Why do people fear (and resist) change? (stats, death, how much)

[LoveWisdom]

I think change means risk. You never know how this "change" will turn out for you: whether your life will become better or worse because of it. "Same old thing" is much safer than "something new".

Also, change means: to step out of your comfort zone, the need to learn something new. And learning is not always easy (is hard for most people) and it takes effort to learn something new.

[LoveWisdom]

Originally Posted by CArizona

Why do people fear (and resist) change?...For starters I think we may have unconscious and deep-seated fears about becoming "extinct." Will we cease to exist if we give-up all that we "are" and all that we've "been" and "known?"...How can I admit that I might be wrong about beliefs that I've cherished and "held onto" all through my life? How can I question my culture and lifestyle?...If I find out that I was wrong about everything then what? Doesn't this make me appear "stupid?" And "who will I be" if I let-go of everything that I've held "near and dear" all through my life?...Do I have the ability to start over from "scratch" and form a brand new identity?...What will my friends and family members say when I tell them I'm not the "same" anymore? Will I be criticized or "shunned" for daring to step outside the "box" and "group-think?"... Will everyone tell me that I'm "crazy?" Will I have any support or understanding? Or will I have to go through a "void" and "go it alone" until I find people who share my new beliefs and views about life?...What are your thoughts about all of this? Why do you think people fear (and resist) change? Thanks!

Imagine that you are standing at the cliff and you don't know what's out there on the bottom. And you have to make a choice: to either jump or not. You would be afraid of getting hurt.

The change is like that. You never know what side effects or results it will bring. And you are afraid of bad results, afraid of getting hurt. So I do think that it's a fear of the unknown, the fear of getting hurt in the process.

Also, questioning your beliefs makes you doubt your own ability to make good decisions. Which in turn cripples your ability to function. In order to function well, you have to believe in something firmly, you have to be convinced of its reality.

But during the "change" process, you feel very disoriented... and it's a scary feeling.

[Dale Cooper]

Not wanting change has nothing to do with fear.

I despise technical change because it takes a huge chunk out of my life to learn something new that does the exact same thing as it did before, or worse, I have to learn something new with something I never use as a means to accomplish the same thing with something I do use.

We're living in a throw-away society. I don't like being forced to change. I'll change when I'm darned good and ready and not because some self-proclaimed tech genius determined what I have is obsolete. It will become obsolete on MY time rather than because a new version generates more money for someone else.

[Oleg Bach]

Originally Posted by allenk893

People change if they want to change. Most people value tradition. Like I do. I really hate change. I only get out of my comfort zone if it's for something I absolutely have to do to get to a place I want to be. Just like my career. It's going to change my life and take me away from everything and everyone I know to another place. I'm absolutely prepared for it because I want the change. But as for other areas of my life, I'm totally traditional and don't want it any other way.

Most people change during a life time..they adapt whether they like it or not. Tradition in it's good sense is what conservatism should be about- We conserve what is good and tried and true by time. Change that is experimental can end up with a lot of unwanted and unexpected blow back.

Right now because I am entering my mature years- I need a change- change that will sustain me and change that will bring about what I need to be happier and feel more secure. I know what I need and want at this point- but change does not take place unless a firm and committed decision takes place in the group or with the individual- Chanting the word change means nothing.

You are brave to let go of your surroundings and give up your comfort zone- knowing in your heart that the new comfort zone can be established that is better..What you are describing is a leap of faith- The success that I wanted as a younger man did not come- because I was not ready to leave all that I now to fulfill my dream- which would have meant leaving family behind...we cling to our past..to our failures..

[CowanStern]

Because it requires effort to adjust your lifestyle to accommodate change. And most people are not workaholics, and would rather not exert the necessary effort. Unless they see improvement in the change, and previous experience has pretty well jaded them on that score.

People generally do not have that much fear and aversion to change which represents a genuine advance or improvement, but they have figured out from experience that there ain't no such thing. Most of us have come to the conclusion that nothing ever changes for the better. Most things, when they change, get worse for the tradtional user of the thing, and any "improvement" is the mere addition of features that can be pitched to a new class of users, at the expense of the basic serviceability of the thing to prior users. Internet browsers leap immediatly to mind, along with cars that park themselves, and milk shakes containing no dairy ingredients.

[Coldjensens]

Pets fear change. they do not like their routines disrupted or changed and they get stressed out and some even die if you change too much. Plants are the same way. If you change the grade on your property, frequently all of the trees will die, even though those trees are perfectly capable of living under the new conditions. they dies becasue of the shock of the change.

Maybe it is just part of nature.

