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Old 04-22-2014, 07:49 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
17,047 posts, read 17,361,139 times
Reputation: 41428

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Quote:
Originally Posted by beera View Post
I am not sure if this is a social security thing, as it is, my mom is set for life and wouldn't even need SS. Does everyone get SS regardless of their income?

I just meant I was told it's better to use a flexible spending account so my taxable income is lower and I pay less taxes overall vs. claiming a child care credit. Does that make sense? I'm still trying to make sense of it!

The benefit of not paying child care of course would be an extra $6k/year to pay off our SL's or put towards the baby or something.

I just found this link so I'm going to read more into it:
Tax rules for paying family for in-home care - TaxWatch - MarketWatch

I'm still trying to work this out, but I think it boils down to my mom saying that because all her income comes from her properties, she cannot claim any expenses because she doesn't work (IDK how that's possible), BUT if she claims she makes $6 grand/year from a job she can start deducting expenses again? I don't see how she can't deduct things like property taxes, maintenance, etc, on her income properties.

ETA: under Tax benefits it says:
  1. The Child and Dependent Care Credit – Form 2441. Up to $3,000 per child or dependent (up to two dependents) can be used toward this credit. The credit is typically worth up to $1,200 for two dependents. It’s a nonrefundable credit, so it can only be used to reduce your taxes to zero. Instead of using that credit, set aside up to $5,000 in your flexible spending account to pay your parent and get reimbursed. This saves you more than $1,700 for combined federal and state tax brackets of 30% or more. It reduces your adjusted gross income, increasing other credits and deductions.
So for us doing an FSA of $5k would be better than claiming only $3k in child care credit. I THINK.
SS is a complicated issue. If you have paid into SS enough quarters/years you will get it, the amount will vary depending on how much you have earned over your top 35 (?) years of employment. A married, widowed or divorced person can get SS on their spouses income depending on various factors. A person who paid into SS the correct amount of years will be able to collect SS no matter how wealthy they are (of course, depends on lots of factors).

It does seem unusual that your mother can't deduct maintenance, repairs. property taxes, etc. on her income properties unless she has an income from a job but it may be something strange about her specific situation.

It just stuck me as so very odd (even sort of "fishy") that your mom went from almost begging you to have children with the promise of providing free child care to almost demanding $500 a month in payment.

As long as you figure out what is best for you and your family. Good luck to you.

Last edited by germaine2626; 04-22-2014 at 07:59 PM..
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Old 04-22-2014, 08:55 PM
 
2,839 posts, read 4,991,821 times
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That's cuz my mom is GREEDY, plain and simple. And she doesn't think things through.

She always does stuff like that to her kids. When I got married she wanted me to have a huge wedding with 200 people. I told her I can't afford it and that we were just going to get married at the court house or wherever and then just have a small get together with friends. She said that she would pay for it. I said okay, so she paid for it all. After the wedding, a few months later, she asked me for $15 grand to cover the wedding expenses, saying that she wasn't giving me the money, she was letting me borrow it. I laughed and was like um NO, the wedding was 180 guests of people I barely knew (all her friends, literally my friends and hubby's were like 2 tables). The rest of my family shamed her then at least and told her that she kept telling everyone that she was paying for it, blah blah, and that she never once told me nor anyone else it was a loan.

I know that sounds entitled and ungrateful but she does things like that ALL.THE.TIME. We all call her an Indian Giver, she offers things all the time, but then when she thinks about it, she changes her mind, or she changes her mind AFTER the fact.

I won't lie I'm not THRILLED to be paying $6 grand a month when it could have been zero, but I have no choice at this point because I would rather my child be around family than strangers. And it is a good deal for a nanny... Hubby and I will just have to take a few years longer to pay off our debts than we wanted to.

I don't prepare my mom's taxes (way too complicated for me), but I help her prepare what to take to her tax person and I know most of the time she tries to list things you can't deduct on your taxes, but I have always put in her costs for her property expenses and taxes and told her no for the items she can't (though I suspect she adds them in later) and that's probably what the guy is telling her she can't deduct, but she lumps it all together as not being able to claim anything.

I should ask to look at her taxes, I bet I'd see deductions!
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Old 04-22-2014, 09:34 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
17,047 posts, read 17,361,139 times
Reputation: 41428
Quote:
Originally Posted by beera View Post
That's cuz my mom is GREEDY, plain and simple. And she doesn't think things through.

She always does stuff like that to her kids. When I got married she wanted me to have a huge wedding with 200 people. I told her I can't afford it and that we were just going to get married at the court house or wherever and then just have a small get together with friends. She said that she would pay for it. I said okay, so she paid for it all. After the wedding, a few months later, she asked me for $15 grand to cover the wedding expenses, saying that she wasn't giving me the money, she was letting me borrow it. I laughed and was like um NO, the wedding was 180 guests of people I barely knew (all her friends, literally my friends and hubby's were like 2 tables). The rest of my family shamed her then at least and told her that she kept telling everyone that she was paying for it, blah blah, and that she never once told me nor anyone else it was a loan.

I know that sounds entitled and ungrateful but she does things like that ALL.THE.TIME. We all call her an Indian Giver, she offers things all the time, but then when she thinks about it, she changes her mind, or she changes her mind AFTER the fact.

I won't lie I'm not THRILLED to be paying $6 grand a month when it could have been zero, but I have no choice at this point because I would rather my child be around family than strangers. And it is a good deal for a nanny... Hubby and I will just have to take a few years longer to pay off our debts than we wanted to.

