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LOVE your stories. I hope you write them down so when this little boy is grown, he can look back and know his grandmother was there for him. Really sweet stories. My thought is boys will be boys. They love the rude sounds, the noise, the gross stuff and creepy crawlies. It's a phase, this too will pass.
I'll never forget being in a movie theater and Lyod Bridges or was it Leslie Nelson let one rip and it exploded into the ocean (bubbles) and up to the boat above, making everyone pass out. OH my son just loved that. Sat there and loudly giggled in this quiet theater. I think he was 6. Something. Comedy shows were a big hit with my little kids.
I'll have to look that one up!
Grandson has a favorite stuffed whale that he carries around everywhere. He pretends it poops, pees, passes gas, and throws up. My daughter takes "Whale" from him and puts it on a shelf in time out for acting rudely. Too much of that, and she puts them both in time out. And I do feel guilty, because I think maybe he wouldn't do it so much if I weren't such a captive audience.
What really annoys my daughter are some of the songs and poems his great-uncles (my brothers) and I make up for the occasion. Such as: "If you have to toot/please don't think it's cute. LEAVE THE ROOM. Even if you think/that it will not stink. LEAVE THE ROOM. This is just to tell you/no one wants to smell you. LEAVE THE ROOM". Actually, it was originally, "If you have to fart/please do something smart", but she doesn't like the word "fart". What she doesn't recall is that her uncles made it up originally 25 years ago when she was in Kindergarten...based on a song that went, "If You Have To Sneeze, Think of Others Please" that she had to sing for a school program. She thought it was hilarious at the time, and I remember holding my breath, afraid she'd get up and sing their version instead!!!!
Somehow her funny bone was amputated after she grew up. She gets mad when Grandson says, "Nanny, sing the Toot song". Or, "Nanny, say the Beans poem". Beans, beans, the musical fruit...
In fairness, I do teach him "nice" songs and poems and educational stuff...like the alphabet song. I'm also teaching him a song that recites all 50 states. His favorite book, though, was given to him by his aunt (my youngest daughter), called "Farts In the Wild". It lists and describes the flatulence of 10 different animals, from goldfish to elephants. Accompanied by sound effects. "Meow...pffft...meow...pfft...meow...PFFFFFFFT TT!" Auntie knows how to press big sister's buttons.
He still does the arm waving "Ex CUSE ME!!!!" routine after he passes gas. I ignore it, and hopefully he'll forget it by the time he starts Kindergarten. His mom threatens to make me go along to his parent/teacher conferences.
Last edited by Mrs. Skeffington; 07-17-2017 at 05:44 AM..
My husband's nephew loved Jim Carey and all the rude stuff he did in movies. He'd memorize the lines and the 'special effects'. "Somebody stop me!" I think the boy was 10.
I can't remember if that movie with the gas bubbles was 'Hot Shots!' 'Hot Shots! Part Deux' or one of the Police Academy Movies. My kids loved all of those. Of course if you want a family favorite that my mom introduced, 'Christmas Vacation'. My son and I can quote or chuckle over so much of that movie. It's one we'd sit together and just enjoy. We watched it once with my brother and he remarked on stuff we didn't. 'The sap!' 'The stogie!'
My husband's nephew loved Jim Carey and all the rude stuff he did in movies. He'd memorize the lines and the 'special effects'. "Somebody stop me!" I think the boy was 10.
I can't remember if that movie with the gas bubbles was 'Hot Shots!' 'Hot Shots! Part Deux' or one of the Police Academy Movies. My kids loved all of those. Of course if you want a family favorite that my mom introduced, 'Christmas Vacation'. My son and I can quote or chuckle over so much of that movie. It's one we'd sit together and just enjoy. We watched it once with my brother and he remarked on stuff we didn't. 'The sap!' 'The stogie!'
Don't get me started on "The Three Stooges". Woo woo woo woo woo was always good to get oldest grandson to stop crying. His little brother is a Shemp fan, I guess...he responds to eeeebeeebeeebeee. Oldest daughter (their mom) wonders how she got in this family.
Anyway, my main complaint is why doesn't this generation ever say thank you?
Rarely, since their parents FAILED to teach them to do that!
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Why do they have to be prompted?
Because they don't know any better! Nobody ever showed them how!
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When my kids were little we got out the crayons and wrote out a note and added pictures. I can't tell you how happy those made my mom, my kid's grandmother.
Same here! We were taught a lot of common manners that no longer exist in modern culture.
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And the situation is so bad now we don't even know if the gifts arrived. Or if they arrived on time. 'Did you get the gift?' 'Yeah.' . . . Well good. And on to the discussion and . . . No 'Thank You'! Or better yet, I ask the recipient and they are vague like they don't know what I'm talking about.
Forum open for discussion.
