U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting > Grandparents
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 07-10-2015, 09:46 AM
 
Location: Houston, TX
1,278 posts, read 1,054,619 times
Reputation: 3975

Advertisements

MIL needs to mind her business or DIL will find some kinda way of cutting her off altogether

Son needs to grow a pair and stand up for his daughter's privacy, as he definitely has a say in how his daughter is being raised (and displayed)

Contributing money has nothing to do with any decisions made about the child. Money holds no weight and guarantees no "vote" in child rearing decisions.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 07-10-2015, 03:20 PM
 
3,646 posts, read 9,599,942 times
Reputation: 5443
When my mother in law sent me a message asking me to "share less" about the grandkids on FB, I just put her on a restricted list.

Nothing I posted was inappropriate, but I utilize the list feature of FB quite a bit - and had accidentally had MIL on the "Trusted friends and family" list I typically post with - where I vent my frustrations, but only my best friends and sister see those posts.

My in laws all think I rule their son with an iron fist... and think I've kept them from their grandkids. They believe I've alienated them from their family. While, all along, my husband was doing the alienating (not entirely because of the way they treat me, though that is part of it).

Now that my kids have gotten older (12 & 15) and have spent time with the grandparents alone, my older child won't visit with them again. I don't know exactly what was said, but he and I are very close, and all he would tell us is that they are "not nice people". Another set offended him at a younger age based on their behavior to me, and he won't talk to them at all, not even on the phone. I forge thank you notes at Christmas and his birthday.

I wonder if your friend and my MIL are the same person? Of course, it's only recently (last month) that they started helping us financially (dh is out of work, we didn't ask, they just sent money). Though they've all claimed to other family members that they have helped us... sorry, but that $20 you sent the 4 of us for Christmas last year when dh was out of work (again, yes) doesn't count.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-06-2015, 04:40 PM
 
12,879 posts, read 15,360,866 times
Reputation: 14824
Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlearts View Post

My feeling is, since the son's family is financially supported by the grandparents, it seems to me that my friend's DIL should be more concerned with pleasing her in laws, than vice versa.
Maybe.....but not when she's got the grandchild...that takes precedence over anything else.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-11-2015, 07:43 PM
 
16,025 posts, read 19,575,589 times
Reputation: 26194
Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlearts View Post
My friend has one 4 year old grandchild. Their youngest son and wife are the parents, and they live nearby. If it matters, my friend and her husband contribute to the family financially, as do their other children, who are very financially solid.
They do not like the DIL, but go through the motions for the sake of harmony.

The DIL put two videos of the grand daughter on Facebook, which my friend thinks are embarrassing and humiliating. My friend doesn't know what to say or do, so has said nothing, but it is eating at her. She asked me what I thought, and I said I would have had to say something to the DIL. My friend and her husband, and their son, feel held hostage by the DIL because they do not want to be separated from the child.

My feeling is, since the son's family is financially supported by the grandparents, it seems to me that my friend's DIL should be more concerned with pleasing her in laws, than vice versa.
Sounds like their support comes at a price. Some might consider this emotional blackmail. Their child, their rules
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting > Grandparents
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top