Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My friend has one 4 year old grandchild. Their youngest son and wife are the parents, and they live nearby. If it matters, my friend and her husband contribute to the family financially, as do their other children, who are very financially solid.
They do not like the DIL, but go through the motions for the sake of harmony.
The DIL put two videos of the grand daughter on Facebook, which my friend thinks are embarrassing and humiliating. My friend doesn't know what to say or do, so has said nothing, but it is eating at her. She asked me what I thought, and I said I would have had to say something to the DIL. My friend and her husband, and their son, feel held hostage by the DIL because they do not want to be separated from the child.
My feeling is, since the son's family is financially supported by the grandparents, it seems to me that my friend's DIL should be more concerned with pleasing her in laws, than vice versa.
My friend has one 4 year old grandchild. Their youngest son and wife are the parents, and they live nearby. If it matters, my friend and her husband contribute to the family financially, as do their other children, who are very financially solid.
They do not like the DIL, but go through the motions for the sake of harmony.
The DIL put two videos of the grand daughter on Facebook, which my friend thinks are embarrassing and humiliating. My friend doesn't know what to say or do, so has said nothing, but it is eating at her. She asked me what I thought, and I said I would have had to say something to the DIL. My friend and her husband, and their son, feel held hostage by the DIL because they do not want to be separated from the child.
My feeling is, since the son's family is financially supported by the grandparents, it seems to me that my friend's DIL should be more concerned with pleasing her in laws, than vice versa.
IMHO, if they feel that something put on Facebook is embarrassing or humiliating to a child they need to say something to their son.
How have other people reacted to the videos? Sometimes, if same age friends comment that they are inappropriate it would hold more weight that if someone from the "older generation" says something.
IMHO, finances are not a part of this matter. However, it does seem odd that the husband feels like he is "held hostage" by his wife.
If they are inappropriate, your friend can report them directly to Facebook and request removal. Reporters are not disclosed, although if you have complained, your DIL may accuse you of reporting anyway. I would do it anyway.
Since you don't specify what these videos are, I have to assume they are embarrassing to your friend, but not so much to others? I say leave well enough alone, unless the video seems to indicate there is child abuse going on. In that case, your friend should speak to their son first. He might not be aware of what has been posted.
Unless there seems to be harm done to the child, stay out of it, MIL. You will be sorry if you meddle.
Since you don't specify what these videos are, I have to assume they are embarrassing to your friend, but not so much to others? I say leave well enough alone, unless the video seems to indicate there is child abuse going on. In that case, your friend should speak to their son first. He might not be aware of what has been posted.
Unless there seems to be harm done to the child, stay out of it, MIL. You will be sorry if you meddle.
No, they are not embarrassing to my friend, she feels they are humiliating to the child. I could not view the videos myself, but the first one is the happy child in her car seat, and her reaction when she is told they are going to the doctor. The second one is of her meltdown at the doctors office when she finds out she is having a shot. Can you imagine any good reason why a mother would film her child being told something she knew would upset her, just for the opportunity to film it, and then put it on public display?
My friend's son, who a sweet guy, but truthfully a bit slow, puts up with abuse by the wife, for fear of being separated from his daughter.
If they are inappropriate, your friend can report them directly to Facebook and request removal. Reporters are not disclosed, although if you have complained, your DIL may accuse you of reporting anyway. I would do it anyway.
No, they are not embarrassing to my friend, she feels they are humiliating to the child. I could not view the videos myself, but the first one is the happy child in her car seat, and her reaction when she is told they are going to the doctor. The second one is of her meltdown at the doctors office when she finds out she is having a shot. Can you imagine any good reason why a mother would film her child being told something she knew would upset her, just for the opportunity to film it, and then put it on public display?
My friend's son, who a sweet guy, but truthfully a bit slow, puts up with abuse by the wife, for fear of being separated from his daughter.
I hate these type videos...I feel like the parents are sick and cruel who video this type stuff.
My friend has one 4 year old grandchild. Their youngest son and wife are the parents, and they live nearby. If it matters, my friend and her husband contribute to the family financially, as do their other children, who are very financially solid.
They do not like the DIL, but go through the motions for the sake of harmony.
The DIL put two videos of the grand daughter on Facebook, which my friend thinks are embarrassing and humiliating. My friend doesn't know what to say or do, so has said nothing, but it is eating at her. She asked me what I thought, and I said I would have had to say something to the DIL. My friend and her husband, and their son, feel held hostage by the DIL because they do not want to be separated from the child.
My feeling is, since the son's family is financially supported by the grandparents, it seems to me that my friend's DIL should be more concerned with pleasing her in laws, than vice versa.
Loaning someone money doesn't mean you than control that individual. Your friend would be better off to zip her lips. If my Mil commented on my parenting... she wouldn't be welcome in my home again. This scenario is exactly why I never give or receive money from family members, it causes too many problems. Especially when people think they have a right to tell you how to live your life.
My friend has one 4 year old grandchild. Their youngest son and wife are the parents, and they live nearby. If it matters, my friend and her husband contribute to the family financially, as do their other children, who are very financially solid.
They do not like the DIL, but go through the motions for the sake of harmony.
The DIL put two videos of the grand daughter on Facebook, which my friend thinks are embarrassing and humiliating. My friend doesn't know what to say or do, so has said nothing, but it is eating at her. She asked me what I thought, and I said I would have had to say something to the DIL. My friend and her husband, and their son, feel held hostage by the DIL because they do not want to be separated from the child.
My feeling is, since the son's family is financially supported by the grandparents, it seems to me that my friend's DIL should be more concerned with pleasing her in laws, than vice versa.
Money doesn't come with strings or does it make someone OWE anyone anything. DIL has to "please her inlaws?" Did I read that correctly. No, she doesn't have to please anyone. DIL is not their child, her husband is. And I like how you add in that they don't like her. Perhaps DIL doesn't like them either or she already knows they don't like her. DIL and SIL are the parents, so she can put whatever photos, videos, that she wants. If they are so alarmed by it, then they should confront their son. Or better yet, perhaps DIL should just delete them off her page so the idle gossip behind her back about what they deem is appopriate can stop..
If you don't mind me asking, DIL has a gun to their head and has threatened to kill them. Bc that is the only way someone is holding you hostage unless you are using the term to be overly dramatic. Or my hunch is Mil is. And all of the above can also be solved by just deleting DIL or DIL deleting MIL/FIL off her facebook. I wouldn't in a million years have my in-laws on my FB. But lucky me, they are lucky they know how to use a remote let alone FB
[/b]
Loaning someone money doesn't mean you than control that individual. Your friend would be better off to zip her lips. If my Mil commented on my parenting... she wouldn't be welcome in my home again. This scenario is exactly why I never give or receive money from family members, it causes too many problems. Especially when people think they have a right to tell you how to live your life.
Bingo But the strings come only if you let them.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
But the strings come only if you let them.
