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Old 02-28-2013, 11:39 AM
 
Location: Tampa, Florida
666 posts, read 967,671 times
Reputation: 525

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I am quite sure that regardless of all the reasons and explanation I could give as per why I don't want (and won't have) children, and even some may understand me if I say them, the majority will still accuse me of being pessimistic, negative and such. So I won't bother you with the reasons just fair enough, I will not have children.

Now, let me express myself will all sincerity. I no longer see as something "great" when somebody announces that will be a parent. When I read or hear someone so excited about being a new mother or a new father, or the second time, or the third time, I feel like "are these people aware of the world we are living in"?

See at this point of my life, since I cannot force anyone to change their mind and it is really not my intention to do it anyway, I simply don't care when someone becomes a parent. What it really worries me is that the new person coming to this world filled with fierce competition and unemployment, as well as other serious issues that do not see any realistic solution in the horizon, the person will not have the life his parents would wish he or she will have.

Today, things are not easy. I know some people will not give hope to humanity. Some people will still believe that things will get better, that bullying will end, that corruption in the government will be eliminated and that society will improve. I believe personally that being delusionally positive in this sense does not do any good to the new humans inhabiting Earth. You see, there ARE SOLUTIONS to solve the problems of the world. But the society as a whole is not willing to do the necessary for such solutions to be executed. You can tell me that I should change my mind and work hard to help make the world better. The problem is that there is no way I can make the world better by myself. I could have a child and teach him and her of how life works, what things are wrong and right, and he or she could become someone respectable, but that does not mean or guarantee he or she will enjoy life as I would wish. You know that in today's economy, ANYONE could lose their jobs. See this is how corporations and government work today: earn more, pay less, take away the most possible of all financial benefits, reduce task force, substitute human labor with machines, and so forth. Today, a bunch of jobs that were performed by people are done by either technology of many jobs are done by one person, when it used to be done by two or more.

Cost of life is higher, and salaries are being halved or reduced in some manner. Today, most jobs require overtime, holiday work, even on-call and lots of travel. What does this mean? Yes... Exactly, less time with your family. In some jobs, a mother or father is sent overseas for a significant amount of time, especially in the military. I have in my family people who, he, the husband, has been on the military all his life, going from one place to another, while her wife stayed with the children, and today as far as I have been told, the children developed behavioral problems. Many people, as you know, end up divorced, for many different reasons.

You see I know this is not happening to all families but it is happing to a great number of them and the truth is that as the world works today, there is no guarantee you or I can guarantee that

1. When I have children I will have a stable, secure job which treats me fair (8-5, weekends off, holidays off, very few or no travel at all)
2. Will not be fired/laid off
3. Will find a job quickly if fired or laid off

These problems have always existed, but today they are becoming more possible. Tomorrow the sequester begins here in the U.S. and many families will be affected. You and I know children do not deserve any unnecessary suffering, like seeing their parents struggle with the economy and especially wondering if they will eventually lose what they have earned because of the greed and incompetence of some people. I choose to not have them, but I of course respect your decision and hopefully God help you to deal with the situations if you have that strong desire to become a parent.
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Old 02-28-2013, 03:05 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,907 posts, read 34,966,446 times
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Okay. But if you are not trying to change anyone's mind and respect people's decisions to have children, why the grand announcement?
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Old 02-28-2013, 03:25 PM
 
12,914 posts, read 19,782,209 times
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And why on a parenting forum?
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Old 02-28-2013, 03:41 PM
 
4,899 posts, read 16,246,067 times
Reputation: 3790
to be honest, i didnt read your whole post. there was a lot of doom and gloom involved. it's great you know what you want, and are planning to see it through to the end. people have been talking about the end of the world, and horrible economies and over population etc, for as long as I can remember hearing. things will get better, things will get worse. the world can change in seconds.
I for one want wonderful future for my child, but in all reality I just want him to be happy. the world isnt perfect now and probably not what our parents had hoped for us, but I am still happy to be a part of it all.
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Old 02-28-2013, 04:17 PM
 
Location: Tampa, Florida
666 posts, read 967,671 times
Reputation: 525
Quote:
Originally Posted by findinghope View Post
to be honest, i didnt read your whole post. there was a lot of doom and gloom involved. it's great you know what you want, and are planning to see it through to the end. people have been talking about the end of the world, and horrible economies and over population etc, for as long as I can remember hearing. things will get better, things will get worse. the world can change in seconds.
I for one want wonderful future for my child, but in all reality I just want him to be happy. the world isnt perfect now and probably not what our parents had hoped for us, but I am still happy to be a part of it all.
Questions that parents-to-be and people thinking about parenthood are:

1. Am I ready?

Being ready does not mean to want them. It means if you are ready for the entire package that comes with the baby, who will grow into a child and then into an adolescent. You have to think about the next 18 years, not the next year, today many people only want a baby, they don't really want the child or adolescent.

2. Are you aware of the implications of having a child?

There are many social issues that need to be thought about when having a kid. Cost of life; dealing with possible hard character; possible bullying, and other effects. A parent is being delusionally positive by saying they are not issues, and this is not that kind of thing that you say "I am not going to worry about that now", because this is serious matter and if, when the time comes, you are not capable of handling this, you are going to be in serious trouble. There are things that you can't control. But you must be ready for the basics: how will i raise my child in the event of a job loss? Do I have enough savings? Do I know people who can give me support? How can I handle the situation of my child being bullied?

3. How prepared am I to deal with my son or daughter when he/she becomes a teenager? Will I be that kind of father that has the morals to teach them values on the matters of sex, hard work, etc.?

There are other questions I am pretty sure some expert in the matter of parenting could help, but the most important is, in the event that my child is not what I expect, how will I handle it?

I have been in various forums and the amount of mediocre, crap parents found is frightening.
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Old 02-28-2013, 04:22 PM
 
Location: southwestern PA
20,426 posts, read 35,696,560 times
Reputation: 38829
The OP sounds depressed....
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Old 02-28-2013, 06:24 PM
 
32,538 posts, read 29,319,241 times
Reputation: 32238
I can remember people saying the same thing 40 years ago.

And people continue to have children. And some of them grow up and do great things. They grow up to be a blessing to other people, to invent things that will change society for the better, to become peacemakers, to find cures to disease and ways to make water drinkable and distribute food to the hungry in distant places.

It's just that none of those children are born to the people who see no hope for the world. Just as well. I can't imagine passing that attitude on to a child. Because if that's done nothing positive gets done.
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Old 02-28-2013, 06:27 PM
 
820 posts, read 1,035,929 times
Reputation: 757
Again, why post this in a parenting board? Is he saying we should not have had children? It's a little too late for that.
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Old 02-28-2013, 07:44 PM
 
Location: Round Rock, Texas
10,061 posts, read 9,305,978 times
Reputation: 13128
Ok, so don't have children. No one is forcing you.

Wait, haven't I read a similar thread a couple of weeks ago? What's up with these similar threads?
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Old 02-28-2013, 08:06 PM
 
47,576 posts, read 58,690,207 times
Reputation: 22158
Yes -- just don't have kids. Especially if you think some exaggerated sequester is going to make all doom and gloom for families. I have kids, and tomorrow, I'll get up and head to work and my kids will go to school or work and our economy will not be any different than it was yesterday, sure taxes are up, health care premiums are up and gas prices are up, but we're working hard and doing well enough.

None of my kids has ever complained of being bullied, they always seemed happy enough and had enough friends.
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