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I think a key element in this debate is separating between anecdotal evidence and science based evidence, though I suppose the same can be said for most debates.
Put in the simplest of terms, yes, on average, people who are generally considered attractive make more money, have better jobs, higher education and report a higher level of happiness than people who are generally perceived as "normal" or unattractive.
The problem here is that when people "report" their happiness, they may overlook the frequency and intensity of their ups and downs. Even if they're in kind of a bad mood at the time, people stop and look at what's in their lives before deciding how happy they are. It's not easy to separate happiness (as it's being used in this thread) and gratitude. So perhaps, the rich and beautiful are reporting on what they have to be grateful for and not really how happy they are on a regular basis.
Try it some time. Try to answer a formal question of "How happy are you?" without the question "What do I have to be grateful for?" popping into your mind.
Doors do open more easily for the beautiful. It doesn't necessarily guarantee them success or love, though.
I am in the position of being a fairly unattractive (we can say "plain") woman who by some random fallout of the genetic lottery had a beautiful daughter. Not just saying this because she's my daughter. Her face is beautiful. People have commented on her looks all her life. (I wish I had a dollar for every time I've heard, "That's YOUR daughter??") She never had an "awkward" stage. She's now 20.
I've watched what it's like for a beautiful person vs. my own experience. She had a boyfriend all through high school. Teachers liked her. She was elected to school offices. Her life thus far has been completely different from my own experience of the first 20 years.
What I didn't expect, though, was finding that a beautiful person still has self-doubts in other areas, still is hurt when a friend does them wrong, still has to make major decisions that will affect her for the rest of her life. And in the end, the kind of person you are still matters more than your looks if you are striving to live any sort of meaningful life. I think I've taught her that.
I don't think anyone, including scientist are trying to say that your lot in life is entirely based on your physical appearance, you do however bring up some key factors yourself.
Though your daughter experience all the regular emotions that is normal for someone her age, she's still (by your own admission), being treated better than someone who's plain. People seem to be drawn to her, elect her or give her more important positions than her peers and she's better liked by her superiors (in this case, teachers), although none of these events by themselves in any way guarantee success, all of them helps, and combined, they have the possibility to help a lot, and that's what the science has proven.
The extra open doors, the fact that people like you more and are drawn to you all help you throughout your life, from teachers giving you more attention (and better grades), to getting in to better schools and getting better paying and more rewarding jobs, and I find it surprising when I see people who aren't in that position (generally, not you) trying to undermine the culminated effect of all that can have on someones life.
I personally don't think people are mean or evil for favoring attractive people like this, we all do it, it's part of nature, what I do think is that it's foolish to ignore this reaction, because if you ignore or undermine it, you can't be aware of it, and if you're not aware, one can't, as a society, compensate for it, to at least try and treat people more as equals.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0
The problem here is that when people "report" their happiness, they may overlook the frequency and intensity of their ups and downs. Even if they're in kind of a bad mood at the time, people stop and look at what's in their lives before deciding how happy they are. It's not easy to separate happiness (as it's being used in this thread) and gratitude. So perhaps, the rich and beautiful are reporting on what they have to be grateful for and not really how happy they are on a regular basis.
Try it some time. Try to answer a formal question of "How happy are you?" without the question "What do I have to be grateful for?" popping into your mind.
I agree that there might very well be some confusion in the use of terminology and words, but I think that's more amongst us "commoners" (and I say that humorously ) than amongst the scientists and professors who study these trends.
I only provided link to 3-4 news reports or articles regarding these trends, but a Google search will give more than enough resources showing just how much someones level of attractiveness can affect their lives, from easier access to rewarding jobs and higher income levels, to better health and more satisfied life, and most of these trends appear to be measurable, not based on educated "guessing". (Like the fact that people who are overwhelmingly considered attractive are more likely to have a higher income than someone who is plain or unattractive).
As with anything, these large scale studies only suggests trends and on an individual level, there might be other key factors that play a larger role (Bill Gates brain and business sense for instance), but the trends seem to overwhelmingly indicate that physically attractive people generally have it "easier" and that they either by own admission or the measurement of others, are, at the very least, more likely to be happy (or content) with their life.
My take would be yes. They accrue advantages, but it is debatable whether they are always happier, it depends upon how they develop internally.
However, there are many forms of beauty. Some of them are in our control, and some not. For instance, very few women are going to look like Halle Berry, Cameron Diaz, or Penelope Cruz no matter what they do. But many undermine themselves by becoming obese, taking poor care of their skin and teeth, addictions, etc., and of course developing a sour or narcissisic personnality. Most people who are healthy, warm, generous, smile often and show compassion for others, etc. are considered attractive, and their good will and positive impression is largely returned. Will they end up with the Brad Pitts of the world? Probably not, but that is a very narrow view of happiness and success. I guess my thought is to focus on the deeper elements of beauty, not the surface ones. Angelina Jolie is going to be an old woman some day too, and if she has only been banking on her looks, she will be angry and bitter.
