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Old 05-14-2018, 09:34 PM
 
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�� wow I am speechless. Please go and see a counselor. The way you are being treated is appalling.

If you must visit I’d say book into a hotel and no waiting in parking lots.
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Old 05-16-2018, 10:14 AM
 
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I dunno, to me it's like a son who's ready for healthier boundaries. You know...grown up and ready to leave mommy's apron strings.
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Old 05-16-2018, 10:29 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elhelmete View Post
I dunno, to me it's like a son who's ready for healthier boundaries. You know...grown up and ready to leave mommy's apron strings.
s

Really? She visits twice a year and is made to wait in a parking lot for 2 hours? That is just mean and intended as a blatant insult, not healthy boundaries.
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Old 05-16-2018, 10:37 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Harpaint View Post
s

Really? She visits twice a year and is made to wait in a parking lot for 2 hours? That is just mean and intended as a blatant insult, not healthy boundaries.
Yes really. Things don't get this bad out of the blue/one-sided.
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Old 05-16-2018, 10:53 AM
 
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Originally Posted by elhelmete View Post
Yes really. Things don't get this bad out of the blue/one-sided.
If he is so grown up now, what about just addressing any problems he has with his mother by talking. Or if the relationship is that bad, then end it altogether.
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Old 05-16-2018, 11:32 AM
 
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I hesitate to comment here for fear of coming off as a hijack or to start a new thread, but I could relate a similar story.

We live far from my mom.

Mom is NOT a happy traveler. Not by air, not driving. Just doesn't like it. I respect that.

However, mom also forces herself to do things she doesn't like and the results are always bad. She's on and off her meds. She always gets "sick" or has a meltdown when she forces herself to travel. She creates scenes. She's quick to blame. Then she'll pendulum back to being a sweet mom/grandmom. Back and forth. She has a cadre of 'friends' from church that agree with everything she feels and says. Mom has come up with a dozen reasons why we're not compatible anymore, and delights in telling me those reasons (where I live, my work, what I eat, who I voted for) but then swings right back to being nice.

She has had uncomplimentary things to say about my wife...which if she only knew...my wife is the one person who has encouraged me NOT to write my mom off completely.

Recently she said she could do a 3 day trip to see my daughter, her GD, graduate. Set it up for her. Woke up one day to a TEXT saying after spending a week in Montana she realizes (AGAIN!!) she's not a good traveler. But she was OK for a week-long trip to visit random cousins...just not her son and grandkids, not without drama. I gave it to her good. I'm sure she and her church friends are all clucking their tongues and blaming my dear wife...the wife who again begged me not to cut her out of my life.

I could go on....but all I want to say is there are most definitely 2 sides to every mother-son story. Too much in the OP sounded too familiar...
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Old 05-16-2018, 11:45 AM
 
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I agree there are two sides to any relationship. But I disagree that vindictive mean behavior is the way to handle it.
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Old 05-16-2018, 12:01 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Harpaint View Post
I agree there are two sides to any relationship. But I disagree that vindictive mean behavior is the way to handle it.
True, but I wouldn't be surprised if my mom describes me as 'vindictive' to all her friends...her friends that get extremely selective information.
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Old 05-17-2018, 08:04 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
39,047 posts, read 37,675,762 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elhelmete View Post
Yes really. Things don't get this bad out of the blue/one-sided.
Absolutely. You can tell from the way the posts are written that "Broken-hearted Nani" is very well versed in being a victim who somehow has NO idea why her own child would "suddenly" treat her this way.
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Old 05-17-2018, 08:07 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elhelmete View Post
Yes really. Things don't get this bad out of the blue/one-sided.
Yes they do if someone ends up with a controlling spouse
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