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Our daughter, her husband, and baby girl are moving in with us between a bachelor's degree and grad school. We have a wonderful relationship with all of them, and want to keep it that way.
I am looking for websites about 3 generation households, and would welcome advice from those who "have been there" on how to make this work.
My wife and I, along with our two children a boy and a girl share a Mother/Daughter home with my parents. Here's what our situation was and is like.
The house is now only used as a summer home but it was our permanant home for about five years. My parents did not reside there all year long but they spent the magority of their time there. I would say about eight mounths a year.
The house was originally a two bedroom cape and the previous owner put an addition on it. The addition was a complete seperate two bedrooms/Kitchen/Bathrooms, ect.. with a seperate entrance. The only thing we really had to share was the washer and dryer in the garage.
The living arraingment worked out great. We split the bills. My parents are very easy to get along with. We had dinners together probably three times a week or more. We took my Mom shopping my dad loved that. When we wanted to go out my parents watched the kids. It was and still is great. Only now we only reside together a few months a year. Were basicly the type of people that like to share time together anyway. They get to spend time around their grandchildren and we have them right there to help advise us.
I think a lot more people are going to be living under these same circumstances with the way the economy is looking. It's a win win situation as long as privacy and mutual respect and also tolerance are there.
Our daughter, her husband, and baby girl are moving in with us between a bachelor's degree and grad school. We have a wonderful relationship with all of them, and want to keep it that way.
I am looking for websites about 3 generation households, and would welcome advice from those who "have been there" on how to make this work.
Thanks!
Set up household rules before anyone moves in. Set up how much they are going to contribute to the household before anyone moves in.
Show them respect and expect it from them.
Never make them feel like moochers(unless they become that way)
Don't let them take advantage of you.
If that isn't hard enough.....and even if you don't mean to do this......she's the mom.....he's the dad. You're Grandparent.....no parenting advise allowed unless asked.
set up guidelines and expectations befroe hand. unless you want to, dont become the live in nany for them.
while its great having all kinds of family living with you, you must first set the parameters of the relationship.
always be respectful.
dont be nosey.
leave time for yourself.
extended family homes are very common, and very beneficial. but the climate can turn ugly if the rules and expecatations are not set in advance.
who will, clean? what about having guests over? will they leave the baby with you always? what is the parking situation like? sleeping habits? eatign habits. all these are things to consider when living with a larger group of people.
best advice tho, let your daughter live her own life, even tho she is sharing a home with you. mothers tend to "kno best", but it can really annoy her or the son in law if grams is always butting in.
give eachother space and this will probably be the best time of your life. enjoy eachother and be respectful of eachother.
Our daughter, her husband, and baby girl are moving in with us between a bachelor's degree and grad school. We have a wonderful relationship with all of them, and want to keep it that way.
I am looking for websites about 3 generation households, and would welcome advice from those who "have been there" on how to make this work.
Thanks!
As long as everyone gets along, and respect one another's boundaries cool
But in most cases, it's a zoo
unless of case you have separate quarters MIL and husbands tend to be competitive at times
my $.02 cents
If that isn't hard enough.....and even if you don't mean to do this......she's the mom.....he's the dad. You're Grandparent.....no parenting advise allowed unless asked.
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CAREFUL CAREFUL CAREFUL... that also means don't go and give the little one hugs and sad faces if they ARE scolded by the parents. Just stay out of it completely. If they are punished, then that is up to the parents... NOW, if they are in YOUR house- and they break YOUR rule... then go for it and punish them... I believe it takes a village- as long as the villagers aren't stepping on eachother's toes... I lived with my parents while my house was being built- the new owners of my old house wanted to move in ASAP and that left us in limbo for about 6 months... it is workable- life will be a bit odd for BOTH of you- but you will get around it if you are good to eachother.
I am far too bossy for my daughter to ever want to live with me again.
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Rules!!
MIL and husbands tend to be competitive at times
I lived with my parents while my house was being built- the new owners of my old house wanted to move in ASAP and that left us in limbo for about 6 months... it is workable- life will be a bit odd for BOTH of you- but you will get around it if you are good to eachother.
