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Old 04-14-2018, 04:02 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,889 posts, read 17,203,069 times
Reputation: 40787

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Quote:
Originally Posted by ginger34 View Post
op you are so ungrateful its sick. You're actually annoyed you're getting help?
Quote:
Originally Posted by catzpaw View Post
read the first post and skipped the next 256, did you?
lol!
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Old 04-14-2018, 04:31 PM
 
Location: Denver CO
21,006 posts, read 11,633,974 times
Reputation: 31852
^^^^^

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Old 04-18-2018, 10:08 AM
 
62 posts, read 46,434 times
Reputation: 155
I made an appointment for a marriage therapist, my H can come or not. But I need someone to vent to and get help. I also found a divorce attorney. I’m not rushing into anything but I feel like it wouldn’t hurt to get some more information.

Over the weekend I met some girlfriends for mommy and me class at a small children’s bookstore. This place was tiny and seemed to be a local only thing a few towns over. We were in the middle of story time when MIL showed up. She acted so surprised to see us and claimed to be buying baby books. But this place is almost an hour from her. I find it hard to believe she just happened to be there at th same time. I know my H didn’t tell her because he didn’t even know. Before I left, I just told him I was meeting some mom friends. I think MIL tracked me down through Instagram, one of my friends did post a picture and tagged me in it. It’s just too much. This was the last straw
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Old 04-18-2018, 10:24 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
42,683 posts, read 41,411,184 times
Reputation: 82038
Quote:
Originally Posted by Loyolane View Post
I made an appointment for a marriage therapist, my H can come or not. But I need someone to vent to and get help. I also found a divorce attorney. Iím not rushing into anything but I feel like it wouldnít hurt to get some more information.

Over the weekend I met some girlfriends for mommy and me class at a small childrenís bookstore. This place was tiny and seemed to be a local only thing a few towns over. We were in the middle of story time when MIL showed up. She acted so surprised to see us and claimed to be buying baby books. But this place is almost an hour from her. I find it hard to believe she just happened to be there at th same time. I know my H didnít tell her because he didnít even know. Before I left, I just told him I was meeting some mom friends. I think MIL tracked me down through Instagram, one of my friends did post a picture and tagged me in it. Itís just too much. This was the last straw
Good lord.

Look, the best thing you can do right now is educate yourself about your options and set up a strong support system, so you are on the right track.

Definitely definitely get to a therapist. You need help to get through this challenging time.

You may or may not stay married to him, but you need help figuring out how to make the best of either of those options. A divorce attorney can provide you with some numbers, but having recently gone through a divorce myself I want to offer you these words of advice:

Try to find an attorney who specializes in custody issues, because honestly I think that should be your primary concern, and as someone advised upthread your state may automatically award your husband a certain number of days per year with your child that you may not be comfortable with.

Once attorneys get involved, things get much more intense and much more about "winning." You can go into it being amicable, but when you get a piece of paper making certain demands, it changes the tenor of the situation.

I'm not sure if I posted this link earlier, but look to see if there is one of these workshops in your area. It's a free resource that counsels women on what to think about when considering divorce. It may be a better first step than an attorney visit (it's run by attorneys FYI):

https://www.secondsaturday.com/

GOOD LUCK

Hang in there, mama, and do keep us updated
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Old 04-18-2018, 10:28 AM
 
15,254 posts, read 16,772,448 times
Reputation: 25416
Quote:
Originally Posted by Loyolane View Post
I made an appointment for a marriage therapist, my H can come or not. But I need someone to vent to and get help. I also found a divorce attorney. Iím not rushing into anything but I feel like it wouldnít hurt to get some more information.

