U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting > Grandparents
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 01-10-2014, 07:46 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,856 posts, read 17,163,830 times
Reputation: 40667

Advertisements

I wanted to share a heart warming story.

This was our grandson's first Christmas. I was a little concerned because we had very few gifts under our tree. This was for a variety of reasons, mainly financial but also because both my husband and I have had some health issues this fall. Between working myself almost to the point of exhaustion on the job, caring for my disabled spouse, being hospitalized two weeks before Christmas and having surgery a week before Christmas my shopping time was extremely limited.

I had selected two really nice infant/toddler level books (both with sound effects), a stuffed animal book buddy, and a really cute newborn Santa outfit (for him to wear on Christmas Day). Our son & DIL have several friends with children only slightly older than their son and received dozens and dozens of baby outfits and baby supplies from them so they did not want or need any new baby clothes or accessories. In fact, they specifically told us "not to go wild" with gifts but I was still a little worried about how few presents we had to give our new grandbaby.

My husband's parents had always given many, many, many presents to their grandchildren (our son & daughter). They frequently had dozens of presents under the tree for them. Often there were so many presents that they almost covered the entire side of their living room, as they couldn't even fit under the tree. Frankly, I was a little concerned about the very dramatic difference between our son's experience with presents from grandparents and what we were giving our grandson.

Our son & DIL seemed pleased with the presents that they and their son received but I didn't really know how they felt. However, that changed when my daughter told me that her brother (our son) confided to her how happy he was that we had not "over indulged" and "over bought" presents like his grandparents did for him when he was young.

So, all of you grandparents don't just assume that "the more presents the better", perhaps it is not the case. Of course, every family is different but I am happy that "less is more" in our family.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-13-2014, 08:16 AM
 
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, originally from SF Bay Area
29,455 posts, read 53,978,560 times
Reputation: 30635
We had a similar reaction. The parents have to store them, and in some cases suffer with the noise many of the modern toys make. In fact, several of the presents we got for our grandchild have remained at our house to play with when they come over or he spends the night with us.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-13-2014, 10:05 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
21,515 posts, read 14,148,189 times
Reputation: 30027
We always coordinate with my adult child about the grands. I think we have settled on three presents per child, and the presents don't have to be all big.

My mother always bought many presents for her grands, and she did this for most of her life. My family seems content to buy fewer presents, frankly.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-14-2014, 06:57 AM
 
741 posts, read 1,062,885 times
Reputation: 1214
My goodness I would have loved if the grandparnts had stuck to just a few things, not multiple laundry baskets full of plastic toys from yard sales. Our toddler was totally overwhelmed and we've already had to make 99% of the items go away due to small parts / being broken / not having their use identifiable etc.

It's the way they express their love though, so I'm not going to raise holy heck about it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-14-2014, 11:09 AM
 
Location: The analog world
17,087 posts, read 9,777,963 times
Reputation: 22731
As a parent whose children are inundated with gifts from well-meaning grandparents every holiday season, let me send a big THANK YOU for showing restraint. My husband and I have always stuck by the three gifts for Christmas rule: one from Mom, one from Dad, and one from Santa. (The kids also exchange gifts among themselves, but I don't count them in my tally.) In flush years the gifts are a bit more extravagant, but there are only three. I wish the kids' grandparents would give just one or two, but they go completely overboard, and any attempts to rein them in have failed.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-15-2014, 12:39 PM
 
Location: Texas
1,029 posts, read 1,210,888 times
Reputation: 1985
Your grandchild is a baby, he doesn't need a lot of gifts. I think what you chose is very thoughtful - things that will make memories (the outfit) or allow the baby cuddle-time (books and the lovey).

My xMIL loves to give to the children, and she buys them presents for every holiday, no matter how small. It is irritating to see the kids get this big package for Valentine's Day, when it isn't a holiday that we the parents deliberately chose to de-emphasize. I know she wants her grandchildren to have exactly the same types of holidays, etc that her children had, but...that isn't what the parents want.

I'd much rather that my parents and grandparents give the gift of time and memories rather than give tons of presents. I try to do that - I've given my sister and her son zoo memberships, concert tickets, etc. And books. Every kid in the family gets a book for Christmas.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-15-2014, 12:45 PM
 
741 posts, read 1,062,885 times
Reputation: 1214
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aggiebuttercup View Post
I'd much rather that my parents and grandparents give the gift of time and memories rather than give tons of presents. I try to do that - I've given my sister and her son zoo memberships, concert tickets, etc. And books. Every kid in the family gets a book for Christmas.
This is sooooo awesome, I completely forgot about how my gift from my Grandfather was a trip out with just him, to eat lunch and browse Barnes & Nobles with him for hours. He's hand me a $100 bill and we'd go into Barnes and Nobles and debate the value / worth of each selection. Memory making gifts are the best.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-15-2014, 01:35 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,856 posts, read 17,163,830 times
Reputation: 40667
It is nice to see how some families limit the toys and "objects" and emphasize experiences. We hope to be that type of grandparents.

My parents were like that, too. In fact they never gave gifts to their grandchildren. Yes, you read that right, no baptism gifts, no Christmas presents, no birthday presents, no graduation presents. Sometimes my father would find a special rock or four-leaf clover and give it to a grandchild. He occasionally write a poem just for them. My mother would teach her granddaughters how to make her famous apple crisp and write long newsy letters to her grandkids. Both parents would share stories about their childhood. No presents but, they gave the gift of time, love and teaching new skills. I should note that my parents greatly valued education and did give each of their nine grandchildren very generous financial gifts to help pay for college.

Of course, it is not a criticism of my husband's parents who gave dozens and dozens of gifts a year to each grandchild. (although, fewer gifts would have been nice). Each family needs to find out what works the best for them. It is great when parents & grandparents think the same way about gifts.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting > Grandparents
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. | Please obey Forum Rules | Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top