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Old 03-05-2015, 08:15 PM
 
141 posts, read 119,705 times
Reputation: 310

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Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
I don't know where you are getting the idea that MOST of the people on here aren't bothered by the teenager.
I myself would have brought the hammer, bit not in the arcane, neanderthal, I don't have the tools/brain power/authority/credibility to discipline without violence way.

Besides, guess what? Ain't grandpa's house, ain't grandpa's kid, and her parent had called him off.
There's one granpa's kid in this mix.
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Old 03-05-2015, 10:35 PM
 
Location: Texas
43,534 posts, read 52,616,956 times
Reputation: 70761
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tacere View Post
There's one granpa's kid in this mix.
I don't go to my parents' house and run their life and NOBODY comes to mine and tells me what to do.

Respect doesn't = being railroaded by your parent when you are 40.

I respect my parents bc besides being good, wise people, they respect boundaries.
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Old 03-06-2015, 04:54 AM
 
1,562 posts, read 1,137,168 times
Reputation: 2686
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amisi View Post
TROLL ALERT.


Are you going to say there is an argument going on between your father and your daughter and you just leave the room to "wash your hands" ? GIve me a break.

Your OP has all the salacious details of a good, soft-porn troll post.... 17 year old girl sitting in a bra and video chatting with a boy. You're a single father and your father is there also. (I'm sure a 17 year old girl would leave her door wide open while sitting in her bra video chatting). Your father whips her with a belt.... then slaps her face.....

IF this is true (and it's not), you should have pushed your father out of the room, out of the house, and kicked his ass in the driveway and sent him on his way. Simple. Case closed.


Since this isn't a real story, why not take your stories elsewhere.... maybe to a porn site where you and your ilk can get off on stories about teen girls.
Re-reading the thread, I see what you mean and you're right, this didn't happen. Nice catch. I'm done with this.
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Old 03-06-2015, 05:10 AM
 
3,637 posts, read 2,695,086 times
Reputation: 4300
Anyone did that to my children - even my own parents - and they would end up with a visit from the police and a criminal record. Simple as.
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Old 03-06-2015, 06:05 AM
 
Location: South Florida
705 posts, read 1,136,334 times
Reputation: 2252
Quote:
Originally Posted by doz884 View Post
Uh, of course that I am worried about the skyping part as well, that is my main concern. But I was supposed to deal with it, not him. Hitting a child, let alone a girl, who is in her teens... Thats just a big no-no.

I dont think that she is trying to fool me, because she is honest and nice kid. When she does something, she is not lying about it. And she is a real young lady, so I dont know why she thought that going on camera like that is fine.

I went in her room today, hugged her and asked her to talk. We were talking about the issues and she understands that what she did was wrong. About the disrespect part, she said that her grandpa had no right to tell her stuff and be harsh like that and she refuses to apologize. She insulted him again, shd says that she felt really hurt when he hit her. She mentioned the police, she said that she doesnt want to involve them though. But she refuses to be at home when her grandpa would come and she says she wont talk to him anymore. Mabye she is just mad.
I still dont know if I should punish her and how. She already feels bad about the whole situation and what she did, but she is sad. I can see that and I dont want that. I will continue talking to her about this, but I am just not sure if a punishment is really neccessery.

My daughter also doesnt want her mother to know about this. Should I respect that?

And no, my kid is not a brat and I dont do everything she asks for. We do what we both like, with talking and making a deal. Understanding eachother. I dont know why would you say that, when you dont even know her.
However, I appreciate your time and advices.
OP, this is fine. This is what needs to happen in this situation. The most important thing is to keep the communication open between you and your daughter. If it were my child, yes, I would have called the police, but that's a decision I made long ago when I first became a parent. In some situations, it is better to know what your course of action will be following an event regardless of who, what, when etc… There are lines you do not cross and for me, striking another human being is one of them. I think right now, the thing is to make it clear to your daughter that you would support her in her decision to involve authorities, but you will respect her wish not to do so.

