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Americans are not obsessed about having children at all.
In fact, the opposite is actually true.
The birth rate is much lower today than it has ever been, for
American citizens anyway.
Taking that a step further and choosing not to give life and raise children so you can go on a cruise meets the very definition of selfish
Uh no Selfish is what you do to another person. If I choose not to have kids and go on cruises, I am not hurting anyone. People who keep having kids while they can barely take care of the existing ones are selfish. Yes I do think America is kid obsessed. You can barely pass a day without a baby bump watch or announcement about a celeb.
As far as "What to Expect When No One is Expecting", it is down right racist. It translates into not enough high class white women having kids.Ironic, they want people to have kids but no means of support. Conservatives cant stand that women actually have choices now
THIS! Every time a friend of mine has a baby, I never see her again. They get sucked into the mommy black hole, and don't have time for me. They only have time to cart the kid around, playdates, etc. They develop a new social network of other mommies. It doesn't have to be that way, but for some reason we're obsessed and make our lives ALL about the kids. I read an article comparing the French parenting style to American, and France has a much better balance than we do. No mommy black hole over there.
I imagine I'll remain childless, but if I don't, there's gonna be ME time. Mom will not define me. I will define me.
+1000. My sister and I used to have a very close relationship. Then she had her kids. I truly love her, and I truly do love her kids, but I do long for the days when we could just have fun doing things together, without constantly thinking about little Johnny's potty training and buying church clothes for little Joey, wiping snotty noses, school grades, etc, etc. . . And it is a cultural thing. In other countries, parents are also human beings. In America, all traces of humanity somehow vanish and they (especially moms) become lifeless, sexless beings that only exist for the benefit of smaller human beings
Taking that a step further and choosing not to give life and raise children so you can go on a cruise meets the very definition of selfish
Selfish:
self·ish ˈselfiSH
adjective
adjective selfish
(of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure.
In consideration of others, especially the poor kids I would ever have, I chose not to have them. I would have been a bad mom because I would not have wanted to be a mom. Kids suffer when raised by people who would have rather gone on cruises.
Not having kids because one is concerned for one's own "personal profit or pleasure" is good enough reason not to have them. Why make a sacrifice that will make everyone involved miserable? Having kids should be a choice. If people would rather have something else in their lives, that's a choice not an act of selfishness.
+1000. My sister and I used to have a very close relationship. Then she had her kids. I truly love her, and I truly do love her kids, but I do long for the days when we could just have fun doing things together, without constantly thinking about little Johnny's potty training and buying church clothes for little Joey, wiping snotty noses, school grades, etc, etc. . . And it is a cultural thing. In other countries, parents are also human beings. In America, all traces of humanity somehow vanish and they (especially moms) become lifeless, sexless beings that only exist for the benefit of smaller human beings
This is another thing I need to come to terms with before I have kids. I need to be ready for my own identity to 'die', because in this culture, mothers are nothing but vessels for their offspring.
My wife and I are happily married for over a decade; we are in our 30s/40s. We chose not to have kids unless we ran into a lot of money. That decision was made before we got married--it was an unwritten 'pre-nuptial'. We have worked hard to follow the spirit of our prenup--if you know what I mean!
The end result is that we have a pretty happy life with lots of time to enjoy each other, travel, be with friends...
Shortly after our marriage, we raised a puppy together as our 'daughter'. That puppy became the bond between us. Recently, the puppy left us for good but she left behind the bond. We have photos, videos, memories--and her grave in our backyard.
A dog is a much lower-impact child substitute for responsible 'parenthood'.
We knew/know that we would not be able to give a good life to our human baby without sacrificing our own lives unless we had lots of money. Our decision has stood the test of time. Of course we have been bombarded with suggestions about having kids--as late as two days ago. We have been told that we would miss the children when we would be old. We have been asked as to who would 'take care' of us when we are old?
Selfish are those who bring babies to this world without providing the babies adequate means to a good life. Selfish are those who think their raised children have a DUTY to take care of them in their old age. Selfish are those who, often, seek their 15-minute of attention in elaborate weddings and baby showers from the bored and fake-fawning relatives.
When they have a third child, the economy grows as, when their children reach adulthood, there will need to be more infrastructure, more food, more housing, more needs then the parents had during their time. This is the key to economic growth. A 2+ growth rate.
We have to have more children, or we have to keep increasing immigration
Again- this kind of unchecked, exponential growth we have had since 1800 is completely UNSUSTAINABLE in a sealed, fishtank with finite, limited resources like the earth no matter what the economy "needs"! Regardless of the economy this is unsustainable, there is no oxygen, topsoil or fresh water in space, it doesn't all just magically drop in from space when we need it.
The US population should be half what it is, global population too. The economy is an artifically created entity that cannot just grow indefinitely every year because it is completely dependent on more people buying more goods and services than the year before and the year before that, and logic already tells us that the exponential human population growth continuing as it has doubling about every 50 years on average is totally unsustainable, thus the economy is destinied to collapse if it doesn't just level out and stay there.
Go watch the movie "Soylent Green" to get a better idea what life would be like with 600 million in this country and continued exponential growth- everyone and everything suffers.
Again- this kind of unchecked, exponential growth we have had since 1800 is completely UNSUSTAINABLE in a sealed, fishtank with finite, limited resources like the earth no matter what the economy "needs"! Regardless of the economy this is unsustainable, there is no oxygen, topsoil or fresh water in space, it doesn't all just magically drop in from space when we need it.
The US population should be half what it is, global population too. The economy is an artifically created entity that cannot just grow indefinitely every year because it is completely dependent on more people buying more goods and services than the year before and the year before that, and logic already tells us that the exponential human population growth continuing as it has doubling about every 50 years on average is totally unsustainable, thus the economy is destinied to collapse if it doesn't just level out and stay there.
Go watch the movie "Soylent Green" to get a better idea what life would be like with 600 million in this country and continued exponential growth- everyone and everything suffers.
We have plenty of growth potential here.
And all jobs aren't part of industries with limited resources. House cleaners, for instance, don't really have a problem with natural resources. Neither do other service industry employment opportunities. More people means there will be demand for more service.
Plenty of food here in the US. Other countries, not so much.
This is another thing I need to come to terms with before I have kids. I need to be ready for my own identity to 'die', because in this culture, mothers are nothing but vessels for their offspring.
You have some control over that. I see mothers doing all kinds of things: they're doctors, teachers, lawyers (too many lawyers), housewives, maybe the next President. If you want to see what it's like to be nothing but a vessel for your offspring, move to Pakistan.
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