My personal impression, and it may be a cliche, is that people who are very physically attractive don't feel as much need to develop their deeper qualities, and many are rather annoying to be around for much time. This is not a generality, just a caution that physical beauty is pretty fleeting and a poor investment if it deflects making efforts in improving one's self more fully.
Hmm, I like this topic so I'll throw in another 2 cents...
I think there's like, maybe a few different types of beautiful people.
#1. Those just born it
#2 Those who become it (ugly ducklings who blossom at 25)
#3 Those who *think* they're it
#4 and then those who physically are not but internally *experience* life as though they were...what we call "beautiful on the inside".
I know for sake of arugment you guys are referring to the #1 and 2s in this topic so....
(Lot of those 'perfect celebs' are in fact #2's)
I personally feel, the ones who seem to flaunt it the most are #2. The #1's only know of being beautiful, so they do not have the negative to compare to. (It's like, if you never felt pain, you can't feel love thing) There's a very yin/yang element to this.
To feel Beauty, you must have felt ugly. Otherwise, you don't sense you are beautiful, you sense you are just normal.
Only if you were once "not" beautiful, and then turn beautiful, do you really feel the effect of beauty.
that is why the #2 are the ones who often... I would say, maybe behave in ways that others sense as being bad or questionable or flaunting or just being 'better than'...
This is why, lot of 'handsome men' often only date the stripper looking girls and marry a 'natural'.. because they know, the stripper was likely to have once been the '4th prettiest girl with issues'. the natural was the one in high school all the other girls knew just had it....
but the natural became the most down to earth.. didn't sex herself out.. and now, probably has the best family with kids and home and, probably ISN'T on facebook. She's happy. If she is on facebook, she's not the one posting everything she's doing.
The strippers, the celebs... they're alll over facebook. Because, they were once not that natural pretty girl.. they were 2nd to her.. or 3rd, or even further down. But now, with makeup, clothes, hair, fashion, and some age... maybe some silicon here and there... they are BAM... like that!!!
And they are soakin it up.... hell yeah.
But see everything has a good/bad. The 'natural' is most down to earth, probably finds the 'best husband', but often times, they are depressed, because they don't party, they don't dance, they don't get 'craaaazy' and have a good time. Sex could be 'a bit boring' as they don't spread their legs or poledance.
then the stripper girls, or celebs, or hotties with the bodies... often, feel sad because the man they really love doesn't marry them, he marries that natural girl who is depressed cause she isn't as crazy as those stripper girls.
So those hotties have to settle with jesse james or someone, and learn to 'give up' on their true love, which was the man who married the natural boring girl who has boring sex, but good enough sex to produce babies, which was the point.
So you see, nobody will ever be happy. Now you guys, are asking, or saying.. well.. s**t, I ain't none of that, so I'd take it anyday.
See, so you're not happy either.
Guess who's happy??
ME!!!!!!!!!!! Cause, I just sit back, and watch all 3 of you talk about which one is the happiest. I'm probably the #3.
Ultimately, I think beauty is in the eye of the beholder. However, our society is too socially complex to let looks alone determine whether someone has an easy life or not. For example, a beautiful person could be born into a very poor background in a dysfunctional abusive family. Being a pretty face does not guarantee an easy ride. I have met many absolutely drop dead gorgeous girls who were bartenders at nasty ghetto stripclubs or cashiers at McDonald's. Although these women gained much male attention mostly in the form of sexual harassment, they felt trapped in dead end jobs and sometimes rough life situations due to bad luck and lack of opportunities. You ever heard the phrase "nice girl in the wrong place"? That about sums it up. There are many beautiful women in the porn industry who let themselves be unspeakably defiled on film for a few dollars. Not all female porn stars are raking in dough, mind you; only a minority of female porn stars become rich and successful. Many of these women were abused as children. Doesn't sound like an easy life to me.
Also, there is no universal standard of beauty because our society has very strict rules of who and who isn't generally attractive. Can you name one Asian American male sex symbol? Didn't think so. In America, a huge percentage of Asian women rather date/marry White men and few non-Asian women ever show interest in Asian men. Does this mean that there isn't a single attractive Asian man in the world? No. If Asian men had such a hard time getting laid, then why is China the most populated place on the planet?! It's American society's jacked up definition of beauty at work is what it is. American society, as a whole, puts Whiteness on a pedestal when it comes to beauty. This is why Black women with lighter skin and Whiter features like Halle Berry, Alicia Keys and Beyonce are worshipped. Black women with strong African features who may wear their natural hair are unfortunately not always looked at as beautiful by many in our society. Does this mean these people are not truly beautiful? Hell no. If you go to predominantly Black areas, the standard of beauty is a far cry from the standard of beauty held in White suburban circles.
