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My problem is a unique one. I run an in home childcare. I am state licensed to take six children. This is the "only" way I can make a living. My problem is that my DIL & son see me as a free babysitter. Free Monday-Thursday for Mom to go to school. What they don't realize is that I am 50 years old and my six daycare children plus their baby is very taxing on me. There is just so much I can do. I don't feel like I am being selfish at all. I do feel like I am being taking advantage of. I was looking on here for some solutions as to how to politely tell them that I can't do any more than I already do. By Friday evenings, I am a walking zombie. I am soooo tired.
I also do day care .. and CHARGE my kids the going rate .. I get 2.00 hour for little ones $1.75 hour for older ones over the age of 3.. you do have to stand up and tell them that thier mooching is causeing you issues with your job and trust me day care is a job .. Why do they think you should do it for free? Because your grandma.. oh nooo stop that nonsense right now .
If these are your adult kids that are taking advantage of you, when and how did they learn that technique? Is it just possible that YOU, their parent, taught them that? Did you teach them to be self-reliant? To work out problems for themselves? To be responsible for their own circumstances?
AND, oftentimes adult kids assume their parents want to be actively and intimately involved in raising their grandchildren because the grandparents have been actively and intimately involved since the grandkids were embryos--opining about baby names and immunizations and cloth diapers vs. baby diapers and sleep techniques. All the thinks posted and discussed on C-D Grandparenting forum every day. If you stick your nose in it, you have to expect to get dirty. If you don't want to be involved, that's fine. I'd even say preferable. But keep your tongue out of it, not just your hands.
Not saying that's the case with every grandparent contributing to this thread. I'm just offering some food for thought.
I don`t know what is going on with this generation of kids but from my own experience I`ve seen grandparents being expected to babysit all of the time. Like there is a since of entitlement going on here. The grandparents(the ones I know) complain about it but never use the word, no or they make an excuse that their kids need them to sit because they have no one else. I`m not against grandparents helping a bit or babysitting but from what I`ve seen, it`s excessive. I never had anyone to turn to and had to figure things out for myself. These kids can figure things out for themselves if the parents will let them. But I think a lot of grandparents have their own agendas for why they continue to do this.
I don`t know what is going on with this generation of kids but from my own experience I`ve seen grandparents being expected to babysit all of the time. Like there is a since of entitlement going on here.
I don't know what is going on with older generations but I've seen too many people use the word 'entitlement' to refer to anything they don't like about someone of a different age. Grandparents these days.....
So it's Spring break and I'm stuck with the Grandkids for 3 days this week not that my wife isn't happy about it. That's where we disagree. I'm retired now and don't feel like I want to be tied down (not to mention the whining) and my wife doesn't understand this. The kids are working only to spend more while others have to babysit. I myself would prefer to work than be stuck home all day with kids......lol. So because of my wife, the sky's the limit.
Well I learned to say no to my daughter and is banned from seeing my grandbabies...My daughter said grandparents should babysit and babysit for free and grandparents should also be an on call babysitters if they want to see the grandchildren...I miss seeing my grandbabies, last time I saw them it's now 3 months...Don't grandparents have any rights as to visit their grandbabies???
Well I learned to say no to my daughter and is banned from seeing my grandbabies...My daughter said grandparents should babysit and babysit for free and grandparents should also be an on call babysitters if they want to see the grandchildren...I miss seeing my grandbabies, last time I saw them it's now 3 months...Don't grandparents have any rights as to visit their grandbabies???
Grandparents do have a legal right to see Grandchildren just as divorced parents do.
Wow Angel, sounds like your daughter is munipulating you. Big time... I`m sorry about that. It`s too bad she doesn`t see what she is doing to the kids.
I have three kids and don't expect my parents or inlaws to be free babysitters. I call a local teenager when I need help.
That said, it wouldn't kill them to take my kids for an occassional overnight visit or just a trip to the movies or out for ice cream. They always compliment us on how well behaved the kids are, but the only time they spend time with them is when we visit or when they visit us.
When I was a little girl I'd have sleepovers with my grandmother once a month or so and she would take my sisters and I on little inexpensive daytrips. I treasure those memories.
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