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Old 09-21-2015, 09:04 PM
 
65 posts, read 52,720 times
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My single daughter(dad not in the picture) has a new born and needs child care when she return to work? She initial assumed I would be her child car provider when she return to work after the 12 week. When I finally told her I didn't want to do it, that really seem to hurt her. I didn't want to do full time infant care that was it plan and simple. However after long consideration with my wife, I did agree to do it for her. She really needs the help and security of knowing the baby is safe and financial it would help. Now she seem to feel I should just accept what ever she can offer for the child care. I'm retired male with a still working wife and a empty nest. So I have the time and adore my grandchild, but this will be average 10 hours a day from 7:30 am /5:30 pm job five days week. Is charging a small fee ($1.25/hour) complete out of line? I'm sort of active and like going to movies and getting out but truthful I'm a couch potatoes so the kid would not affect my daily routine.
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Old 09-21-2015, 09:37 PM
 
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I think you'll be very surprised at how much that baby will affect your daily routine. Infants are exhausting. But if you are truly willing to do it, and not saying yes under duress, I say, "Great!". You don't hear of many grandfathers taking on that role, and you'll treasure the closeness with your grandchild.

I see nothing wrong with charging what you are considering. It gives your daughter a huge break on the cost of child care, and it will serve to check any impulse to show up late, or ask to leave the baby on her days off. Ultimately, the baby is her responsibility. Hopefully there is a father paying some support.
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Old 09-21-2015, 10:03 PM
 
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Either say no or help her out. If she's struggling there are programs that can pay for childcare....somewhere the child isn't being left with someone that is only going to resent it.
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Old 09-21-2015, 10:55 PM
 
65 posts, read 52,720 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ScarletG View Post
Either say no or help her out. If she's struggling there are programs that can pay for childcare....somewhere the child isn't being left with someone that is only going to resent it.
I have said yes, that part is done, my question was to charge her and how much was fair to both. She is not struggling to the point of qualifying for some government benefit. She has a very good job and works as a health care administrator for a major insurance provider. I would not want her to be care for by someone that resented her either, part of my reason for taking it on.
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Old 09-21-2015, 11:09 PM
 
13,138 posts, read 20,706,093 times
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Almost 29 years ago, I had to fire the babysitter I hired to care for my infant son. I was paying her $150/week at the time. I asked my parents to step in until I could find somebody new, and insisted on paying them the same amount. They didn't need the money, but it was an acknowledgment of the sacrifice they would be making, as they were very social travelers. I never regretted or resented paying them, it worked out well for both of us. $60/week is a very generous offer, and I hope your daughter realizes it.
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Old 09-21-2015, 11:39 PM
 
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Can I ask your reason for wanting to be paid? Do you want or need the $60, or is it to show your daughter there's no free ride? You'd be truly shorted at that small cost, that's why I ask. If you really don't want the $$, I was going to suggest it being put into an account for the baby.

Grand parents babysitting is a touchy subject when it comes to being paid. I've had my grand's a LOT, and other than a $100 once its been for free. Never on a work schedule, but up to 14 days at a stretch. Weekends, holidays, school vacations etc. Son & dil have more money than me, so I wont lie and say I haven't thought they should chip in once in awhile. I'd have been happy if they brought groceries or gave going out $$.

I don't know what I'd do in your position, but you are giving her bargain rates. Congrats on the baby!
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Old 09-22-2015, 02:08 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,890 posts, read 17,203,069 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by breeinmo. View Post
Can I ask your reason for wanting to be paid? Do you want or need the $60, or is it to show your daughter there's no free ride? You'd be truly shorted at that small cost, that's why I ask. If you really don't want the $$, I was going to suggest it being put into an account for the baby.

Grand parents babysitting is a touchy subject when it comes to being paid. I've had my grand's a LOT, and other than a $100 once its been for free. Never on a work schedule, but up to 14 days at a stretch. Weekends, holidays, school vacations etc. Son & dil have more money than me, so I wont lie and say I haven't thought they should chip in once in awhile. I'd have been happy if they brought groceries or gave going out $$.

I don't know what I'd do in your position, but you are giving her bargain rates. Congrats on the baby!

There have been other threads on this matter.