[BuffaloTransplant]

Originally Posted by Dale Cooper

Not wanting change has nothing to do with fear.

I despise technical change because it takes a huge chunk out of my life to learn something new that does the exact same thing as it did before, or worse, I have to learn something new with something I never use as a means to accomplish the same thing with something I do use.

We're living in a throw-away society. I don't like being forced to change. I'll change when I'm darned good and ready and not because some self-proclaimed tech genius determined what I have is obsolete. It will become obsolete on MY time rather than because a new version generates more money for someone else.

Agreed.

While we have cell phones to keep up with the kids, we still have a dial phone in the house -- and it never goes out or loses power (gotta love the copper wires and the transformers which never went out for a full week in an ice storm). We had phones when our kids went out. I still have my grandmother's strainer to puree apples or fruits for applesauce ( etc) and meat grinder ( it grinds a lot more than meat)... these are from the turn of the LAST century ( she got them in about 1910). I know how to work without electric in the kitchen and still can my tomatoes and make jellies and jams. My husband has electric tools, but his old fashioned ones work better forr many things... ever have no gas for a chain saw and a tree limb across the driveway? A good, well sharpened bow saw with the teeth properly set took care of it is a short time. Then again, how many guys have a tool to set the teeth after sharpening the saw now? And while I sew with an electric machine and serger, I keep the treadle one. Ice or snow storm or power outage? The oil lamps come out.

Technology has a place. So do traditional items. I guess most people consider this silly, but my family was never for throwing away and neither was my husband's. You can tell a lot about a person when you see if their house is entirely techie or is traditional.

[dr74]

Directed towards the OP..
I feel we all face this from time to time unless we are in touch with constantly changing times and we grow and gain tolerance of things, issues we were at one point in time resistant against.
I feel sorry for those that get stuck in an era or a frame of mind, this to me equals a close mind, and this does benefit anyone including the beholder.
Preserve who we are? Or that taught to us from a young age? What is that exactly? A formulated belief that someone else thought was “right”
What was the old hippy adage? “The only thing constant is change”
This does not mean believing everything you hear and jumping on the band wagon but it does mean to be open enough to understand what you may think you know was nothing but what happened during your era or “time”
You most certainly do not have to conform however you do have the distinct right to ask “Is what I know to be right could possibly be wrong?” That is when change happens and it is seen all around us all the time.
Homosexuality? In my family? My dad does not understand it, my mother does. She is 62. She understand mental health and homosexuality because she was exposed to this.
Even before their was the whole AIDS, bathhouses fiasco in SF she was aware of this because my great uncle and cousin were gay. It was never discussed, it was never exploited, they were discreet but these were my mothers family, she knew them when they were children and states “They were born like this” It takes some people sometime to catch up.
This was the era were gays were considered null and void. As they mingled with the opposite sex and procreated because the church demanded and so forth.
My mothers aunt was schizophrenic, there was no diagnosis al they knew is they needed to keep her in the house, keep n eye on her and go along with her.
My father hated blacks and whites being raised in the rural migrant 40’s in texas. It was not until they adopted me and my twin and they knew we were half irish that my dad began to change a little. It was not until my oldest nephew was born and his father was black that changed everything
He learned that black does not mean anything and a little baby who had black in him was innocent and needed love and was his grandson.
Change and perceptions are inevitable if one allows it to happen and run its course.

[criminaljusticegrad]

Change requires putting forward some conscious or unconscious degree of effort. On the whole, people prefer not to have to put effort if it's not needed. For some this is called practicality. For many others it is only viewed in the extremes of anarchy or stasis. It is from those association that people begin to despise, fear, or begrudge change. It's simply easier not to change. That's the short and simple of it. Of course, all this is just my opinion.

[CArizona]

One of things I've learned in "old age" is that I have to be open to compromises at times. If I insist on having "my own way" all the time others will resent me. (Because I failed to consider their "side" to issues.)....So I try to be flexible and open-minded to the wants and needs of others without giving everything away...And I've noticed that it's easy to turn into a "robot" (and become "shut-down") when I follow the exact same routines day after day. I get in a "rut." I start to stagnate. I don't feel fully alive or "on the ball" anymore...My "cure" for stagnation is to start to change and vary my routines. To become more spontaneous and less rigid and controlled...My "comfort zone" may provide me with a sense of security. (I can hide in my "cave" and "drop-out" from the world for long periods of time and "hibernate.")...But staying in my "comfort zone" (non-stop) will stunt my growth in the long-run. I'll lose touch with a "larger reality." My "world" and my perceptions will be very "limited."