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I am 5'6" tall and weigh about 115 lbs. My weight fluctuates between 110 and 120, but I've never been plump. I have my share of medical problems and many of them are challenging, but that's not why I am posting today. It's only to let you know that, just because a woman doesn't need to watch her weight constantly, her life isn't a bed of roses.
So this is my question. Why is it perfectly okay for someone to remark "You're too skinny" or "You should eat more" when it's considered very rude and insensitive to say "You look like a fat slob" or "Maybe you should cut down on the snacking."
I'm serious. To me, either way (too fat, too skinny) is saying "you're not quite right." If an obese woman loses 10 pounds, she is congratulated for skipping the Doritos. If a thin person says "My weight is just fine" then she's acting conceited.
In any case, what do you think? If you ask someone for an opinion, expect an honest answer. However, why does society accept "You look too bony" as an expression of concern, but "You look like a fat pig in those jeans" an insult? I'd be embarrassed to leave the house the way many of the women in Walmart dress. I live in SW Florida, and 250 lb women go food shopping in shorts and tanks. Maybe I've thought it, but I would never say "OMG! "How do you fit into a bathtub?"
By the way, I hope what I just wrote sounds mean, because it's just as rude to poke someone you don't know like a cantaloupe and say "you should eat more."
I was severely underweight when I was in my teens and 20s, and people used to comment all the time: "you are SO skinny", "you need to gain weight", "are you on drugs?", "are you anorexic?", "don't you ever eat?" Yeah, I was well aware of my weight and that I needed to gain. I didn't do drugs, nor was I anorexic. If I complained about the rudeness, people would just say "well be glad you're not overweight and can eat what you want." I finally just started making rude comments back about the person's appearance. That shut them up, but it certainly didn't win friends. lol When I was in my early 30s I started gaining weight. It seems like the more I pay attention to what I eat and exercise, the more I gain. (50 lbs later, I'm not technically overweight, but my BMI is bordering on it.) At least no one has made any rude comments yet.
It seems that society DOES decide what's offensive and what's not...doesn't mean we have to conform. You're right that people will keep their thoughts about fat people to themselves some of the time, yet don't think twice to say to someones who's thin they should eat more. Maybe in some off handed way they actually see it as a compliment...probably because a large percentage of us would love to have someone tell us we're too thin. Maybe it's their way of getting a "dig" at you because they're actually jealous of your slim body
I am 5'6" tall and weigh about 115 lbs. My weight fluctuates between 110 and 120, but I've never been plump. I have my share of medical problems and many of them are challenging, but that's not why I am posting today. It's only to let you know that, just because a woman doesn't need to watch her weight constantly, her life isn't a bed of roses.
So this is my question. Why is it perfectly okay for someone to remark "You're too skinny" or "You should eat more" when it's considered very rude and insensitive to say "You look like a fat slob" or "Maybe you should cut down on the snacking."
I'm serious. To me, either way (too fat, too skinny) is saying "you're not quite right." If an obese woman loses 10 pounds, she is congratulated for skipping the Doritos. If a thin person says "My weight is just fine" then she's acting conceited.
In any case, what do you think? If you ask someone for an opinion, expect an honest answer. However, why does society accept "You look too bony" as an expression of concern, but "You look like a fat pig in those jeans" an insult? I'd be embarrassed to leave the house the way many of the women in Walmart dress. I live in SW Florida, and 250 lb women go food shopping in shorts and tanks. Maybe I've thought it, but I would never say "OMG! "How do you fit into a bathtub?"
By the way, I hope what I just wrote sounds mean, because it's just as rude to poke someone you don't know like a cantaloupe and say "you should eat more."
I routinely point out that some people are fat slobs throughout day-to-day interaction with the general public to my friends and family. It is merely a judgment of them and not one that I think they should feel compelled to act on. I'm too selfish with my time to ever point out to a stranger that they are fat/skinny/ugly/beautiful. I simply don't care, because they have no impact on my life and time is a resource better spent elsewhere.
If you are 'too skinny' and you care about that persons opinion of you then take and process it how you feel is appropriate. If you are easily swayed by someone's subjective opinion of your body then I guess this could be damning or jubilation.
If a random person says it, it would be the same as them showering me with compliments. What do I really care good or bad? They are a random person I will never see again, so good or bad to me, their take on me doesn't matter.
If you flat out ask me if you are fat, skinny or just right then I will truthfully answer. Just don't be shocked when you get the cold, hard reality of my opinion dropped on you.
