool during the day)while DH and I went on a cruise. They also watched them over night one night about a year ago and they also took them to the beach for 2 nights with their cousins and aunts and uncles. We weren't asked about the timing of the trip and DH had to work. They often make comments that they don't know how other grandparents do it having their grandkids over so often so I think it's just them. Their parents didn't do it for them so it's not something they do often. My MIL often says that she doesn't have anything to do since they retired 3 years ago.

My mom lives 6 + hours away and when we lived 3 miles from them never spent much time with them unless I took them over there. Now, she wants them to come for a week to visit and I'm not comfortable doing that.
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Old 05-03-2014, 05:15 AM
 
Location: Paranaguá, Brazil
111 posts, read 227,959 times
Reputation: 119
My grandparents always did it with me and my siblings. I enjoyed it. My paternal grandparents even do it with some of their great-grandchildren. I actually still sleep over there sometimes. My parents don't usually do it with my oldest sister's kids because me and my older sister are still at home.

Grandparents tend to spoil their grandchildren because usually they're not the ones taking care of the grandchildren. It's different for grandparents who do raise their grandchildren - one of my friends lives with her grandparents and she says they've grounded her and taken away her computer when she misbehaved.
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Old 06-19-2016, 07:21 AM
 
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Why do some grandparents think junk food has to be part of spoiling the kids. If the kids are fortunate enough to have parents who care that they eat healthy, the grandparents should be able to eat healthy too for the days the grandkids are with them. There are plenty of other ways to spoil the grandkids!

These days kids are often raised on chemically laden packaged convenience food. Unfortunately, grandparents who think they're spoiling the kids often are just offering more of the same junk they get every day. I found with my grandkids that when they ask for the chocolate milk that they're used to having at home, I just poured them the regular milk without explanation, and they never complained and seemed not to even care.

I love having the grandkids spend the night mostly for cheerful mornings. But, I would caution extra safety for young kids that can get up in the middle of the night and may try to leave the house while you are sleeping, consider using a safety gate and a monitor. My 2 year granddaughter almost made it out of our house in the dead of winter. Thank goodness I woke up!
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