I would not allow your father over when she is there. A person has a right to fee safe in her home and, if his presence makes her feel unsafe, then he does not come over. She also should have the right to decline going to events that he may be at as well.

Being in her bra while online, well, I'm trying to look at it from the viewpoint of a young woman today. I can open any newspaper or magazine and find numerous ads depicting a women wearing only the advertised bra, Victoria's Secret runs TV ads with women in their bras and publishes a catalogue that is mailed to tons of homes. Also, I've attended numerous athletic events with my son over the last few years and I can tell you, it is not uncommon for the female athletes to strip right down to their bras to change shirts right in the middle of a convention center hall with over 2000 people in it, including young male athletes. Nobody bats an eye. In your father's generation, this would be "loose", in your generation, sexy and in their generation, no big deal.

Who is this young man she was online with? What is his relationship with her? Have you met him? If not, you need to invite him over for pizza and get to know him. Young men can be really pushy with young women this age but they tend to back down if they know a parent is keeping a close eye and there is a strong relationship there.
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Old 03-06-2015, 07:00 AM
 
4 posts, read 7,019 times
Reputation: 10
What.. Some comments here ... Corporal punishment is okay...even porn got mentioned. That is just disgusting and sad, what your mind is filled with.

Please just lock this ... However, I got some great advices as well here, thank you people.
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Old 03-06-2015, 08:13 AM
 
141 posts, read 119,705 times
Reputation: 310
Quote:
Originally Posted by monumentus View Post
Anyone did that to my children - even my own parents - and they would end up with a visit from the police and a criminal record. Simple as.
So are you ok with your child calling the police on you because she feels abused?
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Old 03-06-2015, 05:53 PM
 
Location: Leaving fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada
3,859 posts, read 6,868,095 times
Reputation: 7344
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragonmam View Post
OP, this is fine. This is what needs to happen in this situation. The most important thing is to keep the communication open between you and your daughter. If it were my child, yes, I would have called the police, but that's a decision I made long ago when I first became a parent. In some situations, it is better to know what your course of action will be following an event regardless of who, what, when etc… There are lines you do not cross and for me, striking another human being is one of them. I think right now, the thing is to make it clear to your daughter that you would support her in her decision to involve authorities, but you will respect her wish not to do so.

I would not allow your father over when she is there. A person has a right to fee safe in her home and, if his presence makes her feel unsafe, then he does not come over. She also should have the right to decline going to events that he may be at as well.

Being in her bra while online, well, I'm trying to look at it from the viewpoint of a young woman today. I can open any newspaper or magazine and find numerous ads depicting a women wearing only the advertised bra, Victoria's Secret runs TV ads with women in their bras and publishes a catalogue that is mailed to tons of homes. Also, I've attended numerous athletic events with my son over the last few years and I can tell you, it is not uncommon for the female athletes to strip right down to their bras to change shirts right in the middle of a convention center hall with over 2000 people in it, including young male athletes. Nobody bats an eye. In your father's generation, this would be "loose", in your generation, sexy and in their generation, no big deal.

Who is this young man she was online with? What is his relationship with her? Have you met him? If not, you need to invite him over for pizza and get to know him. Young men can be really pushy with young women this age but they tend to back down if they know a parent is keeping a close eye and there is a strong relationship there.
See, this is the problem. Kids have no guidance today. Just because models wear ads to sell bras doesn't mean that it's okay to wear only a bra to Skype.

How was she supposed to understand this without parental guidance?
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Old 03-06-2015, 06:36 PM
 
13,159 posts, read 20,772,581 times
Reputation: 35407
Quote:
Originally Posted by photobuff42 View Post
See, this is the problem. Kids have no guidance today. Just because models wear ads to sell bras doesn't mean that it's okay to wear only a bra to Skype.

How was she supposed to understand this without parental guidance?
Do you think that guidance requires hitting her?
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Old 03-06-2015, 07:22 PM
 
Location: Leaving fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada
3,859 posts, read 6,868,095 times
Reputation: 7344
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
Do you think that guidance requires hitting her?
The dad seems to have done no parenting.
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