If you look like Adonis, then I will compliment. If you look like Rosanne Barr then I will criticize.
If you matter to that person it should carry some weight (no pun intended), if they are a random person then either end of the spectrum isn't impacting me.
I am 5'6" tall and weigh about 115 lbs. My weight fluctuates between 110 and 120, but I've never been plump. I have my share of medical problems and many of them are challenging, but that's not why I am posting today. It's only to let you know that, just because a woman doesn't need to watch her weight constantly, her life isn't a bed of roses.
So this is my question. Why is it perfectly okay for someone to remark "You're too skinny" or "You should eat more" when it's considered very rude and insensitive to say "You look like a fat slob" or "Maybe you should cut down on the snacking."
I'm serious. To me, either way (too fat, too skinny) is saying "you're not quite right." If an obese woman loses 10 pounds, she is congratulated for skipping the Doritos. If a thin person says "My weight is just fine" then she's acting conceited.
In any case, what do you think? If you ask someone for an opinion, expect an honest answer. However, why does society accept "You look too bony" as an expression of concern, but "You look like a fat pig in those jeans" an insult? I'd be embarrassed to leave the house the way many of the women in Walmart dress. I live in SW Florida, and 250 lb women go food shopping in shorts and tanks. Maybe I've thought it, but I would never say "OMG! "How do you fit into a bathtub?"
By the way, I hope what I just wrote sounds mean, because it's just as rude to poke someone you don't know like a cantaloupe and say "you should eat more."
I suppose there will always be people that does not stop and think a little further what they are going to say. We all are guilty of that in differing degrees. It can be a comment like "You ate too much", "Why don't you use the black dress", "You are too slow", "You are tall", "Why didn't you go to college", and on and on and on. I think the best way to handle comments like this is to first see the individual. Is he/she someone you know closely and you do not thin he or she does not have an ill intent. In that case you can let them know you feel bad about it. Others may have an ill intent. Also, you can let them know with the benefit of the doubt. If they continue you can take it to a more firm manner.
In some cases you simply ignore them. It takes willingness to sometimes just let those things go for the save of keeping good relations. In some case you simply may have to sever relationships if someone does not care how you feel.
The bottom line is that there will always be situations like that. Take care.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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It's simple. In this society at the current time being fat is seen as bad and being skinny is seen as desirable. Being a little too thin (not anorexic) is seen as good or okay, and well, a lot of people are also annoyed by this. Some may be fat people who are jealous, but others are equally annoyed by the preoccupation with thin, that they think it's okay to diss them because it 'doesn't really count.' Kind of how society is allowed to say bad things about white people, because 'it doesn't really do any damage.' In a way it's backhanded racism because it's saying white is actually good, so any insult is kind of a joke. But of course it might be just straight out prejudice.
Society determines what is and isn't "politically correct" but in my opinion its the individual who determines what is offensive. In the example you gave I agree it sounds like jealousy...I'm thin too and I get "OMG you're eating ALL that" type comments all the time. I soooo feel like pointing out I usually only eat once a day and don't really have to watch my weight but its not even worth it. Its a shame some people feel its politically correct to bash anyone with some percieved advantage be it looks, wealth, race, whatever. Its just ugly regardless and says nothing about you but volumes about them.
The the OP: I am stunned that people would critique you as "too skinny." It just goes to show people are getting weirder and weirder. People go around and think they can run everyone else's life, and the people around them should all conform to their concept of what is proper behavior. I'm all for letting people live and let live, just don't ask me to pay for your bad decisions. And don't expect me to feel sorry for you because you were dumb and irresponsible.
In USA society decide nothing, government does.
Once in a while group of people decide try something like say females in 20th to get them right to vote.
In my opinion in USA society as term is useless as we are class society and have at least multiple classes about say 100.
When I do something last thing I think about is society opinion but I evaluate laws first.
Sounds to me like you are in great shape. If you gained a little bit of weight, you would still be in a great shape. I'm sorry that people bother you by saying you are too skinny. Most of them are fat and literally killing themselves by eating too much food. Seeing that you don't engage in the slow suicide of obesity may leave them feeling vulnerable and they respond by telling you to join them.
I suggest shrugging it off. I learned not to care what random people think. Most of them are borderline retarded anyway. (At least compared to my IQ) Why should I care about their opinion? Why should you? Your a beautiful woman. If they can't handle that, it is their problem.
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