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When their relationship ends (which you know as well as I do is incredibly likely)...it will at the bare minimum provide some protection for her son.
well, I suppose. To stand before God and promise to stay together for the rest of your life, if you know it isn't going to happen just doesn't seem right.
well, I suppose. To stand before God and promise to stay together for the rest of your life, if you know it isn't going to happen just doesn't seem right.
It doesn't seem right to me either. But, at the same time, this would be a very difficult situation to deal with and I think the protection would be worth it.
honestly? why force them into marriage at this young age? It won't solve anything.
I'm with you on this one. Shotgun weddings never seem to really work out to well.
I've known several young couples who felt like they had to get married or were forced to get married and within a year or two at most they were getting divorced, which turned into an ugly nightmare. Which I think was made ugly because it was a divorce and not a break-up. There was a lot more resentment, hate and bitterness because they felt trapped and not just by the baby, but by the marriage liscence. Because of the resentment, hate and bitterness the child/ren got caught in the middle.
I'm with you on this one. Shotgun weddings never seem to really work out to well.
I've known several young couples who felt like they had to get married or were forced to get married and within a year or two at most they were getting divorced, which turned into an ugly nightmare. Which I think was made ugly because it was a divorce and not a break-up. There was a lot more resentment, hate and bitterness because they felt trapped and not just by the baby, but by the marriage liscence. Because of the resentment, hate and bitterness the child/ren got caught in the middle.
Right. breaking up is a lot less complicated than getting a divorce. Until the other poster brought it up, I had never thought about "protecting" the child legally. I don't know how different custody issues are if the couple never marries. He's still the father, marriage, or not.
Right. breaking up is a lot less complicated than getting a divorce. Until the other poster brought it up, I had never thought about "protecting" the child legally. I don't know how different custody issues are if the couple never marries. He's still the father, marriage, or not.
As long as a parent can prove that they are the biological parent, they can get the same kind of visitation and rights as a parent who divorced the other parent. (courts can compell the custodial parent to get a child tested if need be.) Even in divorces the custodial parent can lie about the non custodial parent, like how much visitation they excersise, or what kind of lifestyle the live...etc. The key thing is the non-custodial parent needs to stay up to date with support, by doing so the courts will usually give the non-custodial parent as much time with the child as possible. If there is a chance that the custodial parent is going to lie about the non-custodial parent,(which is usually about how much time they have spent with child) then the non-custodial parent should document (preferably with some sort of recording device like video cameras) each and every time they are with the child or tried to see the child.
Yes...this seems to indicate that her maturity level is even lower than that of the average 16 year old. Which makes me think someone needs to pound some reality into her.
No better way to pound some maturity into her, than making her responsible for raising her own child, with their supervision of course for the child's safety. 16 yo. hate having their sleep disrupted or their free time with friends to hang out and party gone. But when you have a child, that child takes precedence over the parent's needs and wants.
If her parents are going to do most of the raising, then they should talk both the girlfriend and the OP's son into letting them adopt it. This will at least let the OP's son off the hook, and their daughter can continue to not learn anything from it.
No better way to pound some maturity into her, than making her responsible for raising her own child, with their supervision of course for the child's safety. 16 yo. hate having their sleep disrupted or their free time with friends to hang out and party gone. But when you have a child, that child takes precedence over the parent's needs and wants.
If her parents are going to do most of the raising, then they should talk both the girlfriend and the OP's son into letting them adopt it. This will at least let the OP's son off the hook, and their daughter can continue to not learn anything from it.
Oh I definitely agree. I was simply suggesting that, since she seems to be very immature, that supervision needs to be in place for the child's safety, as you said.
As to the part of your post I bolded, I agree and something tells me that this girl stopped taking her BC thinking of a very "romanticized" view of being a mother. She wants to continue to do the normal teenage things yet also have a child...but she only wants the best parts of having a child.
That's why someone needs to make clear that her teenage years have ended early.
As long as a parent can prove that they are the biological parent, they can get the same kind of visitation and rights as a parent who divorced the other parent. (courts can compell the custodial parent to get a child tested if need be.) Even in divorces the custodial parent can lie about the non custodial parent, like how much visitation they excersise, or what kind of lifestyle the live...etc. The key thing is the non-custodial parent needs to stay up to date with support, by doing so the courts will usually give the non-custodial parent as much time with the child as possible. If there is a chance that the custodial parent is going to lie about the non-custodial parent,(which is usually about how much time they have spent with child) then the non-custodial parent should document (preferably with some sort of recording device like video cameras) each and every time they are with the child or tried to see the child.
And if he marries her he's on the hook for spousal support, too, not just child support. He should absolutely support the kid, but I think he should only marry her if he actually wants to.
And if he marries her he's on the hook for spousal support, too, not just child support. He should absolutely support the kid, but I think he should only marry her if he actually wants to.
So True!! The best thing is to let them decide if and when they get married. They have to work things out on their own, who knows by the time she is actually legal to marry without parental consent they may decide to tie the knot and it could be a marriage made in heaven rather than he!!. They have to fall in love first instead of just being in lust with each other. True love outlasts infatuation.
When their relationship ends (which you know as well as I do is incredibly likely)...it will at the bare minimum provide some protection for her son.
Such as....? I don't think there is any protection stemming from marriage that wouldn't be available without marriage. I am assuming that the father will be listed on the birth certificate and willing to sign a document of paternity, if that is what is required in that state. Once he acknowledges paternity, he is responsible for (his share of) providing and supporting that child regardless of whether or not he is married to the mother of the child. What additional protection would a marriage provide?
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