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Old 04-27-2013, 08:47 AM
 
1,014 posts, read 1,188,377 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aquietpath View Post
The term tomboy doesn't seem to have any negative connotation for a girl who likes doing "boy" things, but what about a boy who enjoys doing "girl" things? Any terms that come to mind are extremely demeaning and negative.
This is due to internalized misogyny. It is "understandable" that a girl would want to be like a male because they are so priviliged, but for a boy to want to be like a female is viewed as offensive.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tonylu View Post
I'm not saying I don't like the boyish things like Dinosaurs and Trucks. I wanted to be a paleontologist for half my life and travel the world digging up bones. I also had a full large bin of cars and trucks. I even had the action figures that boys usually had. Mostly Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and a couple Darkwing Duck figures and I still like that stuff but I also cross the gender lines when it comes to liking certain things.
All of these things are inherently gender-neutral, as well. They are just marketed to specific genders & so children & adults are conditioned to believe otherwise. I was into all the same things you were into growing up. I had the sweetest TMNT jacket as a little kid. All the boys were jealous.
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Old 04-27-2013, 08:56 AM
 
Location: Fort Worth, TX
1,469 posts, read 1,795,716 times
Reputation: 1606
Quote:
Originally Posted by sll3454 View Post
I grew up in the '60s and '70s. As a girl I climbed trees, hunted frogs, played football in the street with neighborhood other boys and girls, preferred to wear my brother's old jeans rather than my sister's old dresses, got as dirty as Dennis the Menace but took fewer baths, and knew that I could grow up to be anything I wanted. I also learned to bake and to knit (as did my brother), loved to read, and played with a dollhouse, using snails instead of dolls. I spent a lot of time in our local toy store, but I don't remember a boys' section or a girls' section. (I can still tell you where to find the crafts, the Breyer horses, the yo-yos, and the candy.) No one - at home or at school - told me I had to like pink, or that I should play with dolls, or that toy cars were for boys. No one told me I had to learn to wear makeup or that I would someday be evaluated by my clothes and my hair. I didn't even know that I was unable to identify with the male protagonists in my books. I grew up free.

In general, I think people would say that women and girls are freer now than during those decades, but it seems to me that the definitions of what it means to be boy or girl, male or female, have actually become more rigid. Toys are marketed to boys or to girls. Toy stores have boy sections and girl sections. And little girls who hate dresses believe they must really be boys. Are we confusing kids about what it is to be male or to be female? Every article I've seen about a child who was "born the wrong gender" tells about how they couldn't accept the clothes and activities assigned to their birth gender, and that's how the kid and parents knew the child really should be the other sex. (I'm sure it's more complex than that, but I mention it because it seems to be a large part of the story every time.)

In a recent professional baseball game a batter charged the mound and fought with the pitcher. The benches emptied as both teams ran out onto the field. When players were interviewed, some of them said things like, "He did what he needed to do, as a man." So kids are told that this is how men act. Is this part of what defines manhood? (Really, I think it's more typical of 13-year-olds, than of men.)

Sexist expressions are common: "screamed like a little girl," "man-up," and "grow a pair" are three I see and hear often. Why are these so freely accepted?

What do you think?
Dayum.... you make a valid point. I remember when I grew up, my mother told me to put on a shirt when I was maybe 7 and still flat chested. I asked why and she said I was a girl, I think that was the first time I looked at myself? Because I usually ran around with my brothers, fought the other boys, played football, walked around in jeans no shirt and no shoes. I was the second oldest and had three brothers. When I started growing up I had to always have my brothers around me but they could go anywhere they wanted, they could stay out for days and I could not even go to my friend's house, I could not miss church or whatever for school activities but my brothers could. When my mom was coming home she asked me what we were eating not my brothers, when the house was disgusting she came to me and beat me. When I fought in school (defending myself), I was beaten but when my brothers did it she came up with an excuse to why they did it. I hated how I grew up. My dad came to me stating I was to take care of him when he fell ill and I was like you have more boys why can't they? Why should I be the one giving you your diabetic shots? And they would all say that's what girls do. If I spat I was always rebuked. I tried to be as unfeminine as I could be. My mom would get me dresses but I kept wearing the same worn out jeans instead. My family and everyone else made me hate being female. I should be playing with dolls instead of footballs, I was to learn how to cook and clean and other crap. Nope! To this day I still see myself as rebelling. I can't stop now.
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