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Old 04-17-2015, 02:29 AM
 
750 posts, read 485,384 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beera View Post
So basically if a complete stranger had done the SAME THING you'd have been okay with it?
No, grandparents and strangers are two completely different things.

Grandparents are like a 2nd set of older parents and assist the the child's upbringing more times than not.
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Old 04-17-2015, 02:34 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MEDALLOKUYA View Post
No, grandparents and strangers are two completely different things.

Grandparents are like a 2nd set of older parents and assist the the child's upbringing more times than not.
The enmeshment in your family is obviously very strong if you feel grandparents have the same authority parents do. Parents are number one authority in a child's life.
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Old 04-17-2015, 03:29 AM
 
750 posts, read 485,384 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beera View Post
The enmeshment in your family is obviously very strong if you feel grandparents have the same authority parents do. Parents are number one authority in a child's life.
Yes parents are the number one authority. Thus if a parents tells the grandparents not to discipline the children they should respect that. Although, not sure why parents wouldnt let their grandparents discipline kids. Fairly normal in my opinion.
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Old 04-17-2015, 03:36 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MEDALLOKUYA View Post
Spanking / Hitting is a form of discipline. Which in reason is not abuse.
Hitting is never "within reason." I've seen children "disciplined to death" and no child should ever be disciplined with violence (I used to work in law enforcement).

There are other ways to discipline without hitting.

http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/par...hit-your-child

To Spank or Not to Spank: A Case against SpankingThe Center for Parenting Education

9 Things To Do Instead of Spanking - Positive Parenting

Very sad that people who grew up abused are conditioned to think it's okay. My DH was spanked as a child and it taught him to lie to his father, to fear him, to hate him, and to lose respect for him. My parents rarely spanked but even as I got older my mother apologized for those spankings and was really remorseful for losing her temper over me as a child. I was basically taught to fear her.

DH and I decided long ago we'd break that cycle. I never want my son to look at me in fear that he'll be abused.
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Old 04-17-2015, 03:37 AM
 
2,839 posts, read 4,968,357 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MEDALLOKUYA View Post
Yes parents are the number one authority. Thus if a parents tells the grandparents not to discipline the children they should respect that. Although, not sure why parents wouldnt let their grandparents discipline kids. Fairly normal in my opinion.
Because it undermines the parents. The OP's father completely disrespected him as a parent when he hit his grand daughter.
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Old 04-17-2015, 04:19 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beera View Post
Because it undermines the parents. The OP's father completely disrespected him as a parent when he hit his grand daughter.
That is assuming the father told his father not to discipline his daughter.

If the parents are ok with it (like mine were and most my friends) then it doesnt undermine the parents at all.
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Old 04-17-2015, 04:20 AM
 
750 posts, read 485,384 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beera View Post
Hitting is never "within reason." I've seen children "disciplined to death" and no child should ever be disciplined with violence (I used to work in law enforcement).

There are other ways to discipline without hitting.

10 Reasons Not to Hit Your Child | Ask Dr Sears® | The Trusted Resource for Parents

To Spank or Not to Spank: A Case against SpankingThe Center for Parenting Education

9 Things To Do Instead of Spanking - Positive Parenting

Very sad that people who grew up abused are conditioned to think it's okay. My DH was spanked as a child and it taught him to lie to his father, to fear him, to hate him, and to lose respect for him. My parents rarely spanked but even as I got older my mother apologized for those spankings and was really remorseful for losing her temper over me as a child. I was basically taught to fear her.

DH and I decided long ago we'd break that cycle. I never want my son to look at me in fear that he'll be abused.
Hitting is never within reason? That is complete hogwash.

Lol at normal spanking as abuse.
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Old 04-17-2015, 05:39 AM
 
Location: Kansas
19,187 posts, read 14,944,669 times
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I'm confused about the parent calling himself the legal guardian when it comes to a 17 years old. Generally you are just the parent maybe he actually wanted to say that he had full custody.

In some families, relatives getting involved in disciplining is acceptable. I am an advocate of spanking but this is limited to small children. Once my husband's sister told my son with Down syndrome that she was going to slap him and his uncle did the same and they were darn lucky they didn't because I would have banned the entire family including my husband!

I do wonder in this case how old the grandfather is. I know that you all will think that shouldn't matter but he may just have somethings going on if he is a senior. I suppose he was horrified to his granddaughter acting this way, I would be. We often don't get the full story in posts like these.

Beating? No, the granddaughter was not beaten. It sounds like the household is in "flux" and there may be no winners there.

In this day and age, parents need to set limits and do a lot of explaining about what is expected and what the consequences will be. It is about being a parent versus a friend. Kids need parents that set and enforce limits.
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Old 04-17-2015, 05:55 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,906 posts, read 36,195,563 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MEDALLOKUYA View Post
Not bizarre at all.

You do not discipline your wife.

You discipline kids.
I'm 41. You think my dad has the right to hit me in the face and with a belt?
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Old 04-17-2015, 05:59 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
I'm 41. You think my dad has the right to hit me in the face and with a belt?
A few things.

41 is an adult.

Belt to the butt or legs is more than acceptable.

For the record I see slapping a bit excessive.
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