I personally know grandparents who are paid nothing. BTW I also know a couple that ended up losing their house to foreclosure in part because their wealthy (and very self-centered, selfish) daughter and SIL refused to pay them for the 60 to 70 hours (sometimes even more) a week of babysitting from the birth of their son until he was in kindergarten), even though it meant that the grandparents had to quit their jobs to babysit. They even babysat for free, 24/7, while the parents went on expensive vacations to Europe, ski trips, trips to Hawaii, etc. without their child. IMHO, that daughter and SIL have a special place in hell (of course, the grandparents should never, ever, ever have agreed to do it, but they apparently did not know how to tell their daughter "no").

BTW, I also know a retired couple that are delighted to babysit their three grandchildren twice a week for free, but any more time than that they are just too exhausted to do anything but sleep once they leave.

I personally know grandparents who are paid 50% of what the going rate is in their town.

I personally know grandparents who are paid 100% of what the going rate is in their town (this varies dramatically, my son pays $15 an hour to my grandson's babysitter/nanny and some of his friends pay even more in their high COL area).

I personally know one grandparent who was paid much more than 100% of the going rate in her town, because she really, really needed the money and her son & DIL really wanted her to babysit.

My honest opinion, is that if your wife is still working because you "need the money" then you need to charge your daughter more (assuming that she can afford it) plus make sure that she pays for the babies, food, diapers and other expenses (just like at a regular care givers house).

Last edited by germaine2626; 09-22-2015 at 02:18 PM..
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Old 09-22-2015, 02:42 PM
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
36,956 posts, read 45,395,424 times
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I think that you should get paid, if your daughter can afford it. I would charge $100. a week, and expect her to provide diapers, formula and baby food. This is way less than she would have to pay an outsider, and it gives you some pin money to spend on yourself. I think of the money as showing respect for your time.

You are giving your grandchild the gift of spending time with you, so the baby is lucky to have you. I bet once you get into a groove, the baby will not slow you down much, and it will keep you young.
I still have hopes of a few new grandchildren, and I would love to help take care of them.
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Old 09-22-2015, 10:48 PM
 
65 posts, read 52,720 times
Reputation: 104
Quote:
Originally Posted by breeinmo. View Post
Can I ask your reason for wanting to be paid? Do you want or need the $60, or is it to show your daughter there's no free ride? You'd be truly shorted at that small cost, that's why I ask. If you really don't want the $$, I was going to suggest it being put into an account for the baby.

Grand parents babysitting is a touchy subject when it comes to being paid. I've had my grand's a LOT, and other than a $100 once its been for free. Never on a work schedule, but up to 14 days at a stretch. Weekends, holidays, school vacations etc. Son & dil have more money than me, so I wont lie and say I haven't thought they should chip in once in awhile. I'd have been happy if they brought groceries or gave going out $$.

I don't know what I'd do in your position, but you are giving her bargain rates. Congrats on the baby!
Your comments are very thought provoking no we don't need the money. My wife can't retire for four year before she has her 30 years in so she can draw her maximum benefits. We are fortunate that we do have a defined benefit plan through our company. But I am older and if I do perced her in death she will still have money to live on. I had a friend who lost their spouse and she was left with only her check. They had there life style based on the combine income. Once he past it was really hard adjusting to the widows benefit amount. Now of course I can always use a few extra dollars here and there. You're correct I don't know why I am charging her I just feel it's the right thing. I was raised to pay my way, my dad charge me rent soon as I got a job lol. Maybe If I don't set a rate she would offer more? But I don't want to strain her finances just to put a few extra bucks in my pocket . I just don't think it's fair to her or me doing it for nothing.
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Old 09-23-2015, 04:54 AM
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
36,956 posts, read 45,395,424 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by biggiE48 View Post
Your comments are very thought provoking no we don't need the money. My wife can't retire for four year before she has her 30 years in so she can draw her maximum benefits. We are fortunate that we do have a defined benefit plan through our company. But I am older and if I do perced her in death she will still have money to live on. I had a friend who lost their spouse and she was left with only her check. They had there life style based on the combine income. Once he past it was really hard adjusting to the widows benefit amount. Now of course I can always use a few extra dollars here and there. You're correct I don't know why I am charging her I just feel it's the right thing. I was raised to pay my way, my dad charge me rent soon as I got a job lol. Maybe If I don't set a rate she would offer more? But I don't want to strain her finances just to put a few extra bucks in my pocket . I just don't think it's fair to her or me doing it for nothing.
If you don't need the money, you could secretly put it away for the baby's college fund.
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