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Old 01-18-2017, 10:58 AM
 
Location: Southern Oregon
2,862 posts, read 4,091,918 times
Reputation: 3049

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It's been a year since we took custody of our grandkids, there ages are 6 and 10. I can not say it's been easy, it's been a challenge. I'm 66 and haven't had kids in the house for 30 years, so it's a culture shock to say the least. We really don't see an end in sight and have resolved that the kids will be with us until they go out on their own. Their parents got wrapped up in drugs, they haven't called the kids or even tried to visit them since we have taken custody. We are thinking about adopting the kids to be able to provide them with a stable home life, and me being a disabled vet, they will have healthcare provided for them through ChampVA, if anything happens to me in the next 12 years they will have their college education paid for,

I'm just wondering how many other grandparents are doing the same.
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Old 01-18-2017, 11:47 AM
 
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, originally from SF Bay Area
28,826 posts, read 51,988,054 times
Reputation: 29553
I have a lot of admiration and respect for you. Ours are 1 and 5, and we take them overnight now and then, but they can wear us out after a couple of days, and we are a few years younger than you.
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Old 01-19-2017, 12:10 PM
 
4,303 posts, read 3,647,622 times
Reputation: 8757
Quote:
Originally Posted by Terryj View Post
It's been a year since we took custody of our grandkids, there ages are 6 and 10. I can not say it's been easy, it's been a challenge. I'm 66 and haven't had kids in the house for 30 years, so it's a culture shock to say the least. We really don't see an end in sight and have resolved that the kids will be with us until they go out on their own. Their parents got wrapped up in drugs, they haven't called the kids or even tried to visit them since we have taken custody. We are thinking about adopting the kids to be able to provide them with a stable home life, and me being a disabled vet, they will have healthcare provided for them through ChampVA, if anything happens to me in the next 12 years they will have their college education paid for,

I'm just wondering how many other grandparents are doing the same.
Thank goodness they have you. I would adopt them to be able to protect them better & your VA benefits would be an added bonus.
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Old 01-20-2017, 10:03 AM
 
Location: South Central Pa.
154 posts, read 69,737 times
Reputation: 225
Quote:
Originally Posted by Terryj View Post
I'm just wondering how many other grandparents are doing the same.
I don't know if it counts, but I took care of 2 of my grandchildren, while their parents worked, from the time they were born till they went to school. They only stayed overnight a few times but I usually had them all day long. The boy is now 11 and he had an older brother who was 4 years older so I would take care of him as well. Basically I was the 3rd parent so I couldn't be the typical grandparent, anything I taught them, I would have to deal with myself.
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Old 01-23-2017, 10:58 PM
 
772 posts, read 402,416 times
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My mom could probably relate to this thread, as she helped with raising my daughter for quite a few years. (Mom never had custody though, and I definitely stayed a part of my daughter's life and did a lot of things with her)
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Old 01-24-2017, 05:11 AM
 
Location: YUCAIPA
3 posts, read 1,713 times
Reputation: 11
a lot we did a niece since two she is now 24 and grand daughter most her life but her mom just took her broke our hearts she is 9 you can get cash aid for your grand kids called foster care support we did for our neice no court i was making 80 grand a year but was available i had to show pay stubs the checks were for her for clothing food what ever was like 400 a month this was in 1998 you might not need it but it helps and her parents never got charged sued nothing still doing meth from 1991 till present
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Old 01-24-2017, 02:04 PM
 
Location: Cumberland Co., TN
20,547 posts, read 20,944,359 times
Reputation: 20778
Quote:
I'm just wondering how many other grandparents are doing the same.
Just over two years ago my ex DIL sent the kids to my house so she could be with her soul mate who BTW is now serving 10 ears for stealing a car. Six months later their dad dropped out. The oldest graduated and moved out on his own last year and the other is living with me. Her other child is living with her father who has custody. My problem is she is still floating around out there somewhere and would just for spite try to prevent me from legal custody so me and my grandson are living in limbo. I cant afford attorney fees to take it straight on and there aren't any agencies that will help with legalities. I've been told put him in state custody and they will probably place him with you. Yeah.

It has been difficult but rewarding and expensive. It would devastate me and him if the courts forced him back to the unhappy unstable life with his mother. I believe it is becoming increasingly common for kids to be raised by their grandparents.
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Old 01-24-2017, 04:07 PM
 
5,268 posts, read 2,377,325 times
Reputation: 13410
Guardianship thru the courts can be had. Seek counsel.

My grandparents had no problems taking me in...I learned the rules real quick. Be seen,not heard. My granddad often let me ramble though...It was our secret.
Loved them dearly. They were disabled so I learned how to attend to them...
It's what each brings into the family ...I brought them care...And they did the same.

My mom was always my beacon...And my grandparents regarded that.

I am not sure how you got this task, do know that for some it's a blessing and for others a curse. I'd like to think of it as another human requiring structure and love in a time where divorcing your kin is the in thing to do.
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Old 01-25-2017, 10:57 AM
 
Location: Cumberland Co., TN
20,547 posts, read 20,944,359 times
Reputation: 20778
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nov3 View Post
Guardianship thru the courts can be had. Seek counsel.
I have at the rate of 10,000.00. I have checked with agencies who do not follow up. They just want to give money or clothes if you are below poverty guidelines. Getting legal help, affordable, is a big problem in my area without first putting the child in state custody and hoping to not disrupt their life and eventually get them placed back with you.
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Old 02-05-2017, 02:48 PM
 
Location: SW Florida
9,464 posts, read 4,241,333 times
Reputation: 19686
My 8 year old granddaughter lives with her maternal grandparents during the week and my son and I have her almost every weekend. Plus we have her every other week during summer break, one week during Christmas break and most of Easter break. I find myself exhausted after a lengthy visit. God bless you for doing it with 2 grandchildren at 66. There is a special place in Heaven for people like you. :-)
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