I've found that the best defense against being hurt by bad manners or an absent "thank you" is to build up and reinforce my own self esteem and self respect so I can give WITHOUT any needy strings attached to the gift. I also am giving less and less! It's too late to educate and HELP my grand kids so I just work on being positive and self loving and let all of them sink or swim as best they can. Their parents, not me, screwed them up although it could be said that us grandparents screwed up their parents. (I do not have kids of my own to screw up but most like would have!). It is glaringly obvious to me where and how good or bad manners originate from so the ill-mannered grand kids are on their own and will most likely produce an even worse group of ill-mannered kids in the future. Oh well..... life goes on............
Another topic was dealing with in-laws. Whenever we got together with our in-laws they monopolized their son, my husband. They talked about their family, their friends, their news which only he could relate to and I was left sitting there without contributing to the conversation. It got bad enough I'd just disappear and go read in the bedroom.
I call that "bad manners". I've been around selfish/ignorant folks like that and i stay with my own sense of self worth and/or get up and leave the fools to talk amongst themselves. My late wife and I often started our own "private" conversation with each other when we were ignored or excluded by such selfish idiots.
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I realize they're happy to see their son and catch him up on all the family and neighbor news. But I don't know those people. His parents had lived in the same house, he was born there. It's a small farming community. Of course everyone knows everyone's business. My husband said he really didn't care about what everyone else is doing and he knew how ostracized I felt.
They were just ill-mannered, ignorant FOOLS!
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This was one case of 'I'd never do that'. And I haven't. I know how hurtful it is. It got so bad with my husbands sisters and their talking over me about topics I can't contribute to that . . . . My husband told me if I don't want to see his sisters or visit them with him that I don't have to. He saw exactly how I was treated after I did tell him but he didn't believe me. Well, proof was there and he supported me in whatever I decided. And that was fine with me.
Self esteem training (google it) can help you deal with ignorant, selfish relatives and keep your own pride and self respect intact when you have to be around those pathetic MORONS. I'm glad you husband stands behind you against his selfish and ignorant relatives. The moment your self respect and pride rises, you will instinctively know how to handle these selfish FOOLS! Going off to the bedroom alone was a good strategy even if it may have hurt at the time. My late wife and I handled the selfishness of others by focusing on each other and then the selfish fools suddenly wanted in on our conversation!
I've found that the best defense against being hurt by bad manners or an absent "thank you" is to build up and reinforce my own self esteem and self respect so I can give WITHOUT any needy strings attached to the gift. I also am giving less and less!
Yes. I don't give like I used to. If they don't appreciate it, I don't need to give it. And frankly my son was taught and he knows better. Unfortunately that didn't extend to his kids.
So when my son, his wife, and their kids phone, I'm put on speaker and they're all in the same room. So I asked the oldest granddaughter about school starting and if she's still taking band. She said yes. Then admitted she doesn't like it but 'They want me to take it.'
Even though I was on speaker I told her that if she hates something she needs to speak out. There's plenty of other classes to take. Then I talked about the electives I took in middle school.
So after the phone call I emailed my son and wrote about his childhood. How he tried football, piano, and various interests and when he didn't like them, he moved on to something else. I encouraged him to try new things. I didn't put parent expectations on him like I see going on with my oldest granddaughter.
I feel bad for her. This will be a pattern. Both her mother and grandfather were in band. Great memories and talking about it at family gatherings.
So I asked the oldest granddaughter about school starting and if she's still taking band. She said yes. Then admitted she doesn't like it but 'They want me to take it.'
IMO, one of the most damaging aspects of being the child of selfish, demanding parents is how kids are FORCED or PRESSURED to do things and be a certain way just to PLEASE their very selfish and ignorant parents. I am a musician and I often meet folks who say they were FORCED to practice the piano and so they came to HATE music! You'd think that common sense would tell a parent NOT TO force their child to do or be anything other than what is RIGHT or healthy.
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Even though I was on speaker I told her that if she hates something she needs to speak out.
LOL, you did the right thing there and I can recall a few intelligent adults (not our parents) who gave me permission and strength to follow my heart back then.
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I didn't put parent expectations on him like I see going on with my oldest granddaughter. I feel bad for her.
There were a few times when family members STOOD UP for us kids - just not often enough! We sure would have welcomed a sensible grandparent like you seem to be!
Jimrich - Thank you. It's really tough being a long distance grandparent and it is a fine line when you get involved and speak up. And the thing with my oldest granddaughter - She is now 13. She is about 5'6" so because she is tall for her age, band decided she could handle the biggest brass instrument. And I hate how she wasn't given a choice, just what fits. She doesn't practice at home and I think right there that's a sign that she doesn't like band.
The only time I stood up and was uncertain about what my youngest wanted to do is join the Air Force. The problem for me was were didn't have any family in the service and no friends. We had no one to show us what military service was like and no one to confide in. We were lost and of course all you hear is the awful stories.
But we supported him and off he went. After boot camp he was a man and no longer a boy. We can't say enough good things about what the Air Force did for him. He also assured us that he'd only take a job that wasn't in combat. He was right but at the same time he never left the base he was stationed at.
Part of parenting is accepting their interests even if you're scared for them. Encouraging them to try and if they hate it move on. It's never wasted time or money if they're improving their lives.
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Who screwed you up?
Selfish FOOLS
