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Old 02-04-2010, 07:54 PM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
4,166 posts, read 5,379,916 times
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My Mom loved my sons very much and she was proud of her two grandsons....But my Mom used to say that other people had grankids too and this is why she didn't boast and brag about my boys when she was with friends....If someone asked her about her grandsons this was different....She would open up and share more if someone expressed interest...but otherwise she never went on and on about my sons on her own. And she always asked her friends about their kids and grandkids. How do you feel about grandparents who boast and brag about their grandkids? How much is TOO MUCH?
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Old 02-08-2010, 05:28 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,141,087 times
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Unless people are conversing with very close friends, in general, people don't want to hear about someone else's grandchildren any more than they want to hear about how amazing their pets are or see their vacation photos.

Now, with close friends, of course - people are going to be mentioning things they did with their grandchildren and friends are going to ask about the whole family, including the grandchildren. That is a mutual exchange b/n friends who care about all the details of one another's lives.

But with most people, other than family members and close friends, no one cares what "cute thing" your g/child said or did or want to see their photos, etc. It is especially annoying in situations, such as at work or church or the doctor's office, where the listener more or less has to be polite and endure the "stories."

Folks who spend a lot of time talking about their grandchildren make me wonder if they have nothing else going on in their lives.

YOUR MOM WAS RIGHT!!!!!!
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Old 02-10-2010, 07:02 AM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
4,166 posts, read 5,379,916 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
Unless people are conversing with very close friends, in general, people don't want to hear about someone else's grandchildren any more than they want to hear about how amazing their pets are or see their vacation photos.

Now, with close friends, of course - people are going to be mentioning things they did with their grandchildren and friends are going to ask about the whole family, including the grandchildren. That is a mutual exchange b/n friends who care about all the details of one another's lives.

But with most people, other than family members and close friends, no one cares what "cute thing" your g/child said or did or want to see their photos, etc. It is especially annoying in situations, such as at work or church or the doctor's office, where the listener more or less has to be polite and endure the "stories."

Folks who spend a lot of time talking about their grandchildren make me wonder if they have nothing else going on in their lives.

YOUR MOM WAS RIGHT!!!!!!
Thanks for your post....Ditto. I agree with everything you wrote.
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Old 02-10-2010, 07:44 AM
 
Location: USA
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It doesn't bother me when people talk about their grandkids, it shows that they love them. I think it's cute....
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Old 02-10-2010, 07:48 AM
 
Location: Texas
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Isn't that a grandparent's job?
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Old 02-10-2010, 10:14 AM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
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I enjoy hearing about my friends' kids and grandkids. But I get turned off when people act like their grandkids are the end all be all...I think there is a difference between healthy pride and arrogance....I don't carry around photos of my kids and grandkids and show them to everyone who crosses my path....I love my family very much and I feel proud of everyone. I don't need to tell the world how much I love my kids and grandkids or prove that I love them by carrying around photos....or by talking non-stop about them....I don't want to bore anyone or hog the conversation with talk about my family......If someone asks me about my family this is different...Then I will open up a little more.
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Old 02-10-2010, 10:45 AM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
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I think that we are all different when it comes to our families. A lot of women wrap their entire identity around their kids and grandkids....just like a lot of men wrap most of their identities around their jobs. In traditional marriages a woman does view her kids and grandkids as her whole life...and as her products so to speak...Have you noticed this? This is not wrong or bad per se. But I think it's important to remember that everyone isn't exactly the same...Some women love their family but they don't want to limit their conversations to talk about their kids and grandkids......or other people's kids and grandkids.
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Old 02-10-2010, 03:02 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,141,087 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CArizona View Post
I think that we are all different when it comes to our families. A lot of women wrap their entire identity around their kids and grandkids....just like a lot of men wrap most of their identities around their jobs. In traditional marriages a woman does view her kids and grandkids as her whole life...and as her products so to speak...Have you noticed this? This is not wrong or bad per se. But I think it's important to remember that everyone isn't exactly the same...Some women love their family but they don't want to limit their conversations to talk about their kids and grandkids......or other people's kids and grandkids.
That makes a lot of sense to me. I know with close friends - we women are always gonna be discussing the details of our lives, and that would include our families. But usually, most of us only have a handful of really close friends who we exchange that type of info with.

I have had 2 family members in the past who simply could not come up with conversation unless it centered on their grandkids. It was a huge turnoff to the entire family. It got where we dreaded even having to be around these folks. And their g/kids were embarrassed about it, as it seemed to be accompanied by a one upsmanship - trying to "prove" how much smarter, cuter, more athletic, etc their grandkids were as opposed to anyone else's, lol.

Now, the truth is . . . those kids have all grown up. Indeed, it was probably true that these kids (all five of them!) were smarter than most of their peers. Every single one of them has at least an advanced degree and two have doctorates - and all of them are engineers, including the girls. But the sad thing is - they didn't enjoy being around family members when their g/parents were around, wh/ meant the kids just kind of drifted out of our lives b/c they refused to attend family events. Yep. It was that bad - the on and on "wonder children stories."

I don't think most cases are that exaggerated, but I just mention it to say that some g/parents go way overboard w/ the "how great my g/kids are" stories - to the point of really annoying others and even embarrassing their own g/children (whom they obviously adore).

I feel the same way about parents who get competitive with other parents about their children. Most of us think our kids and g/kids are terrific, and that is the way it should be. But no one is as interested in our g/kids as we are . . . too many "cute" stories and folks are just gonna run and hide, lol.
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Old 02-10-2010, 03:31 PM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
4,166 posts, read 5,379,916 times
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Anifani...I enjoyed your post. Thanks for the common sense...A few weeks ago I took my cat to the vet and ran into a female acquaintance who was there with her dog....The woman spent the entire time boasting and bragging about her new puppies...and showed me photo after photo of her mama dog and puppies...as if they were her grandkids.
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Old 02-10-2010, 04:23 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,141,087 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CArizona View Post
Anifani...I enjoyed your post. Thanks for the common sense...A few weeks ago I took my cat to the vet and ran into a female acquaintance who was there with her dog....The woman spent the entire time boasting and bragging about her new puppies...and showed me photo after photo of her mama dog and puppies...as if they were her grandkids.
HEE HEE!!! She doubtless was thrilled to have a captive audience, too.
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