Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
OP....Maybe you can compromise. Maybe when you and your husband are going to take time off and stick around your home, and spend time with them when they are visiting, the G.Parents can come visit you....And, when you want them to babysit...the kids can go to them...Sounds fair to me. If they are only to babysit...they should be able to do it where they are comfortable...If they are to be your guests, then treat them like guests...They might enjoy it enough to come more often...
It's your call, of course, but it sounds like the grandparents are interactive, loving, and plan lots of fun activities for the kids when they visit. When I was a kid, my grandparents and aunts and uncles were the same way, and I LOVED visiting them for a week or so at a time! Your kids seem to enjoy these visits as well. Let love happen. Let them build memories this way - don't spoil it by being petty or playing tit for tat or Your Turn Now. Your parents are older and it's harder for them to be as flexible - you are blessed to have parents who are so willing to watch children for days and days at a time. My parents wouldn't watch my kids for more than an hour or two!
I think visiting and babysitting are different things. I think they should take turns visiting. But if they are doing you the favor of watching them they get to decide where.
It is just so much more comfortable for the old people to be in their own home..Their own beds. When the kids are there they are eating Gramps food. What is the big deal.I don't mind watching kids BUT it will be at my home.
When I was a child I used to love going to stay with relatives. I remember those trips much more than I ever remember them coming to stay at my house.
It's a matter of perspective. Going to Grandma & Grandpa's is an adventure for the children. Having Grandma & Grandpa come to them, isn't. And quite frankly, if missing "activities" during a five-day stay at their grandparents is a serious consideration ... they are involved in too many "activities."
" It's not a "waste" of time. I just don't want to get into a pattern where this becomes standard - the expectation, requirement or default."
What I am hearing is that even though your parents are already doing you a huge favor by watching your kids so you can go on vacation with your husband, you are expecting them to do even more for you considering you and your spouse work F/T and your parents are retired and seemingly do nothing.
Be thankful you have parents that want to watch your kids (and actually do REALLY fun activities like the zoo and such) and learn to bend over backwards for them in appreciation of what they do for you. And maybe don't forget to send them a thank-you note and a gift after your trip.
You should take your kids to see their Grand Parents....is proving your point worth what it is costing your kids...I think NOT! And...Your kids are going to say the same about you...My parents wouldn't take us to see our Grand Parents...They believed kids should be at home. Think about this..
I did -- and still do. I've spent tens of thousands of dollars making these trips, several of them, every year since the kids were babies (almost 20 years!). Unfortunately, finances have not permitted us to travel since mid-2012, and since the grandparents have never once offered to help out, that means no trip.
OP, since this is a "can you watch the kids while we go on this trip" request, I agree with the others; you should schlep the kids across the border. However, if you sense a pattern of the grandparents wanting to stay put while you and the kids do all the schlepping, I think you should discuss this with your parents, get to the root of why they feel this way, and figure out how you're going to deal with it from the get-go. Otherwise, you have years of resentment ahead of you.
I grew up in a household where I never saw my grandparents unless they came to us. My parents were adamant that kids should be in their own homes and the grandparents should travel to them. Unfortunately, this belief has been thrown out completely now that they're grandparents themselves. The reality? They're not traveling anywhere, and if that means a few years without seeing the grandkids, so be it.
I would move heaven and earth to have my remotely-located relatives visit us/the kids, but I can't force them. Consequently, my kids do not have the kinds of relationships with their grandparents that I'd envisioned when I was young and starry-eyed-stupid. I mourn this for my kids, but ultimately it's the grandparents who are losing out on getting to know my children, and that's a real shame.
Did they relocate or did you relocate?
That can make the big difference. I moved away so I felt it was MY responsibility to make at least annual trips back home so my kids could know their relatives. It was also my MY costs. It also gave my kids the fun of taking long trips and the best memories. They never had a problem writing one of those "what I did for summer vacation" papers.
I did -- and still do. I've spent tens of thousands of dollars making these trips, several of them, every year since the kids were babies (almost 20 years!). Unfortunately, finances have not permitted us to travel since mid-2012, and since the grandparents have never once offered to help out, that means no trip.
It can be very difficult for retirees on fixed incomes to come up with tens of thousands of dollars -- if it's hard for working age people with jobs to afford them, imagine how much tougher for those living on social security. But it also depends a lot on who moved away from the family in the first place.
If the retirees moved to Florida, then they can't expect everyone visit them all the time. If they stayed put and the others moved away then the others return home to visit loved ones.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