Even regardless of race, beauty is always in the eye of the beholder. To some of you, a skinny rail thin woman with bright pale skin might be the epitome of beauty. Others may like a curvy voluptuous woman with dark skin. This can go on for many variations in between. Most of the images of beauty that pop up when I type in "beauty" to a google image search aren't my cup of tea at all. What does that tell you? The truth is, beauty is not something that is as quantifiable as the people writing on this post may seem to believe.
Last edited by goldenchild08; 01-18-2012 at 02:43 PM..
dunno about the beauty, but having plenty of money helps in nearly all ways and having money helps you be better looking (surgery, etc, () and have a better mate, take better care of friends and family, so much better chance of happiness. if beauty adds to money (and it DOES, typically) then it's going to help. Nothing is perfect.. Sure, Jet Li, and before him, Bruce Lee.
Please. Those are the stereotypical Asian karate men. Very few women think of those men as sex symbols, let alone attractive. The fairytale scripted tokenism of the fake forbidden relationship between the late R&B singer Aaliyah and Jet Li in the movie Romeo Must Die was all Hollywood; and very bad Hollywood at that. Can you point out a single Asian male/White female or Asian male/Black female couple in Hollywood (let alone a hot couple)? No. But J. Lo and Ben Affleck were a big deal. Socialite Kim Kardashian has made it her mission to sleep with every big name young Black rapper, R&B singer and NFL player. Every other Black NBA/NFL player is married to a White or Latina woman (i.e. Kobe Bryant, Michael Jordan, arguably Tiger Woods etc.). You don't hear of many women mentioning Jet Li and Bruce Lee with the likes of Denzel Washington, Brad Pitt or Antonio Banderas. Those few Asian men in Hollywood are completely desexualized compared to the the formerly-mentioned non-Asian men who women of all races fawn over.
There have been studies done that conclude Asian-American men do the worst in terms of trying to a get a date outside of their race. Despite the fact that Asian men, as a group, are generally more educated and earn better salaries than Black, White and Latino men, Asian men are very unpopular with American women of all races. If you scan most dating websites, most White, Latina, Black and even Asian women make sure not to list "Asian" as the race of their ideal date. Sadly, stereotypes do have a lot to do with it. Latino men are stereotypically viewed as smooth exotic ladies men and Black men are looked at as the cool guys who can sing, rap, dance, play sports well and pull off fashion and slang that other races can't as well as being rebellious bad boys. White men dominate American society so there is no need to justify that. The idiocy of racially based stereotypes is that people of all race vary in personality and stereotypes do not apply to every single person who merely inherited a set of physical features from their parents. Asian men are stereotypically shorter, less assertive, "not as masculine", nerdy, autistic and uncool. These stereotypes aren't true seeing as I'm half Asian and I'm over 6' and my fully Asian gradfather was also over 6'. I also have dated the nearly the whole spectrum of Black, White and Latina women. But Asian men, as a whole, aren't looked at as beautiful or desirable when it comes to dating in America. Studies of dating websites have concluded that an Asian man must make an exorbitant amount of money to even be considered on the same dating level as the typical Black, White or Latino male who earns an average salary when it comes to Asian men dating non-Asian women or sometimes even Asian women.
Here is proof that being beautiful doesn't guarantee an easy ride. Ms. Colorado beauty pageant winner was, or still is, homeless. She's pretty gorgeous right? The Saks Fifth Ave she worked at shutdown as well. Unless some rich baller saved this Rihanna look-alike, she's probably still living the American nightmare.
Last edited by goldenchild08; 01-23-2012 at 10:47 PM..
I'd say definitely not better, but easier. They definitely get treated better right away, at least with the opposite sex. I'm jealous of them because if they are beautiful now, that would mean that they were probably beautiful when they were younger which ultimately means that they've had a life with more special treatment. Although, I'd say that being beautiful does have its costs.
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Look at it this way: you are merely a vessel for genes to pass through, a link in the genetic chain...it was genetic pot-luck that you were born this way, so don't start like you're feeling all superior because of it. Beautiful people still age - and the fall is probably harder to take - and of course Death is the great leveler. At the end of the day, the only reason you're beautiful is so you can pass your genes along. Your great great great grandchildren won't even remember you. Society worships beauty because we are still just animals.
I've been told I'm good looking but never really considered myself such. I'm probably on the better side of average, so it's not sour grapes, it's the philosopher in me saying this.
I'm a movie star caliber handsome man. I get more attention, but it is superficial.
I'm more like a Tom Cruise type, I'm 5'8" just a little taller than him.
If I was the median height of a male of around 5'10" or taller I'd get even more attention.
That being said height for men is statisticlly more important than looks. If you are a tall average or better looking man who is assertive and intelligent, the world is much better.
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) than amongst the scientists and professors who study these trends.
