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Since you declined to babysit, you have no idea who will be watching the baby. She may have found someone besides her mother. Your son might be watching the child. I give her credit for trying and calling you first for a more appropriate sitter. That indicates to me that she's not entirely irresponsible and may have found an acceptable sitter.
From a grandmother perspective, you're going to make a big mistake if you stop babysitting simply because she and your son broke up. If you have plans, that's okay. But you readily admit that you won't babysit for her to party and because she broke up with your son. That's not cool. You're punishing and risking your relationship with your grandchild by doing that.
I agree. Caring for this child should be your priority, especially knowing what you know. Isn't right, nor is it fair.....But this child needs some stability, you must step up.
A little background: My son (23) has dated the same girl since he was 14. They moved in together at 18. About 2.5 years ago they decided to have a baby. She will be 2 in October. I babysit her sometimes while dil works (PT, 2 days a week), and I also have babysat so son and dil could go out to dinner, etc. I also have an 11 yr old and 6 yr old, so we kind of take turns babysitting for each other.
Do they ever plan to become legally MARRIED?
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After just a few hours with her mother being drunk, she called my son and asked if she could come home. He said yes.
IMO, that was his second mistake. His first mistake is not getting married so his now victimized kids would have a STABLE home like. The kids are getting the worst of it in an UNHAPPY HOME!
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But I hurt for Hailey. She's definitely acting different since all this started. As I've said, I've babysat her and she's spent the night here a lot. She never used to ask for her mom or dad when she was here, but the last two times I've had her, she's cried for them. I know she feels something is wrong.
Do you "hurt" enough to HELP Hailey by calling CPS - TODAY? I WOULD!
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Originally Posted by mzjamiedawn
PS.... I just saw on FB her talking about the reunion tonight, so I guess she's not going to cancel. IF she leaves Hailey with her drunk mother, I have to say something, right? Or do I bite my tongue??
Yes, say "I'm calling CPS on you TODAY!
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Originally Posted by mzjamiedawn
Hailey is my main concern.
You keep saying that so when are you going to do something on Hailey's behalf?
My ex was like her only he was 33 years old. I had my daughter when I was 21 and now she is 4 and I have yet to go out and party, even once. The only time I leave my daughter is to go to work. I left her father because of his partying, gambling, womanizing, drinking, and abusive nature. He hadn't paid a dime and left me with every bill, even the ones in his name so I've had to work sometimes six days in a row just to make ends meet.
She will not change. I have a feeling this is the start of a bad situation. She gave up her right to party when she decided to have a child. Sadly, she thinks she deserves this. The saddest part is who knows who is going to be watching the child while this is going on. I would tell your son to offer to take the baby and let her go do her thing. Then you can watch the child and he can raise the baby as a single father. The child being passed around is not healthy. Something needs to be done and I know you are walking a thin line while dealing with this.
Uh -- why isn't the FATHER caring for his own daughter? If I were your son, I'd be suing for custody.
She missed that time when kids party and play when she hooked up with your son at 14, and she's compensating for it now. They both "opted out" of the party life when they decided to have a child at such a young age. This is not all your DIL's fault -- I think they both bear equal responsibility for having a child together when they simply were not mature enough to provide for a stable, loving family relationship for the long term. Your son sounds like he's very chill -- too laid back for the DIL's tastes, now. I just wonder how long it's going to be before she comes crawling back to your son with another man's baby in her belly.
Your son needs to sue for custody. She has no steady job, no means of support, and a home life with her parents that is not appropriate for a baby -- yet she has the time and energy to party until 9 in the morning?! Your DIL is making some poor decisions, and you don't have to support them.
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