I don't prepare my mom's taxes (way too complicated for me), but I help her prepare what to take to her tax person and I know most of the time she tries to list things you can't deduct on your taxes, but I have always put in her costs for her property expenses and taxes and told her no for the items she can't (though I suspect she adds them in later) and that's probably what the guy is telling her she can't deduct, but she lumps it all together as not being able to claim anything.

I should ask to look at her taxes, I bet I'd see deductions!
This post helps me understand your mom's change from free to $500 a month. And I can see why your family refers to her as an Indian Giver. The story about her asking for the $15,000 back for your wedding was especially interesting.
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Old 04-22-2014, 10:27 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 92,318,555 times
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It sounds like you would be better off paying for daycare. Your mother doesn't sound stable. I anticipate that she is going to interfere with your parenting. If you do use your mother, it's a good thing you will be paying her $500 because it won't be a huge financial burden when you suddenly have to switch to daycare after she becomes unreliable or drives you crazy.
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Old 04-22-2014, 10:43 PM
 
2,839 posts, read 4,991,821 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
It sounds like you would be better off paying for daycare. Your mother doesn't sound stable. I anticipate that she is going to interfere with your parenting. If you do use your mother, it's a good thing you will be paying her $500 because it won't be a huge financial burden when you suddenly have to switch to daycare after she becomes unreliable or drives you crazy.
We'll see how it goes, for sure if she continues to overstep her boundaries we'll just find another daycare. And she'll complain and tell the whole world how ungrateful her children are. I will return back to work just before Thanksgiving, and then from there I will see if she can handle it or not lol.

If she can't I'll find another daycare and deal with her until I do.

*Crossing my fingers* Hope for the best but prepare for the worst right?
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Old 04-23-2014, 03:22 PM
 
3,416 posts, read 3,224,610 times
Reputation: 3853
Quote:
Originally Posted by beera View Post
That's cuz my mom is GREEDY, plain and simple. And she doesn't think things through.

She always does stuff like that to her kids. When I got married she wanted me to have a huge wedding with 200 people. I told her I can't afford it and that we were just going to get married at the court house or wherever and then just have a small get together with friends. She said that she would pay for it. I said okay, so she paid for it all. After the wedding, a few months later, she asked me for $15 grand to cover the wedding expenses, saying that she wasn't giving me the money, she was letting me borrow it. I laughed and was like um NO, the wedding was 180 guests of people I barely knew (all her friends, literally my friends and hubby's were like 2 tables). The rest of my family shamed her then at least and told her that she kept telling everyone that she was paying for it, blah blah, and that she never once told me nor anyone else it was a loan.

I know that sounds entitled and ungrateful but she does things like that ALL.THE.TIME. We all call her an Indian Giver, she offers things all the time, but then when she thinks about it, she changes her mind, or she changes her mind AFTER the fact.

I won't lie I'm not THRILLED to be paying $6 grand a month when it could have been zero, but I have no choice at this point because I would rather my child be around family than strangers. And it is a good deal for a nanny... Hubby and I will just have to take a few years longer to pay off our debts than we wanted to.

I don't prepare my mom's taxes (way too complicated for me), but I help her prepare what to take to her tax person and I know most of the time she tries to list things you can't deduct on your taxes, but I have always put in her costs for her property expenses and taxes and told her no for the items she can't (though I suspect she adds them in later) and that's probably what the guy is telling her she can't deduct, but she lumps it all together as not being able to claim anything.

I should ask to look at her taxes, I bet I'd see deductions!
This sounds like my mom! We could be sisters. I used to rent my mom's condo and she used to change the amount of rent I owed every few months. It got to be comical. She offered to watch our kids when they were younger. She told me she would do it a couple of days a week but then was put out she couldn't chose the days every week (the kids would have went to daycare the other days). She ended up not doing it (she just never mentioned it again) and then offered the same thing to my sister (my sister's MIL already watches her son for free).
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Old 04-24-2014, 01:34 PM
 
2,839 posts, read 4,991,821 times
Reputation: 3702
Quote:
Originally Posted by Riley09swb View Post
This sounds like my mom! We could be sisters. I used to rent my mom's condo and she used to change the amount of rent I owed every few months. It got to be comical. She offered to watch our kids when they were younger. She told me she would do it a couple of days a week but then was put out she couldn't chose the days every week (the kids would have went to daycare the other days). She ended up not doing it (she just never mentioned it again) and then offered the same thing to my sister (my sister's MIL already watches her son for free).
Glad to know I'm not alone, wouldn't be surprised if my mom tells me to give her the money for the landscaping (in a few months) and say she ONLY did it so I'd have my shower at her house lol.
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Old 04-24-2014, 01:51 PM
 
13,169 posts, read 20,795,870 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beera View Post
Glad to know I'm not alone, wouldn't be surprised if my mom tells me to give her the money for the landscaping (in a few months) and say she ONLY did it so I'd have my shower at her house lol.
You seem determined to portray your mother in a bad light. Instead, it reflects poorly on you. Give your mother a chance to be the grandmother she wants to be, and stop looking for problems before they arise.
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Old 04-24-2014, 02:39 PM
 
6,475 posts, read 9,931,031 times
Reputation: 10919
so, she has a pattern of overstepping boundaries, and she's still doing it, and you somehow expect this babysitting thing to work without any wrinkles? Really? REALLY???? You know what the definition of crazy is, don't you?

OMG... save yourself the frustration.. pay a real daycare.
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Old 04-24-2014, 06:49 PM
 
3,416 posts, read 3,224,610 times
Reputation: 3853
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
You seem determined to portray your mother in a bad light. Instead, it reflects poorly on you. Give your mother a chance to be the grandmother she wants to be, and stop looking for problems before they arise.

I think she's just being realistic. People don't change whether there's a baby involved or not. Sometimes it's worse.
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