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Old 09-10-2017, 12:56 PM
 
35,121 posts, read 38,717,537 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SoftSleepyKitten View Post
I think it is sad to be so self-centred. It is normal though. Were you close to your own grandparents?
There is nothing self centered about the OP.
As a Grandparent it is not a written in stone law that you have to be excited with a Grandchild.
After a certain point in one's life *some* just do not like babies, toddlers or young children and everything that goes along with them.
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Old 09-10-2017, 01:06 PM
 
172 posts, read 84,850 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
There is nothing self centered about the OP.
As a Grandparent it is not a written in stone law that you have to be excited with a Grandchild.
After a certain point in one's life *some* just do not like babies, toddlers or young children and everything that goes along with them.
It is my opinion OP is indeed self centered and there is no law against it either.
It has nothing to do with liking babies but trying to forge a relationship with the child of your child.
The same way a teen may not really want to spend time with an old person but understands that we are all people and this is someone who loves them and wants a relationship with them.
Being a selfish person is not against the law either nor is forgoing the social niceties and expectations we used to hold.
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Old 09-10-2017, 01:07 PM
 
5,789 posts, read 4,611,458 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mountainsofmisery View Post
When first notified my daughter was expecting I was kind of ambivalent about it. Friends commented on how exciting it would be and how it would change my life but I had my doubts. My wife was over the moon with excitement. At party to announce sex of baby, upon hearing results I just hoped the baby would be healthy. Meantime, other grandfather to be was screaming and jumping around the room while I looked quizzically at him. Friends continued to tell me I would no longer want to spend time in AZ (live in OH), I'd be spending free time with the grandchild, etc...


I am very active, road cycling 6000 miles a year, hiking/backpacking 100+ miles an adventuresome type of guy. Grandchild arrived and I was glad both mom and son were healthy and proceeded to head to AZ as I usually do at that time of year. Hardly thought of the grandchild while away 45 days having an exciting time. Came back, the grandchild is adorable, no doubt. When they visit our home, I can take about 15 minutes and then I'm looking for an escape, especially if child cries. It's kind of been there, done that with 3 children and that was enough. Have no interest in doing it again and while I have said nothing, my daughter knows not to ask me to babysit or take what is now a 2 year old to doctor visits, etc... I have 1 friend who is exactly the same but everyone else looks quizzically at me if I express my real feelings so I rarely do. I wonder how unusual am I or what percent of grandparents share my view?
you are not alone. I don't have kids, so maybe that is why people feel free to tell me how they really feel about being grandparents - lol.
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Old 09-10-2017, 06:59 PM
 
6,251 posts, read 3,520,826 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
There is nothing self centered about the OP.
As a Grandparent it is not a written in stone law that you have to be excited with a Grandchild.
After a certain point in one's life *some* just do not like babies, toddlers or young children and everything that goes along with them.

I agree that some GPs don't like babies and everything that goes along with them. I also know that some grands of any age just don't like old people and everything that goes along with them. To me, both are self centered.

All of us were young once and more and more live to be old. If you can't have enough generosity of spirit to appreciate a baby, how can you expect anyone to have the generosity of spirit to care for you when you're old and dependent?
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Old 09-11-2017, 01:26 AM
 
1,695 posts, read 763,718 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Harpaint View Post
I understand what you're saying. But GPs like my dad and the OP just aren't interested and the parents can't change that. They don't want to bother coming down to the kid's level when they're small. By the time the kids are older, the GP is just an old stranger and it's awkward. My dad sailed his boat to our town's arena and never even called us! No interest at all in seeing little kids and maybe taking them on the boat for even 10 minutes. The surprising part is that as a kid he was close to his grandmother.

It's a question of priorities. Do you make time for people or not?


My dad flew out to Oregon to visit my cousin. Had dinner with them. He was only there for one night and he made that trip specifically to see her and her family. Another cousin lived nearby and was asked to come join them. This wasn't a last minute plan, everyone had notice. The other cousin didn't make it a priority, said they had a basketball game. Sure my dad was disappointed but shrugged it off. He had a great time with the family he came to see.


And I can't quite forgive that cousin for not coming to his funeral. She cited cost and time, I guess a step up from a basketball game. So yeah it's about priorities. Once upon a time she was close to my dad and my family when she was young. Age doesn't have much to do with keeping those ties close. It's about wanting to sustain the commitment. It takes work.
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Old 09-11-2017, 06:27 PM
 
35,121 posts, read 38,717,537 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SoftSleepyKitten View Post
It is my opinion OP is indeed self centered and there is no law against it either.
It has nothing to do with liking babies but trying to forge a relationship with the child of your child.
The same way a teen may not really want to spend time with an old person but understands that we are all people and this is someone who loves them and wants a relationship with them.
Being a selfish person is not against the law either nor is forgoing the social niceties and expectations we used to hold.
Well a lot of people we know are very self centered including a lot on this forum because they do ot want to *forge a relationship* with others and it has nothing to do with liking babies and there is no law against it either.
Also, your opinion only affects you and *social niceties* are not required no matter who you are to whom.
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Old 09-11-2017, 07:19 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
74,852 posts, read 66,528,980 times
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Babies--meh. I'm with you, OP.
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Old 09-13-2017, 06:15 PM
 
Location: Granville, OH and Oro Valley, AZ
114 posts, read 135,023 times
Reputation: 193
Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
Well a lot of people we know are very self centered including a lot on this forum because they do ot want to *forge a relationship* with others and it has nothing to do with liking babies and there is no law against it either.
Also, your opinion only affects you and *social niceties* are not required no matter who you are to whom.
Thank you CSD610 and others who bothered to reply with good, bad or odd comments. The child lights up when he sees me because I represent a fun time. It's just after 15 minutes, I have had enough. Perhaps when he becomes older (about 1.5 now) I'll spend more time with him. For those critical of me, that is ok but I would enjoy having a look at your life and seeing how it compares to mine. If you were capable of living mine, would you have the same opinion? I'm 59 and can hike to the bottom of the Grand Canyon and out in less than 6 hours (South Kaibab down. Bright Angel out). My fitness permits me to see wondrous things not via Youtube but in person. There is no way I will forego a cycling trip to France for a month or hiking/backpacking for a winter in the southwest for a grandchild. I had a wonderful time with my grandfather and can remember vividly our times playing in a "father/son" golf league among many other events. I too will have those experiences with my grandchild but foregoing the events that bring me so much joy or the time required to maintain the fitness level that permits these experiences, no way. So, to my original point, that people claimed a grand child will change me forever, nope.
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Old 09-14-2017, 09:58 AM
 
16,724 posts, read 14,067,568 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mountainsofmisery View Post
I'm 59 and can hike to the bottom of the Grand Canyon and out in less than 6 hours (South Kaibab down. Bright Angel out).
Good for you. I'd rather be sharing time with a grandchild than alone with the lizards, but that's just me.
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Old 09-14-2017, 10:12 AM
 
5,774 posts, read 4,662,360 times
Reputation: 4230
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Babies--meh. I'm with you, OP.
Same here.
Everyone is different.
The whole time reading the OP, I was like "yeah... ok... I'd be the same way... yep, sounds about right....what's the problem here?"
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