Over the weekend I met some girlfriends for mommy and me class at a small childrenís bookstore. This place was tiny and seemed to be a local only thing a few towns over. We were in the middle of story time when MIL showed up. She acted so surprised to see us and claimed to be buying baby books. But this place is almost an hour from her. I find it hard to believe she just happened to be there at th same time. I know my H didnít tell her because he didnít even know. Before I left, I just told him I was meeting some mom friends. I think MIL tracked me down through Instagram, one of my friends did post a picture and tagged me in it. Itís just too much. This was the last straw
Holy cow! If she tracked you down and went there, she's a verified nut and this goes way beyond a grandma wanting to spend time with her grandson. I hope you deleted her from your Instagram account. And, not to be too paranoid, but is it possible she or your husband have some other way of tracking you?

Did she hang around? Did you say anything to her?

I'm glad you're taking steps to take care of you and your son.
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Old 04-18-2018, 10:32 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
42,683 posts, read 41,411,184 times
Reputation: 82038
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marlow View Post
I hope you deleted her from your Instagram account.
Ohhhh but if she blocks Grandma, how will Grandma see every single pic of Baby???

Yeah, OP, block her. She's abusing the system.
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Old 04-18-2018, 04:13 PM
 
Location: here
24,839 posts, read 29,984,374 times
Reputation: 32387
Quote:
Originally Posted by Loyolane View Post
I made an appointment for a marriage therapist, my H can come or not. But I need someone to vent to and get help. I also found a divorce attorney. Iím not rushing into anything but I feel like it wouldnít hurt to get some more information.

Over the weekend I met some girlfriends for mommy and me class at a small childrenís bookstore. This place was tiny and seemed to be a local only thing a few towns over. We were in the middle of story time when MIL showed up. She acted so surprised to see us and claimed to be buying baby books. But this place is almost an hour from her. I find it hard to believe she just happened to be there at th same time. I know my H didnít tell her because he didnít even know. Before I left, I just told him I was meeting some mom friends. I think MIL tracked me down through Instagram, one of my friends did post a picture and tagged me in it. Itís just too much. This was the last straw
OMG

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marlow View Post
Holy cow! If she tracked you down and went there, she's a verified nut and this goes way beyond a grandma wanting to spend time with her grandson. I hope you deleted her from your Instagram account. And, not to be too paranoid, but is it possible she or your husband have some other way of tracking you?

Did she hang around? Did you say anything to her?

I'm glad you're taking steps to take care of you and your son.
This.

She needs to get a life. What on Earth did she do before the baby?
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Old 04-18-2018, 04:15 PM
 
1,705 posts, read 871,117 times
Reputation: 2142
Like I posted awhile back. . . Restraining order on the grandmother. I don't know why hubby doesn't say no to her.

I am so glad you went to a mommy's event and are making friends, feeling a part of the community.

Now maybe someone else can say more on this thought: Does she have to protect her finances so he won't take everything? Make sure her car is in her name and not his.. . Same with the bank account, etc.? And that she won't be paying bills he racks up.
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Old 04-18-2018, 05:32 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
42,683 posts, read 41,411,184 times
Reputation: 82038
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sollaces View Post
Now maybe someone else can say more on this thought: Does she have to protect her finances so he won't take everything? Make sure her car is in her name and not his.. . Same with the bank account, etc.? And that she won't be paying bills he racks up.
These are the kinds of questions the Second Saturday seminar addresses: steps women can take to begin the separation process, if necessary.

*making copies of necessary documents
*legal rights of both spouses
*establishing credit in her name, if she hasn't already
*prepping her resume
*whether she should keep the house
*legal implications of living separately under the same roof
*moving past fears

etc

There's a LOT to consider, but right now a psychologist who has experience with custody issues can guide her through how she can protect her relationship with her child given the very weird relationship with her in-laws and husband.
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Old 04-18-2018, 08:13 PM
 
Location: Denver CO
21,006 posts, read 11,633,974 times
Reputation: 31852
OP glad you are starting to explore options and look for support.

And maybe hearing that it could be worse will help in a misery loves company way. (NSFW)

https://www.reddit.com/r/beyondthebu...apped_my_baby/
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